Anonymous wrote:A couple thoughts ~ the older they get the greater number of adults they have in their life to answer to: teachers, coaches, neighbors, family members both immediate and extended. Do not try to manage these relationships. Your child is learning relationship skills to eventually manage adult relationships in their community. Surprise bonus: they don't have to learn everything from you. They shouldn't, and they won't.
Natural consequences ~ natural consequences is the best teacher. The best enforcer of punishment. Do not shield them from natural consequences.
Regarding decisions of maturity ~ what they are ready for, and when ... Do not impede. Do not promote.
I also found this commentary insightful. Ours are nearing the end of HS and, after reading this, realized that they
have found some wonderful adult mentors along the way. Sometimes, they’ve even been kind enough to mentor me & DH. Their sometimes older, sometimes younger perspectives and their knowledge of our child provided some meaningful and necessary counsel.
Ours are also in JROTC and the Senior MI opened Freshman/LE1 Open House Night with “Do Not Save Your Cadet.” That HS, that “now” is the time to let them fail - when the consequences are not as great and they still have a support system to help if there’s real trouble. No truer words ever spoken.
Thanks OP for starting the thread and to PPs for some thoughtful replies.