Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please search and post the MCPD press release first

https://www2.montgomerycountymd.gov/mcgportalapps/Press_Detail_Pol.aspx?Item_ID=45093

Suspect is also a convicted teen rapist with a long rap sheet

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/man-accused-of-assaulting-teen-was-on-sex-offender-registry-woman-tried-to-intervene-before-attack/3595271/

Someone started to help but gave up when it got too inconvenient.

The Good Samaritan tried and was rejected. She did not give up because it got too inconvenient. The girl didn’t even commit to feeling unsafe. I don’t know what you expect should have been done.

Not blaming the victim. I try don’t think we prepare kids for situations like this.

I wouldn't say the Good Samaritan was 'rejected'.

Put yourself in this girl's shoes. You're a minor. Maybe you feel a bit weird, but you're not sure if you are actually in danger or not. How do you know?? You don't want to make a big scene if it's just some silly guy trying to flirt. It's a tough situation, and even a Good Samaritan doesn't want to over-step boundaries if her help isn't wanted.

The girl probably didn't 'commit to feeling unsafe' because you don't know beforehand that someone is going to sexually assault you.

That is why it is so tough to be a woman. There is no playbook on how to prevent sexual assault. We need to crack down on predators. This guy already had a rap sheet and was known to target kids.

I was not criticizing the victim. I was reacting to the person who said the Good Samaritan gave up when it got inconvenient. I think that’s a seriously unfair characterization of the situation.

I think you’re right that there’s no playbook and as much as we would like, it’s possible that nothing would have kept the young girl safe. I do see value in sharing ideas about how to handle potentially dangerous situations because sometimes bad things can be avoided. And I think the more we talk about such things, the better we get at risk identification. Also we may learn things we didn’t before that have potential to keep us safe. That makes this a good conversation.

But honestly, I have nothing but empathy for that young girl who experienced the unthinkable. I hope she can find peace. And I do admire the Good Samaritan who tried.

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who recommended riding to the terminal stop, and this is within my professional purview.

It is really hard to make good choices while your body is flooded with fear/stress hormones. This doesn't even take into consideration all of the ways in which girls/women are socialized to "be nice."

That's why running scenarios ahead of time is so important. Help them brainstorm some options before fear paralyzes them.

It's also important to practice making a scene. It's SO HARD, but it is easier when you practice.

Again, hard no to consider the race of both the victim and the attacker here.

We have seen women ROASTED online because they have 'made a scene' or said they were uncomfortable around a man of a different race. Nothing happened on the bus. You could easily end up in a scenario where the girl is seen as a young racist Karen for acting up or making a scene. It's complicated to say the least.

Anonymous wrote:I think it matters and it's not about victim blaming but more how this guy managed to get a child's phone number and then lure her into the woods. There's something about his MO that seems to work and if we understood that scenario we could better educate our kids that this is a trap.

I'm a PP who you might be responding too (because I'm a bit hypersensitive about blaming this poor girl) and I do agree with that completely.

Would like to know more about how this unfolded to be able to talk to my daughter about it.

I think it matters and it's not about victim blaming but more how this guy managed to get a child's phone number and then lure her into the woods. There's something about his MO that seems to work and if we understood that scenario we could better educate our kids that this is a trap.

I'm the PP who recommended riding to the terminal stop, and this is within my professional purview.

It is really hard to make good choices while your body is flooded with fear/stress hormones. This doesn't even take into consideration all of the ways in which girls/women are socialized to "be nice."

That's why running scenarios ahead of time is so important. Help them brainstorm some options before fear paralyzes them.

It's also important to practice making a scene. It's SO HARD, but it is easier when you practice.

Anonymous wrote:Did the girl give him her number? How could he text her if she didn't give him her number?

I don't think it really even matters if she gave him her number. That doesn't mean she wanted to be sexually assaulted.

And, she is 17 (!!). It can be hard for a 17yo girl to say no to an adult depending on the situation.

Did the girl give him her number? How could he text her if she didn't give him her number?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please search and post the MCPD press release first

https://www2.montgomerycountymd.gov/mcgportalapps/Press_Detail_Pol.aspx?Item_ID=45093

Suspect is also a convicted teen rapist with a long rap sheet

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/man-accused-of-assaulting-teen-was-on-sex-offender-registry-woman-tried-to-intervene-before-attack/3595271/

Someone started to help but gave up when it got too inconvenient.

The Good Samaritan tried and was rejected. She did not give up because it got too inconvenient. The girl didn’t even commit to feeling unsafe. I don’t know what you expect should have been done.

Not blaming the victim. I try don’t think we prepare kids for situations like this.

I wouldn't say the Good Samaritan was 'rejected'.

Put yourself in this girl's shoes. You're a minor. Maybe you feel a bit weird, but you're not sure if you are actually in danger or not. How do you know?? You don't want to make a big scene if it's just some silly guy trying to flirt. It's a tough situation, and even a Good Samaritan doesn't want to over-step boundaries if her help isn't wanted.

The girl probably didn't 'commit to feeling unsafe' because you don't know beforehand that someone is going to sexually assault you.

That is why it is so tough to be a woman. There is no playbook on how to prevent sexual assault. We need to crack down on predators. This guy already had a rap sheet and was known to target kids.

Anonymous wrote:I had mentioned concerns about public transportation, predatory behavior, and DD riding the ride-on bus to MC /being amongst adult males as one reason that I would not consider the high school options and people on this forum scoffed at me. The world is often an unsafe place for women, particularly minor females.

Amen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please search and post the MCPD press release first

https://www2.montgomerycountymd.gov/mcgportalapps/Press_Detail_Pol.aspx?Item_ID=45093

Suspect is also a convicted teen rapist with a long rap sheet

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/man-accused-of-assaulting-teen-was-on-sex-offender-registry-woman-tried-to-intervene-before-attack/3595271/

Someone started to help but gave up when it got too inconvenient.

The Good Samaritan tried and was rejected. She did not give up because it got too inconvenient. The girl didn’t even commit to feeling unsafe. I don’t know what you expect should have been done.

Not blaming the victim. I try don’t think we prepare kids for situations like this.

Honestly, there is no good way to prepare your kids for 'situations like this'. I used to regularly ride the public bus when I was 17, but in another state. I definitely had uncomfortable situations.

We don't know the race of the victim. I live in Aspen Hill and it's possible the 17yo girl was either White or Latina. Impossible not to take race into consideration here. Can you imagine the bad optics if she had said she felt uncomfortable with a Black man sitting next to her?

This is an incredibly tough situation to be in as a young, White woman (and I'm not White, FWIW). Is she going to be labelled a racist if she says she's uncomfortable? And, how do you know that something bad is going to happen?

Anonymous wrote:I had mentioned concerns about public transportation, predatory behavior, and DD riding the ride-on bus to MC /being amongst adult males as one reason that I would not consider the high school options and people on this forum scoffed at me. The world is often an unsafe place for women, particularly minor females.

I have a DS and a DD. Like it or not, I have different considerations with my DD. I could see my DS being the victim of a robbery, etc but my DD is clearly more at risk for sexual assault.

I had mentioned concerns about public transportation, predatory behavior, and DD riding the ride-on bus to MC /being amongst adult males as one reason that I would not consider the high school options and people on this forum scoffed at me. The world is often an unsafe place for women, particularly minor females.

Anonymous wrote:I was contemplating letting my current 6th grader ride metro bus next year. She’s in private but it stops outside her school and a block from our house.
I’ve been going thru scenarios in my head and one of them was to tell her to get off the bus if someone on the bus makes her uncomfortable. This is now making me realize I need to rethink that. She’ll have a phone and the ride is less than 10 mins.

Telling a kid to get off the bus is probably bad advice. The best advice would be for your kid to sit close to the operator and even talk to the operator. There are shields but they don’t block everything. Buses are also equipped with emergency buttons and emergency phones. And operators don’t want to be responsible for anything bad happening to your kid so they will intervene if they are aware. But operators cannot watch the road and the back of the bus at the same time.

OTOH, getting off a train when you’re uncomfortable is likely good advice. There is help available in the station.

Anonymous wrote:Please search and post the MCPD press release first

https://www2.montgomerycountymd.gov/mcgportalapps/Press_Detail_Pol.aspx?Item_ID=45093

Suspect is also a convicted teen rapist with a long rap sheet

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/man-accused-of-assaulting-teen-was-on-sex-offender-registry-woman-tried-to-intervene-before-attack/3595271/

Someone started to help but gave up when it got too inconvenient.

The Good Samaritan tried and was rejected. She did not give up because it got too inconvenient. The girl didn’t even commit to feeling unsafe. I don’t know what you expect should have been done.

Not blaming the victim. I try don’t think we prepare kids for situations like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was contemplating letting my current 6th grader ride metro bus next year. She’s in private but it stops outside her school and a block from our house.
I’ve been going thru scenarios in my head and one of them was to tell her to get off the bus if someone on the bus makes her uncomfortable. This is now making me realize I need to rethink that. She’ll have a phone and the ride is less than 10 mins.

You can stay on a call with your kid for the entirety of their bus ride.

And loudly say into the phone, “ok, dad are you already at the bus stop to pick me up?” The creeper needs to know someone is waiting for you.