Anonymous wrote:My friend has been having an EA with her supervisor for over a year and I have distanced myself from her. They take long, drinking lunches 2x a week. She tells me he spends $250/lunch most times. When they travel, they tack on an extra day to sightsee. She said they are rarely physical, except for making out and oral. I told her I do not want to hear about it because I think it is inappropriate. I think an EA can be just as damaging as a physical affair.

This is the same as the catholic girls not losing their virginity because all they did was have anal sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the difference from having a good friend of the opposite gender.

If you want to have sex with them, it's an emotional affair.

I’m in the midst of a very complicated emotional affair with Sydney Sweeney then.

I get affection I don't have in my marriage, so my friendship is an emotional affair of sorts. DH is a good guy, and I love him, but he is not warm or caring. With DH, even when we go on dates, he rarely focuses on what I want. In fact, I done think it occurs to him to consider. He leads and has fun; I follow. With my friend, much of it is about me: he remembers my preferences, he's interested in my work, he asked about my hobbies. From what I understand (we rarely discuss our spouses, if at all), he does not get much attention from his wife, and it matters for him that I ask about his FOO, friends, etc. Nothing physical happens, although we once held hands in a movie

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"do you hide this relationship from your spouse? If your spouse saw your interactions, would he/she be okay with it? If not, it’s an EA."

This. If you can't be completely open about it with your partner, or would change the way you interact with the other party if your partner were watching, it's an EA.

If it's already long hugs and touch, you're moving into actual physical affair territory. If you couldn't do it in front of your partner, or tell your partner the unedited truth about all of it, it's cheating.

Not sure that’s a good test of EA for spouses who aren’t the jealous type and would think nothing of it.

DH thought nothing of my EA but it was pretty serious to me.

So you wanted him to be upset?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has been having an EA with her supervisor for over a year and I have distanced myself from her. They take long, drinking lunches 2x a week. She tells me he spends $250/lunch most times. When they travel, they tack on an extra day to sightsee. She said they are rarely physical, except for making out and oral. I told her I do not want to hear about it because I think it is inappropriate. I think an EA can be just as damaging as a physical affair.

I would consider this a physical affair since there is some kind of sex involved.

I think this depends on what the definition of "is" is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"do you hide this relationship from your spouse? If your spouse saw your interactions, would he/she be okay with it? If not, it’s an EA."

This. If you can't be completely open about it with your partner, or would change the way you interact with the other party if your partner were watching, it's an EA.

If it's already long hugs and touch, you're moving into actual physical affair territory. If you couldn't do it in front of your partner, or tell your partner the unedited truth about all of it, it's cheating.

Not sure that’s a good test of EA for spouses who aren’t the jealous type and would think nothing of it.

DH thought nothing of my EA but it was pretty serious to me.

Anonymous wrote:My friend has been having an EA with her supervisor for over a year and I have distanced myself from her. They take long, drinking lunches 2x a week. She tells me he spends $250/lunch most times. When they travel, they tack on an extra day to sightsee. She said they are rarely physical, except for making out and oral. I told her I do not want to hear about it because I think it is inappropriate. I think an EA can be just as damaging as a physical affair.

I would consider this a physical affair since there is some kind of sex involved.

Anonymous wrote:My friend has been having an EA with her supervisor for over a year and I have distanced myself from her. They take long, drinking lunches 2x a week. She tells me he spends $250/lunch most times. When they travel, they tack on an extra day to sightsee. She said they are rarely physical, except for making out and oral. I told her I do not want to hear about it because I think it is inappropriate. I think an EA can be just as damaging as a physical affair.

your example is a physical affair and not EA if there's making out and oral.

My friend has been having an EA with her supervisor for over a year and I have distanced myself from her. They take long, drinking lunches 2x a week. She tells me he spends $250/lunch most times. When they travel, they tack on an extra day to sightsee. She said they are rarely physical, except for making out and oral. I told her I do not want to hear about it because I think it is inappropriate. I think an EA can be just as damaging as a physical affair.

EA is feeling close to someone you have long in depth conversations with about all aspects of life. You begin to think about them daily and fantasize about a romantic and physical relationship with them. Physicial intimacy is easy but emotional connection is a true ‘loving’ relationship that is difficult to get over.

PP +1. Exactly

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as having a "good friend" of the opposite sex. If you're in a relationship of any sort, that person should be your best friend. If they are not then you're not 100% into the relationship.

Any no, men cannot be friends with women they don't want to bang. That's just fact. There might be a .0000001% chance but it's a one off. Always assume if a guy and girl are friends, the guy wants the girl.

This is 2024, and your ideas are outdated. I'm in my mid-50s, happily married nearly 30 years to an awesome man, and still have very close, great friendships with several males - 2 since HS. All are also happily married (we went to their weddings and vice versa), and none of us has any interest in a physical relationship with anyone but the spouse we are married to.

Get over your old-fashioned self

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as having a "good friend" of the opposite sex. If you're in a relationship of any sort, that person should be your best friend. If they are not then you're not 100% into the relationship.

Any no, men cannot be friends with women they don't want to bang. That's just fact. There might be a .0000001% chance but it's a one off. Always assume if a guy and girl are friends, the guy wants the girl.

There is absolutely such a thing. I have a very good friend at work. We chat during the work day, then go home to our spouses. It just so happens that I'm male and she's female but our relationship wouldn't be any different if we were the same gender.

You gay?

I am not, and neither is she.

It means they really really really really really really like you.

If you’re not crossing any boundaries I don’t see a problem with it