OP, if you're still reading, here's a word of advice. Do not make up excuses. Be direct, and tell the person asking that hosting (and life in general) with small kids is exhausting and you will not be doing it anytime soon. You may have to be blunt about this over and over again b/c they need reminders.

We have a close family member who's childless and who just does not get how much work it is to parent and work full time jobs. So they have all these expectations of us that led to years of tension. Finally spouse had to have a come-to-Jesus talk about their expectations and how out of whack they were. Relative simply could not have imagined. They got a lot better, but from time to time still need a reminder b/c they haven't lived that life and they don't appreciate the challenges.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents day is in October. Idk why people try ri steal mothers day away from active duty moms

There is no such thing as active duty and retired.

Yes, there is. If you are a Pickleball Boomer retiree, sit down, STFU, it’s not about you. You get a card, maybe flowers, and a quick phone call. You should be supporting your adult daughters if they have young kids.

You should see someone about your anger problem.

You should see someone about your entitlement problem.

Entitled to what? OP said a relative who is not even a parent asked if she was hosting. Presumably its a sibling who wants to meet her baby and asked a simple question. And you're ranting about Boomer for what reason? Sorry your parents suck but you should really seek therapy. You're just a broken record screeching about boomers in every thread no matter the relevance.

Honey, follow along the thread of conversation. Follow along.

Babe, start your own thread to talk about your arrested development and mommy issues. Nobody cares about your parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents day is in October. Idk why people try ri steal mothers day away from active duty moms

There is no such thing as active duty and retired.

Yes, there is. If you are a Pickleball Boomer retiree, sit down, STFU, it’s not about you. You get a card, maybe flowers, and a quick phone call. You should be supporting your adult daughters if they have young kids.

You should see someone about your anger problem.

You should see someone about your entitlement problem.

Entitled to what? OP said a relative who is not even a parent asked if she was hosting. Presumably its a sibling who wants to meet her baby and asked a simple question. And you're ranting about Boomer for what reason? Sorry your parents suck but you should really seek therapy. You're just a broken record screeching about boomers in every thread no matter the relevance.

Honey, follow along the thread of conversation. Follow along.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents day is in October. Idk why people try ri steal mothers day away from active duty moms

Grandparents are mothers and fathers too. Its a requirement of the job.

OP here-the person who asked is not a parent. Their reasoning was that people want to meet the baby. I still don’t want to host, so I’m going to follow up and say we have other plans for that day with my husband’s family. I really shouldn’t have to come up with an excuse but oh well!

This is part of a larger problem in my family where default hosting duties fall to me, because I own a house and have a patio, large driveway, etc. but I don’t want this to be my role. Our house is small and not particularly well suited to this, and I’m the only one with small children. When I’ve said no in the past, I’ve gotten pushback about it and offers to “help” that really wouldn’t ease the burden at all.

Highlighted for those with limited reading abilities. OP said the asker is not a parent so why are people droning on about pickleball? Obviously this is her brother or sister who is the same age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents day is in October. Idk why people try ri steal mothers day away from active duty moms

There is no such thing as active duty and retired.

Yes, there is. If you are a Pickleball Boomer retiree, sit down, STFU, it’s not about you. You get a card, maybe flowers, and a quick phone call. You should be supporting your adult daughters if they have young kids.

You should see someone about your anger problem.

You should see someone about your entitlement problem.

Entitled to what? OP said a relative who is not even a parent asked if she was hosting. Presumably its a sibling who wants to meet her baby and asked a simple question. And you're ranting about Boomer for what reason? Sorry your parents suck but you should really seek therapy. You're just a broken record screeching about boomers in every thread no matter the relevance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents day is in October. Idk why people try ri steal mothers day away from active duty moms

There is no such thing as active duty and retired.

Yes, there is. If you are a Pickleball Boomer retiree, sit down, STFU, it’s not about you. You get a card, maybe flowers, and a quick phone call. You should be supporting your adult daughters if they have young kids.

You should see someone about your anger problem.

You should see someone about your entitlement problem.

I think it's ok to just say "we can't this year".

I am a mom too, and I get a say. If you don't want to host, do not host. If you want to spend it just your family, you can do that too.

When I am old I will always default to the mothers who are actively mothering on Mothers Day. I'll go to them, or just see them another time.

No one has to host Mother's Day, OP!

The expectation is merely to celebrate all mothers. It doesn't mean you need to clean your house, cook a meal, give presents, entertain guests, and clean up afterward. You can call your mother, send her a card, or arrange to meet somewhere to have a celebratory cup of tea, or walk somewhere together, etc... It can be VERY low-key. Or very fancy and lavish, if it makes both of you happy.

There are no rules. Just good intentions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents day is in October. Idk why people try ri steal mothers day away from active duty moms

There is no such thing as active duty and retired.

Yes, there is. If you are a Pickleball Boomer retiree, sit down, STFU, it’s not about you. You get a card, maybe flowers, and a quick phone call. You should be supporting your adult daughters if they have young kids.

That is a very specific put down

Extremely funny!

OP, say no. Say you have your hands more than full and as a mom yourself, you want to take it easy that day and not have people over. Be blunt.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect it, but I do think that if someone hosted last year it’s reasonable to check in and find out if they are planning something before planning your own.

This was my reaction. Did they request or just inquire?