Anonymous wrote:This is where I'd take the blame for my kid. If you're confident your daughter doesn't want to go, text the other mom back some versions, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry...somehow it didn't make it onto my calendar and I mixed up and double booked us for this afternoon, so DD won't be able to make it after all I really apologize, and I hope it goes great!"
Will the other mom be annoyed? Likely. but it doesn't sound like you and she are going to be helping coordinate a lot of joint plans going forward anyway.
I would not make my daughter go and I also would not respond until after the event. Your daughter should manage this as she sees fit. She can totally drop the ball or make up an excuse. If I were her, I would make up a migraine or something. You “were at an event and didn’t look at your phone until later.” No need for you to get involved.