Yes, we don't do sleepovers unless I know the parents.

No.

Anonymous wrote:If I know the responsible parent and have a good feeling yes - male or female.

On a separate note - why are you so sexist?

Do you think a penis makes someone a child molester?

I don't. I also don't store my nurturing abilities in my vagina.

No, but it makes it more likely. These are statistics, not gender assumptions. No one thinks all men are molesters. But many predators are men. It is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, trust your gut and go with it. Kids get upset with the decisions we as parents make. But in the end, it is our job as a parent to keep them safe.

I don’t even know enough to have an intuition about them. Never met the mom and barely saw the dad for a second, during which he seemed unpleasant. Being unpleasant doesn’t make him a molester and I really don’t have a gut feeling about him either. I just don’t like the situation. Anyway, DD is super upset but I am glad I stood my ground. DH thinks it’s not an issue that there could be an issue with the father but thinks the father won’t watch them and they’ll drink alcohol or take drugs, which I think is ridiculous and DD would never do it. So this is why I’m asking moms only because my own DH is so strange and can’t evaluate risks.

The chances of your kid drinking early are statistically higher than her being assaulted at a sleepover, I believe. So it actually seems like a proper evaluation of risk. And yes I am a mom.

My mom was a workaholic (who broke a lot of glass ceilings!) and in the 1990s pretty much none of my friends were allowed to sleepover (or even come over for play dates) because my dad was the default parent. It sucked.

So, I’d think about the kid here. As sad as it is, having a mom home doesn’t actually prevent child abuse and certainly not having a mom around doesn’t mean there’s a strong risk.

No way

I worry more about older brothers

These questions make me roll my eyes. I'll tell you who I trust!

ME! My judgement.

I talk to the dad a bit about the sleepover. U figure out how I feel about him. I feel he's a good guy? Sleepover it us!

What's up with this mom I know and trust and dad I don't know so don't know what to do? Are you an idiot? What made you trust mom? You got to know her yes? So get to know the dad! Duh. There's no magic 100% answer - there's just being the best mom you can and trusting yourself and having faith that all will be well 99.99% because truly, if you already know the mom and the friend is fine, why would you think this is done huge risk??

Anonymous wrote:Why is this a question addressed only at moms? Are fathers not capable of evaluating the risks?

What is your impression of that family? If they are trailer trash, I wouldn't let her sleep over even if the mom were present. If it is an educated, reputable family, I would let her sleep over.

Bwahahaha!

Former prosecutor here. If that’s your criteria, you are not protecting your kids. Plenty of child molesters in the upper class, poster.

Wasn’t there a whole thread here recently about the socialite wife of the federal judge who was plotting to molest a little girl?

Wake up. Your wealth doesn’t protect your kids.

If I knew the parent and had a good vibe, sure.

Anonymous wrote:you all are weird

ofc

Apparently you and I are the only moms who allow sleepovers. Can we be friends?

To the rest: you only hear about the monsters/molesters because that's what gets printed/goes viral. There are thousands, scratch that, millions of girls who have sleepovers with friends every weekend who never get molested. Who have a great time, giggle and watch movies and eat pizza, stay up late and come home cranky due to lack of sleep. And they are better for it

No, and especially not a new friend where I don't know the parents.

Anonymous wrote:The word “mom” is really transphobic, OP. The correct term is “birthing parent.”

Do better.

I am a mom who did not give birth.

You are an ass

This should be an easy no, OP.

If I know the responsible parent and have a good feeling yes - male or female.

On a separate note - why are you so sexist? Do you think a penis makes someone a child molester? I don't. I also don't store my nurturing abilities in my vagina.