Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 21:16     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself and do this for your kid!

Even if she has social anxiety?????


NP but especially if she has social anxiety! Because as you -- and your child -- get older, it will get harder. Treat this as exposure therapy; get more comfortable with it now.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 17:05     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
For the most part, I had my kids attend every party they were invited to because I know how I'd feel if no kids showed up to my kids' parties.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 17:03     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Just decline. Soon groups will start forming and their will be less whole class parties and more just my friends parties. By the time they’re in 6th grade you will be posting why doesn’t my 11 yo kid get invited to parties. It’s fine do what’s ok for you and your kid. No one will be upset or cry you’re not there.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:54     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Op, it’s completely fine to decline, just do it early and write something along the lines “thanks for the invite. Sorry, Johnny cannot make it, happy Birthday to Jack!”. It’s mainly your kid who will be missing out since he enjoys them but that’s between you and your kid.

Also, as others said, this is a problem that will resolve itself largely by 3rd grade.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:53     Subject: Re:Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it’s just about building relationships/friendships. We don’t have a gaming system at home either but if my kids play at a friends house it won’t kill them, same with a birthday party.

Also, OP, you might want to start preparing him for the reality of gaming, etc. being everywhere when he gets older. At these b-day parties you can see how he does around the stimulation. At the same time you can step in if you need to. Then with that information you can act accordingly as a parent. The electronic world is growing....


OP here - I already know he does not handle it well. We do allow a little bit of educational games (like the PBS Kids games app) on a table at home and he does not give it up willingly when time is up. It's addictive for him, no question.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:53     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Suggest the birthday parent adjust the entire party to fit YOUR needs and preferences. Maybe you could offer up your house.

That might come off as offensive and obnoxious.


Pp wasn’t being serious.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:52     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

her child may be an introvert, too.


OP here - he is definitely NOT an introvert. He's like the mayor of his class. When I initially asked if it was cruel to skip some parties, I meant is it cruel to my son. But we do have a conflict for one party coming up and I just told him he wouldn't be able to go, and he was ok with it.

This has been an interesting debate! I'm glad I asked the question.

Social introverts are social but recharge on their own or in small groups (like family). While being able to navigate socially well, they prefer small known groups. Sounds like this may be OP and OP's child's personality types.


It's very odd that you think you know OP's child's personality better than OP does.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:51     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Anonymous wrote:Suggest the birthday parent adjust the entire party to fit YOUR needs and preferences. Maybe you could offer up your house.

That might come off as offensive and obnoxious.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:50     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Anonymous wrote:If you have something else to do that’s a priority then it’s not rude to decline. If you don’t want to go just because it’s too far/dangerous/screens then yeah that’s kinda rude.
Be thankful your kid gets invited to so many. We were at a focus school in moco and got one or two invitations in K.

She could just decline. She doesn't need to give a reason.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:49     Subject: Re:Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it’s just about building relationships/friendships. We don’t have a gaming system at home either but if my kids play at a friends house it won’t kill them, same with a birthday party.

Also, OP, you might want to start preparing him for the reality of gaming, etc. being everywhere when he gets older. At these b-day parties you can see how he does around the stimulation. At the same time you can step in if you need to. Then with that information you can act accordingly as a parent. The electronic world is growing....
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:46     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if you don’t RSVP, otherwise it makes zero difference to the other family. If they’re inviting the whole class, then there will be tons of kids there to celebrate the birthday kid.

The only person it’s cruel towards is your son. He’ll be the one who will have to hear everyone else talking about the fun party that he had to skip to stay home and play checkers with mom.

her child may be an introvert, too.


OP here - he is definitely NOT an introvert. He's like the mayor of his class. When I initially asked if it was cruel to skip some parties, I meant is it cruel to my son. But we do have a conflict for one party coming up and I just told him he wouldn't be able to go, and he was ok with it.

This has been an interesting debate! I'm glad I asked the question.

Social introverts are social but recharge on their own or in small groups (like family). While being able to navigate socially well, they prefer small known groups. Sounds like this may be OP and OP's child's personality types.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:41     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Of course it’s not cruel to skip. We skip trampoline parks. But even though we don’t have video games at home, we go to those because video game parties won’t make their brains fall out.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:41     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
If you have something else to do that’s a priority then it’s not rude to decline. If you don’t want to go just because it’s too far/dangerous/screens then yeah that’s kinda rude.
Be thankful your kid gets invited to so many. We were at a focus school in moco and got one or two invitations in K.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:40     Subject: Re:Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Sometimes it’s just about building relationships/friendships. We don’t have a gaming system at home either but if my kids play at a friends house it won’t kill them, same with a birthday party.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2024 16:39     Subject: Birthday parties that we would rather skip
Suggest the birthday parent adjust the entire party to fit YOUR needs and preferences. Maybe you could offer up your house.