Give DD a choice between having the big bedroom or having “dominion” over the two smaller rooms, one as bedroom the other as personal playroom/guest room. If she picks the big bedroom, then your son gets that “dominion.” That will create much greater equality between siblings.

Of course, kids don’t really need two rooms, so you and your husband’s desired uses of the second small room can be accommodated as well, but when it comes to the siblings, the one who has the big bedroom should treat the second small room as part of their sibling’s personal space.

If it me as your DD, I think I would pick the two-room-suite option.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not OP, but I am stunned that anyone thinks OP isn't in the right. And DH is an ass for not fully supporting DW.

I actually don’t believe that you are “not OP”

NP. I think people who just constantly accuse random posters of being the OP should get a 24-hour ban. It is so f-ing annoying. PP is not the OP.

Are the two smaller bedrooms on the second floor?

Anonymous wrote:Is this a family or a princess and her court? Each CHILD gets a small room and the family shares the larger one.

This right here. I’m surprised by some of the comments on this thread. They are children. The adults make the decisions.

Im bothered by the “DD will remember and be angry” comments. Perhaps what will really happen is that DD will learn that the smaller room is sufficient and we don’t always get every whim handed to us.

Anonymous wrote:Is this a family or a princess and her court? Each CHILD gets a small room and the family shares the larger one.

Kids are allowed to have feelings and opinions in some families without being made to feel that they are doing something egotistical.

Your turn of words says more about how you were made to feel by your parents than anything about OP.

I’d frame in the outside door.

I say kids get the smaller rooms BUT they get a lot of control over decorating them; let her have all the new girly things she wants in her new bedroom.

Is this a family or a princess and her court? Each CHILD gets a small room and the family shares the larger one.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a family of five kids and we each got our turn in the big room. Guests can stay in a double bed. I 100% would give DD the bigger room with one caveat: get rid of that door! Way more concerned about who will come in vs her sneaking out, but both will happen with it intact regardless of what anyone thinks.

Another big fam here and seniority rules. He can have it when she goes to college. Younger kids totally get this OP. He's not going to be able to do the same things sissy does.

Tell her no and you will decorate the new room how she wants.

I grew up in a family of five kids and we each got our turn in the big room. Guests can stay in a double bed. I 100% would give DD the bigger room with one caveat: get rid of that door! Way more concerned about who will come in vs her sneaking out, but both will happen with it intact regardless of what anyone thinks.

Seriously if you didn't want this drama you should have stripped the room of the girly decor before your DD saw it.

Of course she's going to want. You may not be used to her growing up, considering how much weight you are giving to your 4 yo's future feelings (!!) I'd give it to her or she will remember you didn't.

Anonymous wrote:I am not OP, but I am stunned that anyone thinks OP isn't in the right. And DH is an ass for not fully supporting DW.

I mostly agree but I think it also depends on how often they have guests and if itd actually be used as a MPR. If so fine. If it mostly would be unused a poor
Use of space.

I also like the idea of her having it til 18 then younger brother gets it. Seal/ lock the door

Are you the STEPmom or the bio mom, OP.
Just asking because this reads a little like you are gatekeeping your DH from granting a request from his 9-year-old DD. The 4yo son is too young to care about this.

Anonymous wrote:If the kid wants out bad enough she’ll just use a window.

Off topic: if my kid wants to sneak out, their bedroom door goes bye-bye and the window gets bars.

I don’t believe in this “well kids are going to do what they want to do” kind of thinking.

Like no.. you’re an adult who owns the house and provides the kid resources.. (car, car insurance, allowance money, phone, etc—none of these are necessities. They’re privileges)

Honestly. Do you guys forget that you’re the parent—not a friend? Serious question for people who post this kind of stuff that implies they just “throw their hands up” at their kids acting out and disobeying.