Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 20:19     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Spanish-speakers have spoken to me in Spanish in stores numerous times. I don’t speak a lick of Spanish other than hola. I have dark hair and eyes, but I’m Persian-American.

I definitely don’t get offended. I wish I spoke more Spanish so I could actually reply.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 20:10     Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People used to always assume I was Jewish because my last name is one that in certain circles is nearly always Jewish but in my case is not. It didn't bother me, I just corrected them if I felt like it. Sometimes it was helpful...my first job out of college was at firm where all the top leadership was Jewish. Did their assumption help me in the recruiting process? No idea but it wouldn't have hurt. Also, when my non-Jewish friend married a Jewish man, his mother was pretty upset about the wedding. On the wedding day she asked me to be her MILs helper/handler for the day. I could tell MIL assumed I was Jewish and liked that her DIL at least had one Jewish friend. So, I did not correct that impression!

When I married I took my husband's name and moved my maiden name to the middle. I hadn't realized how often the Jewish question came up until people stopped making that assumption.


I have a Hebrew/Old Testament first name and a German last name. I grew up in an area with very few Jewish people and never thought about it much.
I briefly travelled for work each week to Long Island, Stamford, CT, and Princeton NJ. In all three places my coworkers and clients regularly assumed I was Jewish. They would invite me over for Sabbath and certain holidays. I did not find it offensive at all. I was in my 20s and single. It was mostly older clients who didn’t want me to feel lonely far away from home.


Similar with the names and grew up in an area with a large Jewish population. Also had "Jewish hair" according to all my Jewish friends. People always automatically assumed I was Jewish. I always laughed and took it as a compliment. I used to be envious of the big Jewish holidays and family gatherings.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 19:56     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
I'm Swedish and people always assume I'm Norwegian. But I don't really know the difference between the countries, having never traveled to either, so I'm not offended.

What offends me is when I tell people I'm from Minnesota and later they say "You're from Wisconsin, right?"
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 19:55     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
I had a coworker who was very upset if people thought she was Chinese, because she was Taiwanese
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 19:54     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Many many times people think I am Spanish because I speak with an accent, even though I am born in Boston. It is not up to me to correct them.

😂 And you just happened to give all of your children Hispanic names…


Sí.

🥒


What’s with the cucumber?


It's a joke about Hillary Lynn Hayward-Thomas, of Massachusetts.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 19:52     Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
I'm 100% Ashkenazi.
People think I'm Italian, Latina, sometimes Persian.
I'm not offended at all.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 17:45     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
I’m Australian and people often ask if I’m British. I don’t get too offended.

Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 17:23     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t bother me at all. Glad people are interested enough to find out.


This.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 17:10     Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:People used to always assume I was Jewish because my last name is one that in certain circles is nearly always Jewish but in my case is not. It didn't bother me, I just corrected them if I felt like it. Sometimes it was helpful...my first job out of college was at firm where all the top leadership was Jewish. Did their assumption help me in the recruiting process? No idea but it wouldn't have hurt. Also, when my non-Jewish friend married a Jewish man, his mother was pretty upset about the wedding. On the wedding day she asked me to be her MILs helper/handler for the day. I could tell MIL assumed I was Jewish and liked that her DIL at least had one Jewish friend. So, I did not correct that impression!

When I married I took my husband's name and moved my maiden name to the middle. I hadn't realized how often the Jewish question came up until people stopped making that assumption.


I have a friend who is not Jewish but has a German last name that is a common Jewish name. Living in NYC people who she didn't know very well would always tells her "shona tova," happy Hanukkah etc.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 16:52     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
When I used to live in NYC, I was frequently mistaken for being Hispanic (I'm South Indian). It was worse when I was in school because my closest friends were Hispanic, and their friends all assumed I was one too, and my friends assumed that they were Indian.

I was once waiting for a train in the subway, when a lady started speaking to me in Spanish. I said 'No habla espaniol', which was the extent of the Spanish I know. She gave me quite the lecture in English about respecting my heritage.

My daughter passes for white. I have seen her in some doctors' charts as white, and have fairly consistently been asked if she's maybe wasian. She said that most of the people that ask her directly, ask her if she's Middle Eastern. An occasional person might ask if she's Italian.

We're not really offended, by the way. Just find it amusing.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 15:14     Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
I only get offended when the timing is inappropriate. I've been in so many situations when I'd be out at bars and a man's way of hitting on me was to play "what are you". I dislike it strongly when it precedes general manners, such as "Hi I'm so-and-so how are you?"
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 15:11     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:The fact they are verbally guessing your nationality/race is rude and offensive.


This. Where is OP going that people are gawking and yelling out guesses?
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 15:09     Subject: Re:If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:People used to always assume I was Jewish because my last name is one that in certain circles is nearly always Jewish but in my case is not. It didn't bother me, I just corrected them if I felt like it. Sometimes it was helpful...my first job out of college was at firm where all the top leadership was Jewish. Did their assumption help me in the recruiting process? No idea but it wouldn't have hurt. Also, when my non-Jewish friend married a Jewish man, his mother was pretty upset about the wedding. On the wedding day she asked me to be her MILs helper/handler for the day. I could tell MIL assumed I was Jewish and liked that her DIL at least had one Jewish friend. So, I did not correct that impression!

When I married I took my husband's name and moved my maiden name to the middle. I hadn't realized how often the Jewish question came up until people stopped making that assumption.


I have a Hebrew/Old Testament first name and a German last name. I grew up in an area with very few Jewish people and never thought about it much.
I briefly travelled for work each week to Long Island, Stamford, CT, and Princeton NJ. In all three places my coworkers and clients regularly assumed I was Jewish. They would invite me over for Sabbath and certain holidays. I did not find it offensive at all. I was in my 20s and single. It was mostly older clients who didn’t want me to feel lonely far away from home.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 15:02     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Jewish people always assume I’m Jewish. I’m not offended. Life is too short.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2024 14:59     Subject: If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, because people are reasonable and when you tell them where you come from, they integrate it.

HOWEVER, I am the author of the thread about a staff member at my child's school who insists on assuming that every vaguely Asian-looking kid is Chinese. She doesn't even ask! She calls my daughter's friend "the Chinese girl", and has kept it up, asking my daughter whether they can talk to a Chinese exchange student under the assumption they share the same native language. She just doesn't seem to be all there, to be honest. After a year of this, the kids are getting irritated (none of them are of Chinese heritage).


I get that too (not Chinese, but similar situation) - it is irritating when people insist that you are something or someone you are not. ie: start talking to you like you are another (person of that background that they know), for example. If I tell you I am not that person or that background, it means I'm actually not.


Yes I’m mixed race/ethnically ambiguous and have on multiple occasions had people assume that I come from various unrelated cultures and flat out call me a liar/accuse me of denying or betraying “my heritage” when I correct them.