Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 18:23     Subject: Marrying for money
I didn't marry "rich" and wasn't looking to. But I also was not interested in marrying someone with no professional ambition or someone whose career was very low paying, like k-12 teaching. Sorry, just being honest.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 18:22     Subject: Re:Marrying for money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.


This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.


I am mid 40s. Most people I know met their spouses in their 30s. NOT their 20s.


If you are "b" team, you meet your spouse in your 30s, the "a" team roster is already filled.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 18:17     Subject: Re:Marrying for money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.


This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.


I am mid 40s. Most people I know met their spouses in their 30s. NOT their 20s.


I can only think of one couple I know that met in their 30s. Certainly many got married in 30s, but they were together since 20s.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:29     Subject: Re:Marrying for money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.


This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.


I am mid 40s. Most people I know met their spouses in their 30s. NOT their 20s.


2nd spouses?
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:28     Subject: Marrying for money
Anonymous wrote:I think what the original poster is asking about though is being strategic in who you befriend, etc. I remember my first week at Wellesley College. I was kind of a dork and had never even really been to a party. I got on the bus with everyone else to go to a frat party at MIT, but there were a couple girls in my dorm who got all dressed up and went to some function at Harvard Business School that their parents had apparently told them about and told them to go to. I remember it being expensive too. I can't quite picture what kind of a guy in his mid-twenties wants to go out with a seventeen year old from a small town who is a freshman in college, but a couple of these women now live in a really big houses. One of them got divorced and then married an even richer guy who is rumored to have killed his first wife, so I guess maybe marrying for money is somewhat risky. I just can't imagine being that strategic at the age of 17 or 18.


Well, a good parent makes sure that their 17 or 18 year old is smart in ALL ways, not just academically.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:28     Subject: Re:Marrying for money
Anonymous wrote:This is why most UMC parents care about sending their kids to an 'elite' college. The SES vetting is handled by admissions and there are higher chances for meeting and mating with the 'right' kind of partner.


I disagree with your statement. The parents have more confidence in their own kids. The hope for social mobility isn't in marrying well. It isn't even close to the top of the list as to why UMC parents want their kids to go to a top 5 type of college.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:26     Subject: Marrying for money
My first marriage was for potential money. ExH provided well for our family, but he was miserable to be around. Now I make enough that I don’t have to marry for love. My DH makes less than me, but is a dream in every way. It’s a better idea to make your own money - much larger dating pool and no settling due to needing a provider.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:26     Subject: Re:Marrying for money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.


This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.


A lot of good potential spouses also decide having a somewhat absent partner and not having real $$ for 10-15 years isn't worth it. It is reasonable for them to instead focus on the law partners and docs (and others) in their 40s who have better work-life balance and want to do things like travel and splurge now. People call out age gaps but I totally understand the thinking and the attraction well beyond just the $$. Why go through the suffering if you don't have to. You can still get a wonderful, supportive, and generous spouse who has already won the rat race many of your peers are just beginning. Those people who have been through that professional pressure for a while also often have a self-confidence that is great versus the constant uncertainty and imposter syndrome you see with early and mid-career professionals.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:22     Subject: Re:Marrying for money
This is why most UMC parents care about sending their kids to an 'elite' college. The SES vetting is handled by admissions and there are higher chances for meeting and mating with the 'right' kind of partner.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:18     Subject: Re:Marrying for money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.


This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.


I am mid 40s. Most people I know met their spouses in their 30s. NOT their 20s.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:17     Subject: Marrying for money
Yes. Now men do it, too.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 16:11     Subject: Re:Marrying for money
Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.


This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 15:49     Subject: Marrying for money
It is just as easy to marry rich as it is poor.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 15:47     Subject: Marrying for money
I think what the original poster is asking about though is being strategic in who you befriend, etc. I remember my first week at Wellesley College. I was kind of a dork and had never even really been to a party. I got on the bus with everyone else to go to a frat party at MIT, but there were a couple girls in my dorm who got all dressed up and went to some function at Harvard Business School that their parents had apparently told them about and told them to go to. I remember it being expensive too. I can't quite picture what kind of a guy in his mid-twenties wants to go out with a seventeen year old from a small town who is a freshman in college, but a couple of these women now live in a really big houses. One of them got divorced and then married an even richer guy who is rumored to have killed his first wife, so I guess maybe marrying for money is somewhat risky. I just can't imagine being that strategic at the age of 17 or 18.
Anonymous
Post 03/12/2024 15:42     Subject: Marrying for money
“To be born poor is nothing to be ashamed of. To marry poor is just plain stupidity.”

—my dad 🙄