My grandmothers lived past 90 and were huge blessings in my life. Both of them, very different, were full of wisdom, and I went to them over my mom when I needed advice. I love my mom but she's more judgmental, especially in my twenties. I hope I get that experience in life. Sadly, I had my kids a little latter, and it's less likely that I get to see my grandkids get married and have their own children, but it's very motivating to me to live a healthy life now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With young people postponing marriages and parenting, how many people in their 50's or 60's can now expect to see their grandchildren before cancer or dementia catches up?

I will. We are almost empty nesters and I am 48 (my youngest will be heading to college this year). They all talking about getting married young and to have children while they are still in their 20s.

There's the whole getting hit by a bus possibility for anyone.

My grandparents are as follows
Grandfather one dead 84 years
Grandfather two dead 70 years
Grandma one dead 51 years
Grandmas two dead 48 years

In total I only met my grandmothers a grand total of 7 days in my life and last time I saw any of them was when I was 8. Never met the grandfathers.

My father is dead since I was 16 and my mother dead 22 years my kids don’t know then. Maybe been to their grave 2-3 times

That’s normal

My mom’s parents were 40 and 45 when they had her. My dad’s parents were 29 and 31 when then had him. My parents were 37 (dad) and 32 (mom) when they has me. My mom’s dad died when I was 3 but the rest all lived into their 90s and were still around when I graduated college. My maternal grandmother, who lived near us and I was closest to, even met the man I eventually married.

My mom was 35 when first child was born (unusual for the 1960s I think) and my sister and I had kids in our early to mid-30s. My mom always said she hoped to live long enough to see her grandchildren graduate from HS/go to college/launch into the world. That seems like a reasonable milestone.

So, for OP, I think it is definitely reasonable to expect to meet any grandchildren born, but the days of having a great-grandparent alive are probably diminishing.

I have no grandchildren and will not have.

So amazingly sad, never imagined that I would not. But, it is out of my control.

Both of my mother’s parents were alive and in good health for my wedding. My grandfather met both of my kids and went from healthy and walking 2 miles a day to dead from cancer in a month, when they were 2 and 4. My grandmother died 12 years later when they were teens. When my son graduates from college in May, all 4 of his grandparents (who are healthy) will be there. His HS graduation was cancelled because of COVID, so I am incredibly thankful. DD’s HS graduation in 2022, after the COVID virtual learning and lockdowns and separation was wonderful.

My mom had be at 25. I had my kids at 27 & 29 (law degree and three years of marriage and practice under my belt before having kids. And lived in the South, where it was not unusual). My son will graduate from college before I’m 50. His sister two years later when I am 51. So, I hope to not just be alive to meet grandkids, but to see them grow up and even be at their weddings and meet great grandkids. I have good genetics, but know that it’s a crap shoot.

That’s if my kids choose to have children. And when they are ready. I’ve had my run at parenthood, and feel good about my choices. I want my kids to make their choices based on the lives they want to lead, not my desire for grandkids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? My kids are 8, 6 and 4. My father is 75. My mother died at age 47 when I was 20.

Random anecdote, not statistically helpful.

Who knows the statistics? Not PP here.

Anonymous wrote:Why is it always about "meeting your grandkids"?

I'd rather my children be well adjusted and have their own children when they are ready. Not when they are 22 just so I get to spend more time with them.

This. I do, of course, want to meet my kids' kids, if they have them. But I want even more for them to have kids when they are ready. I had them at 36 and 38. If they each do the same, I'd be 72 when the first is born and 76 when the last is born. Certainly could not expect to be at their weddings, but meeting them, I'd hope so.

Anonymous wrote:Meet them? Most. See them graduate high school? Less.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I was 21 when my oldest was born. She was 29 when she had her first. Assuming her first gets married at 25, which obviously is young, I’d be 75 at the wedding.

So it can’t be all that often that grandparents are at their kids weddings, can it be?

+1

My grandmother had my mom at 22 and my mom had me at 29. My grandmother didn’t come to either my wedding or my sister’s because she didn’t ever want to leave her assisted living facility 🤣. So having kids young won’t guarantee anything.

^ (who I am not)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord what a self absorbed way to think.

Want to “see your grandkids” as a life goal? Set your kids up so that the well documented barriers to having children young don’t impact them— buy them a house, make sure they don’t have college debt, pay for a nanny. That will maximize (but not guarantee) your chances.

You are the self absorbed person here.

You are hell bent about not making your point so you disregard others’ concerns.

PP isn’t “hell bent,” she calmly stated her pov which makes a lot of sense. It may be human nature to have kids and want to see the next generation, but it’s a very self absorbed and selfish desire. Sometimes you need to put aside your base desires for the good of your kids and your relationship with them, and not pester them to give you grandkids and help them out financially with a house DP, student debt, etc.

And to to the other PP bragging about her kid buying her own house. If you can afford to help out your kid financially why wouldn’t you? I know many wealthy people who are professionally successful and had significant help with down payments, college contributions, etc from their parents. They’re already doing well but the extra help pushed them to a higher level of financial success.

Op (who is not I) is just bringing up a point. S/he is not saying anything else.

Stop projecting!