Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 20:02     Subject: How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Anonymous wrote:Rachel Freier has 7, and she's a judge


An anomaly.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 20:02     Subject: Re:How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney with two kids. I would say it depends on the job and the type of law. Can you compartmentalize and stop thinking about work the minute you are off? I think that would be hard to do as a litigator but it is doable in some government legal jobs. Do you want to enjoy your kids' childhood? Attorneys with enough income can hire help and outsource a ton and can make it work, but these moms are ok not being involved in the details of childhood. If you are ok with that and have the income, go for it. If not and you want to actually spend time with each child and be involved, then you have to decide kids vs career. Women cannot have it all.


You can have all that you want. It's just about timing.


No you can’t. Something will get pushed to the side. I am a professional that misses many of my (2) kids events. I feel guilt but can’t have it all, so I choose career over more kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 19:59     Subject: Re:How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney with two kids. I would say it depends on the job and the type of law. Can you compartmentalize and stop thinking about work the minute you are off? I think that would be hard to do as a litigator but it is doable in some government legal jobs. Do you want to enjoy your kids' childhood? Attorneys with enough income can hire help and outsource a ton and can make it work, but these moms are ok not being involved in the details of childhood. If you are ok with that and have the income, go for it. If not and you want to actually spend time with each child and be involved, then you have to decide kids vs career. Women cannot have it all.


+1 women are Not men. You choose.


Men cannot have it all either.


Yes they can. They can prioritize careers with no judgment and a family. It’s usually the woman that is giving up her career… Please do not push your feminist agenda. You know exactly what I am saying.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 17:50     Subject: How many kids is feasible for female atty?
I have friends who are biglaw attorneys who happily have 4-5 kids.

Meanwhile, I have government lawyer job (demanding hours, but not like private practice) and only 1 kid and most days it's more than enough for me.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 15:11     Subject: How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Rachel Freier has 7, and she's a judge
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 15:10     Subject: How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Anonymous wrote:I think you are looking at this question all wrong. Ask yourself how many kids you truly want to have. Then find that career path that supports this.


This.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 14:17     Subject: Re:How many kids is feasible for female atty?
My friend is a Big Law partner with three kids, but her DH has a flexible job and she made partner before having kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 14:09     Subject: Re:How many kids is feasible for female atty?
I have 3 but to each his / her own.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 13:48     Subject: Re:How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Anonymous wrote:I’m a female attorney working a full time and fairly demanding in-house job (I.e. not just 9-5). DH has a demanding full time job too. We have 2 kids and family around to help as needed. It’s hard but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love having 2 kids and I know that they will grow up and things will get easier and to me the hard work is worth it.

If you are questioning whether 2 kids is worth it, it may not be. You have to really want it.


Bolded is the key statement here. If you have reliable, family members to help out whenever, that's HUGE step up for any family where both parents work FT. To achieve that type of support with just $$$ to throw at it you would need daycare + a FT nanny (you can't get a good, consistent PT nanny to just fill in non-daycare hours because they will either be looking for something FT or have another job/responsibilities that you will need to compete with).
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 12:41     Subject: How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Anonymous wrote:This is a fake post



Yup . Complete with sock puppet replies about women having to choose. There's been a definite uptick for n these kind o threads the last week
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 12:35     Subject: How many kids is feasible for female atty?
I have two. That is enough for me!! Most of my friends who are lawyers also have two but I don't think that has much to do with being a lawyer, per se. More that they are working moms, live in a high COL area, know what they can handle, got started post-35, etc.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 11:14     Subject: How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Anonymous wrote:Just being an attorney doesn't tell us anything about the demands of your work. There are lots of different jobs with different levels of pressure.

But really it doesn't matter: you should have the number you want and can comfortably handle while still working. I'm an attorney with an only child. Most of my peers with similar jobs have either none or two. But one was best for me.


I'm an attorney and your question doesn't make any sense, sorry.

I know a number of fed attorneys with 3 kids. Work life balance is manageable.

I also know women in biglaw (of counsel) with 3 kids. They can pay for a lot of outsourcing.

I have 2 kids and it's not related to my job.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 11:12     Subject: Re:How many kids is feasible for female atty?
This depends entirely on how much you make, what kind of law, family support, and more.

I know attorneys with five or six kids. All seem to be doing well. But there is a vast difference in quality and just plain organization of life between, for instance, a DOJ tax attorney, an in-house patent counsel for Genentech, a securities litigation partner at Skadden, and a tenant’s rights attorney working at a non-profit. All are attorneys but lead vastly different lives.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 10:56     Subject: How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Zero, one or two

That’s it. Those are the three options that aren’t guaranteed to lead to divorce or quitting your job.
Anonymous
Post 02/29/2024 10:51     Subject: Re:How many kids is feasible for female atty?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a female attorney working a full time and fairly demanding in-house job (I.e. not just 9-5). DH has a demanding full time job too. We have 2 kids and family around to help as needed. It’s hard but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love having 2 kids and I know that they will grow up and things will get easier and to me the hard work is worth it.

If you are questioning whether 2 kids is worth it, it may not be. You have to really want it.


Everyone has a demanding job.


I intentionally don’t have a demanding job.