Anonymous
02/28/2024 19:47
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What kind of information are you looking for?
I am turning 40 and my husband is 52. Our 3 kids are in elementary school.
Are you worried about your age difference?
That is too much of an age difference.
No it's not.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 16:00
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Have you noticed that OP has given absolutely no additional details? We don’t even know if OP is the 40 year old mom or 50 year old dad.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 15:29
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
50's tend to open pandora's box of health issues for a significant percentage of population so its a bigger risk, however if both parents are healthy and affluent, it may work. Baldwin had like half a dozen, he must be in his 60's?
Anonymous
02/28/2024 15:17
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:It's fine. One of my friends is mid fifties and her dh is 90 and filthy rich. Still has a couple kids in college. I wouldn't do it but it works for them.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 17:20
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:You know what, OP? It's freaking awesome.
Being an older parent is great. I'm calmer, more patient, and I understand more about myself and others. My marriage is in a mature, understanding place. I think it's harder to be older when kids are little (under 5 is hard on older parents with older bodies and older energy levels). But you outsource what you can. Also, we only had one kid, and that was a huge help.
But then as your kid gets older (ours is 8) I think the extra age and wisdom, and greater financial stability, only helps. I'd much rather parent a tween in my late 40s than my late 30s (or, as my parents did, their late 20s -- what a mess). I look forward to being a mom in her 50s during my child's teenage years. I feel like we don't stress so much about college as other parents seem to, whether it's paying for it or getting into the "right" college or whatever. DH and I both have college degrees and I have a professional degree, but we've been around long enough to know people from all kinds of schools and educational backgrounds who did well in life, and to understand it's not about going to the best school or even getting the best grades. It's about understanding yourself and what you want, and living intentionally with your goals and values in mind. I did not understand that in my younger iterations.
So that's my advice. It's great. Lean into what is great about it. The stuff that's harder, look for help and hire it if you need to. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't not go back and have children earlier. Obviously I'm lucky to have been able to have a child later in life, but if it works out, I think it's secretly better than having them younger, especially as your kids get older and gain the benefit of older, wiser, more established parents.
Great bit on the gap lifestyle for that first kid and the later kids...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl793YI9E88
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:38
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
You know what, OP? It's freaking awesome.
Being an older parent is great. I'm calmer, more patient, and I understand more about myself and others. My marriage is in a mature, understanding place. I think it's harder to be older when kids are little (under 5 is hard on older parents with older bodies and older energy levels). But you outsource what you can. Also, we only had one kid, and that was a huge help.
But then as your kid gets older (ours is 8) I think the extra age and wisdom, and greater financial stability, only helps. I'd much rather parent a tween in my late 40s than my late 30s (or, as my parents did, their late 20s -- what a mess). I look forward to being a mom in her 50s during my child's teenage years. I feel like we don't stress so much about college as other parents seem to, whether it's paying for it or getting into the "right" college or whatever. DH and I both have college degrees and I have a professional degree, but we've been around long enough to know people from all kinds of schools and educational backgrounds who did well in life, and to understand it's not about going to the best school or even getting the best grades. It's about understanding yourself and what you want, and living intentionally with your goals and values in mind. I did not understand that in my younger iterations.
So that's my advice. It's great. Lean into what is great about it. The stuff that's harder, look for help and hire it if you need to. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't not go back and have children earlier. Obviously I'm lucky to have been able to have a child later in life, but if it works out, I think it's secretly better than having them younger, especially as your kids get older and gain the benefit of older, wiser, more established parents.
Being an older parent is great. I'm calmer, more patient, and I understand more about myself and others. My marriage is in a mature, understanding place. I think it's harder to be older when kids are little (under 5 is hard on older parents with older bodies and older energy levels). But you outsource what you can. Also, we only had one kid, and that was a huge help.
But then as your kid gets older (ours is 8) I think the extra age and wisdom, and greater financial stability, only helps. I'd much rather parent a tween in my late 40s than my late 30s (or, as my parents did, their late 20s -- what a mess). I look forward to being a mom in her 50s during my child's teenage years. I feel like we don't stress so much about college as other parents seem to, whether it's paying for it or getting into the "right" college or whatever. DH and I both have college degrees and I have a professional degree, but we've been around long enough to know people from all kinds of schools and educational backgrounds who did well in life, and to understand it's not about going to the best school or even getting the best grades. It's about understanding yourself and what you want, and living intentionally with your goals and values in mind. I did not understand that in my younger iterations.
So that's my advice. It's great. Lean into what is great about it. The stuff that's harder, look for help and hire it if you need to. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't not go back and have children earlier. Obviously I'm lucky to have been able to have a child later in life, but if it works out, I think it's secretly better than having them younger, especially as your kids get older and gain the benefit of older, wiser, more established parents.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:24
Subject: Re:Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm 43, DH is 51, DC is 5. We live a life like anyone else. Not sure what any issues would be that other families might not have?
Is he tired often? Are you. Middle age does a number on our bodies.
He can’t get it up
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:24
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:It's fine. One of my friends is mid fifties and her dh is 90 and filthy rich. Still has a couple kids in college. I wouldn't do it but it works for them.
🤮
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:17
Subject: Re:Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm 43, DH is 51, DC is 5. We live a life like anyone else. Not sure what any issues would be that other families might not have?
Is he tired often? Are you. Middle age does a number on our bodies.
What is your agenda here, troll? Why do you care so much about other folks' family lives?
Dp. These people who call any and everything that they don’t like a “troll.” That would make you a troll bc someone isn’t going to like what you say.
You’re a troll, I’m a troll, my neighbor is a troll, my sister’s husband’s colleague is a troll, my dog-sitter is a troll, the lady in church 3 seats behind me is a troll, the check out clerk at Safeway is a troll.
Gaslighting at its finest. Have you not read this thread? PP is right. Normal people can see that.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:08
Subject: Re:Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm 43, DH is 51, DC is 5. We live a life like anyone else. Not sure what any issues would be that other families might not have?
Is he tired often? Are you. Middle age does a number on our bodies.
What is your agenda here, troll? Why do you care so much about other folks' family lives?
Dp. These people who call any and everything that they don’t like a “troll.” That would make you a troll bc someone isn’t going to like what you say.
You’re a troll, I’m a troll, my neighbor is a troll, my sister’s husband’s colleague is a troll, my dog-sitter is a troll, the lady in church 3 seats behind me is a troll, the check out clerk at Safeway is a troll.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:05
Subject: Re:Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm 43, DH is 51, DC is 5. We live a life like anyone else. Not sure what any issues would be that other families might not have?
Is he tired often? Are you. Middle age does a number on our bodies.
What is your agenda here, troll? Why do you care so much about other folks' family lives?
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:04
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:It's fine. One of my friends is mid fifties and her dh is 90 and filthy rich. Still has a couple kids in college. I wouldn't do it but it works for them.
I know she is just waiting for him ro croak. No other reason for that age gap.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:03
Subject: Re:Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:I'm 43, DH is 51, DC is 5. We live a life like anyone else. Not sure what any issues would be that other families might not have?
Is he tired often? Are you. Middle age does a number on our bodies.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:00
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
It's fine. One of my friends is mid fifties and her dh is 90 and filthy rich. Still has a couple kids in college. I wouldn't do it but it works for them.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 16:00
Subject: Father in 50's, Mother in 40's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What kind of information are you looking for?
I am turning 40 and my husband is 52. Our 3 kids are in elementary school.
Are you worried about your age difference?
That is too much of an age difference.
Really? Says who? You?
Says anyone with half a brain.
Okay! You do you! We are perfectly happy with an amazing life and 3 beautiful and smart kids! We have plenty of money to send them to private schools, give them great vacations, pay for all the help we need, etc.
DH is also very athletic and runs marathons and ironman…
Also, we have plenty of brains!
None of those things makes the age difference closer. It is still in appropriate and really gross.
We're you a teenage mom?
Sounds like you didn't get much education
No, but you had to be a teenage mom by marrying someone much older.
My DH is only one year older but okay, win for you.
I was not a teenage mom but okay, win for you.
Not so sure about that