Anonymous wrote:Likely he doesn't think there need to be A Plan. You won't be happy with the result, even if the kids get fed, something.

Anonymous wrote:If food is getting made, and people are getting fed, yes, your request is unreasonable. If you want to manage the project, manage the project. If you want him to handle it, let him handle it.

Maybe you can be responsible for making sure there are healthy snacks available, if hangriness is an issue? That way, you'll always have something/know it's there, and he can make meals in a way that works for him.

If meals aren't getting made, that's a different issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP, you are being really unreasonable. It is FINE if your kids eat fruit as a snack, even if they "fill up" before dinner. Dinner for small kids (like, 2rd grade and under) is often more grazing than anything.

It is also fine if, together, you decide that kids should eat at 5:30 and adults eat later. But recognize that you're then asking your husband to prepare TWO meals a day.

My best suggestion to you is to FULLY ABSENT yourself (stay at work) until dinner is on the table. Let husband deal with cranky kids and then, if he's unhappy, he can adjust his process as he thinks is appropriate. If you are hangry at 5:30 that is your own fault - eat a string cheese.

OP here- I hear you but this is also pretty much the only hour I have to spend time with my kids - we start bedtime around 7 which is pretty much immediately after dinner so it's not the best to spend quality time when kids are hungry. Usually they still complain they're hungry after a small snack but we'll try it.

You’re being super rigid

Ok, sure, whatever. I'm sorry it's so rigid to think an adult could spend a little time thinking ahead so kids don't come home and spend an hour hungry. I guess I'll just do it all myself like most women do.

DP. It's not reasonable to expect your kids to walk in the door to dinner already on the table. Give them a clementine and a cheesestick while your husband preps dinner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are being really unreasonable. It is FINE if your kids eat fruit as a snack, even if they "fill up" before dinner. Dinner for small kids (like, 2rd grade and under) is often more grazing than anything.

It is also fine if, together, you decide that kids should eat at 5:30 and adults eat later. But recognize that you're then asking your husband to prepare TWO meals a day.

My best suggestion to you is to FULLY ABSENT yourself (stay at work) until dinner is on the table. Let husband deal with cranky kids and then, if he's unhappy, he can adjust his process as he thinks is appropriate. If you are hangry at 5:30 that is your own fault - eat a string cheese.

OP here- I hear you but this is also pretty much the only hour I have to spend time with my kids - we start bedtime around 7 which is pretty much immediately after dinner so it's not the best to spend quality time when kids are hungry. Usually they still complain they're hungry after a small snack but we'll try it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are being really unreasonable. It is FINE if your kids eat fruit as a snack, even if they "fill up" before dinner. Dinner for small kids (like, 2rd grade and under) is often more grazing than anything.

It is also fine if, together, you decide that kids should eat at 5:30 and adults eat later. But recognize that you're then asking your husband to prepare TWO meals a day.

My best suggestion to you is to FULLY ABSENT yourself (stay at work) until dinner is on the table. Let husband deal with cranky kids and then, if he's unhappy, he can adjust his process as he thinks is appropriate. If you are hangry at 5:30 that is your own fault - eat a string cheese.

OP here- I hear you but this is also pretty much the only hour I have to spend time with my kids - we start bedtime around 7 which is pretty much immediately after dinner so it's not the best to spend quality time when kids are hungry. Usually they still complain they're hungry after a small snack but we'll try it.

You’re being super rigid

Ok, sure, whatever. I'm sorry it's so rigid to think an adult could spend a little time thinking ahead so kids don't come home and spend an hour hungry. I guess I'll just do it all myself like most women do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- part of the problem is spouse prefers "fresh" food so is not open to making something the night before or over the weekend, etc. and is not overly fond of prepared foods. I've suggested meal kits but again spouse doesn't like the regimentedness. Spouse does "get food on the table" but usually around 6:30 while kids (prek and early elementary) get home around 5-5:30 starving (spouse does pickup). This makes that hour of the day stressful to me. I could of course feed snacks but then they tend to refuse to eat dinner.

What time do you get home? If you were in spouse's shoes, what time would you have dinner on the table?

As far as making things on the weekend, it should not be an issue for him to make something ahead that you and the kids will eat. He doesn't have to eat it, if he prefers fresh food, but his job is to feed the family.

OP here- ideally I'd have dinner ready pretty close to when the kids get home at 5:30. I understand this would either mean no cooking- e.g. a grocery store rotisserie chicken and premade cornbread (but I would have this in the fridge ready to go rather than driving hungry kids to the grocery store), or else I would make something simple earlier in the day that could be reheated (we both work from home).

Is it a possibility to have him feed the kids at 5:30 and then you guys eat an adult dinner later? I liked PPs' ideas of having meatballs and things handy for the kids, or your husband could whip up something fast for them that they like.

Yes, this could be an option- I could ask spouse to just have simple kids food ready as soon as possible and I'm fine stocking up on Trader Joe's meals for myself. I feel like with a little planning we could do better than this and eat all together but maybe it's just not possible given the parameters.

I am the poster above a few posts who suggested putting out veggies and fruit. Don’t put out enough fruit that anyone can fill up. Put out enough raw veggies your anti-veg kid might be tempted. If they are really hungry they will eat a sliced cucumber or carrot.

Eating a family dinner together is really important to me and my family. Separate meals is not healthy and your DH still won’t have time to cook a fresh meal. Eating frozen crap from TJ’s is not good modeling for your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- part of the problem is spouse prefers "fresh" food so is not open to making something the night before or over the weekend, etc. and is not overly fond of prepared foods. I've suggested meal kits but again spouse doesn't like the regimentedness. Spouse does "get food on the table" but usually around 6:30 while kids (prek and early elementary) get home around 5-5:30 starving (spouse does pickup). This makes that hour of the day stressful to me. I could of course feed snacks but then they tend to refuse to eat dinner.

What time do you get home? If you were in spouse's shoes, what time would you have dinner on the table?

As far as making things on the weekend, it should not be an issue for him to make something ahead that you and the kids will eat. He doesn't have to eat it, if he prefers fresh food, but his job is to feed the family.

OP here- ideally I'd have dinner ready pretty close to when the kids get home at 5:30. I understand this would either mean no cooking- e.g. a grocery store rotisserie chicken and premade cornbread (but I would have this in the fridge ready to go rather than driving hungry kids to the grocery store), or else I would make something simple earlier in the day that could be reheated (we both work from home).

Is it a possibility to have him feed the kids at 5:30 and then you guys eat an adult dinner later? I liked PPs' ideas of having meatballs and things handy for the kids, or your husband could whip up something fast for them that they like.

Yes, this could be an option- I could ask spouse to just have simple kids food ready as soon as possible and I'm fine stocking up on Trader Joe's meals for myself. I feel like with a little planning we could do better than this and eat all together but maybe it's just not possible given the parameters.

Assuming dinner is the biggest meal you deal with, what if your spouse dropped the kids off in the morning and you picked them up in the evening? Then instead of driving to get them they could work on dinner?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- part of the problem is spouse prefers "fresh" food so is not open to making something the night before or over the weekend, etc. and is not overly fond of prepared foods. I've suggested meal kits but again spouse doesn't like the regimentedness. Spouse does "get food on the table" but usually around 6:30 while kids (prek and early elementary) get home around 5-5:30 starving (spouse does pickup). This makes that hour of the day stressful to me. I could of course feed snacks but then they tend to refuse to eat dinner.

What time do you get home? If you were in spouse's shoes, what time would you have dinner on the table?

As far as making things on the weekend, it should not be an issue for him to make something ahead that you and the kids will eat. He doesn't have to eat it, if he prefers fresh food, but his job is to feed the family.

OP here- ideally I'd have dinner ready pretty close to when the kids get home at 5:30. I understand this would either mean no cooking- e.g. a grocery store rotisserie chicken and premade cornbread (but I would have this in the fridge ready to go rather than driving hungry kids to the grocery store), or else I would make something simple earlier in the day that could be reheated (we both work from home).

Is it a possibility to have him feed the kids at 5:30 and then you guys eat an adult dinner later? I liked PPs' ideas of having meatballs and things handy for the kids, or your husband could whip up something fast for them that they like.

Yes, this could be an option- I could ask spouse to just have simple kids food ready as soon as possible and I'm fine stocking up on Trader Joe's meals for myself. I feel like with a little planning we could do better than this and eat all together but maybe it's just not possible given the parameters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- part of the problem is spouse prefers "fresh" food so is not open to making something the night before or over the weekend, etc. and is not overly fond of prepared foods. I've suggested meal kits but again spouse doesn't like the regimentedness. Spouse does "get food on the table" but usually around 6:30 while kids (prek and early elementary) get home around 5-5:30 starving (spouse does pickup). This makes that hour of the day stressful to me. I could of course feed snacks but then they tend to refuse to eat dinner.

What time do you get home? If you were in spouse's shoes, what time would you have dinner on the table?

As far as making things on the weekend, it should not be an issue for him to make something ahead that you and the kids will eat. He doesn't have to eat it, if he prefers fresh food, but his job is to feed the family.

OP here- ideally I'd have dinner ready pretty close to when the kids get home at 5:30. I understand this would either mean no cooking- e.g. a grocery store rotisserie chicken and premade cornbread (but I would have this in the fridge ready to go rather than driving hungry kids to the grocery store), or else I would make something simple earlier in the day that could be reheated (we both work from home).

Is it a possibility to have him feed the kids at 5:30 and then you guys eat an adult dinner later? I liked PPs' ideas of having meatballs and things handy for the kids, or your husband could whip up something fast for them that they like.

Yes, this could be an option- I could ask spouse to just have simple kids food ready as soon as possible and I'm fine stocking up on Trader Joe's meals for myself. I feel like with a little planning we could do better than this and eat all together but maybe it's just not possible given the parameters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are being really unreasonable. It is FINE if your kids eat fruit as a snack, even if they "fill up" before dinner. Dinner for small kids (like, 2rd grade and under) is often more grazing than anything.

It is also fine if, together, you decide that kids should eat at 5:30 and adults eat later. But recognize that you're then asking your husband to prepare TWO meals a day.

My best suggestion to you is to FULLY ABSENT yourself (stay at work) until dinner is on the table. Let husband deal with cranky kids and then, if he's unhappy, he can adjust his process as he thinks is appropriate. If you are hangry at 5:30 that is your own fault - eat a string cheese.

OP here- I hear you but this is also pretty much the only hour I have to spend time with my kids - we start bedtime around 7 which is pretty much immediately after dinner so it's not the best to spend quality time when kids are hungry. Usually they still complain they're hungry after a small snack but we'll try it.

You’re being super rigid