Anonymous wrote:I would go for a third in your situation. I am the middle child of three and am so happy that my parents had my younger sister.

Anonymous wrote:I would not have another kid in your situation for 2 reasons: 1) I think both parents should enthusiastically desire to have a child before trying to conceive. If your husband doesn’t want another kid and just goes along w it to appease you, that seems like it could lead to resentment and a disconnect between you and your DH down the road. I have seen this dynamic play out in a few of my friends/relatives’ families and 2x it has led to divorce. 2) you already have a kid w special needs who will likely need more time/attention/support down the road. What if your 3rd child also has special needs or health issues? Too big a risk to take. You said your kids are young so maybe you’re betting that they’ll get easier as they get older but often kids DO NOT get easier as they get older, especially if they have special needs. A lot of parents of young kids think once the kids are older, STTN, potty trained, etc it’ll magically be easier to be parents but for us it was the opposite: our kids have gotten more challenging as they age. Bigger kids, bigger problems and more expensive and challenging issues that come up.

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a clear “no” to me

Anonymous wrote:We have two young kids. We’re in our mid and late thirties. Dh is happy to stop having kids, I mostly want one more (though am not jazzed about getting pregnant or nursing again, and still carrying weight from previous two pregnancies so I don’t feel my healthiest.)

Anyway dh says that he prefers not have more kids, but doesn’t want me to resent him. He “consents.” I essentially have to choose between what he wants and what I want/think is best for our family.

Dh is just past doing the night feedings and diaper changing etc. he likes to travel which would be harder short-term, and more expensive perpetually with three.

We have one child of each gender so not about that.

One of our children (son) does have some mild special needs (adhd). We have healthy ivf embryos remaining (all female). I think having another child would be good for our family, and that having a sister would hopefully be nice for our daughter long-term.

We can afford another child in terms of college savings etc. we plan on private school and two is definitely more affordable in that sense.

On the one hand, it’s nixe to be past the infant stage, but on the other, I feel like a third child is in my heart and this would be the time to go for it.

Wwyd?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the youngest of three and generally not a fan of the three sibling dynamic. It can lead to a two vs one dynamic and unfortunately I’m usually the one.

I’m oldest of three and agree. Two were/are always fighting. Travel as a family of 5 is annoying because hotels are set up for four people in a room. As the oldest, I was always made to sleep on the floor because my parents wouldn’t spring for a larger room or roll away. And we traveled a LOT!

Anonymous wrote:I would not have another kid in your situation for 2 reasons: 1) I think both parents should enthusiastically desire to have a child before trying to conceive. If your husband doesn’t want another kid and just goes along w it to appease you, that seems like it could lead to resentment and a disconnect between you and your DH down the road. I have seen this dynamic play out in a few of my friends/relatives’ families and 2x it has led to divorce. 2) you already have a kid w special needs who will likely need more time/attention/support down the road. What if your 3rd child also has special needs or health issues? Too big a risk to take. You said your kids are young so maybe you’re betting that they’ll get easier as they get older but often kids DO NOT get easier as they get older, especially if they have special needs. A lot of parents of young kids think once the kids are older, STTN, potty trained, etc it’ll magically be easier to be parents but for us it was the opposite: our kids have gotten more challenging as they age. Bigger kids, bigger problems and more expensive and challenging issues that come up.

Anonymous wrote:We have two young kids. We’re in our mid and late thirties. Dh is happy to stop having kids, I mostly want one more (though am not jazzed about getting pregnant or nursing again, and still carrying weight from previous two pregnancies so I don’t feel my healthiest.)

Anyway dh says that he prefers not have more kids, but doesn’t want me to resent him. He “consents.” I essentially have to choose between what he wants and what I want/think is best for our family.

Dh is just past doing the night feedings and diaper changing etc. he likes to travel which would be harder short-term, and more expensive perpetually with three.

We have one child of each gender so not about that.

One of our children (son) does have some mild special needs (adhd). We have healthy ivf embryos remaining (all female). I think having another child would be good for our family, and that having a sister would hopefully be nice for our daughter long-term.

We can afford another child in terms of college savings etc. we plan on private school and two is definitely more affordable in that sense.

On the one hand, it’s nixe to be past the infant stage, but on the other, I feel like a third child is in my heart and this would be the time to go for it.

Wwyd?