Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre and gross to me. Why are you encouraging your child to do this?

I’m not OP, but in my case I’m not encouraging it, but I’m also not forbidding it. My parents forbade dating, and my response was to date and lie to them about it. My daughter, on the other hand, talks to me about boys and dating and feels comfortable asking me for advice. She’s never alone with the kid and the big excitement last week was that she hugged him.

When I was 13 (way back in the late 80s) kids in my grade were “dating.” It’s not a new thing.

I'm in Ashburn and none of the kids are "dating" this young. There is a lot of hanging out in groups and maybe a trip or two to the Ice House with a parent or the movies. Studies show this is not a good thing to be encouraging.

Ewww.

The trends are quite clear that young people are dating less, get in relationships less, marry less and later in life, and have fewer children. For my own child I can see there’s definitely less interaction with the opposite sex compared to when I was growing up, and I don’t even mean in the romantic sense.

For whatever reasons, screens, games, social norms, social networks etc young people date less. OP is right to educate her daughter how to navigate this aspect of life. The clutching pearl idiots in the thread are interpreting this as the mother facilitating the daughters dating. The same idiots will be shocked their child don’t have the basic skills to find a partner later in life because they don’t know how to be a good partner or have a warped vision of what a relationship entails.

You should educate your child about sex, friendship, relationships etc, at age appropriate level. That doesn’t mean the academics will suffer or same sex friends will be neglected. On the contrary it’s part of growing and becoming an adult.

Anonymous wrote:I was in middle school going to the skating rink and school dances and there was plenty of dating and kissing.


You moms are so strange. It’s perfectly normal. The sad part is now the kids just do it all on their phones

I feel like there is no middle of the road here. It’s either moms overly involved and facilitating their 7th graders dating (which to me sends the message “you are only cool/worthy if you have a boyfriend” at least to girls) or they are these weird “my kid won’t date in high school at all” strict types (totally unrealistic…plus I do think dating a little as a teen is good for them if in balance)

My high school junior and pretty much all of her girl friends are dating or have, but seems like a lot of the boys aren’t. But the boys she’s friends with who do date always have a girlfriend, which is interesting, most were early daters too. The girls will take longer gaps between. I guess that’s how the math plays out lol

Does she have money saved up to be dating? Not sure what kind of dates a 13 year old can afford.

I was in middle school going to the skating rink and school dances and there was plenty of dating and kissing.


You moms are so strange. It’s perfectly normal. The sad part is now the kids just do it all on their phones

Nowhere. Young teens don’t go on dates. Let the kids be kids and stop pressuring.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so odd.

OP's kid does not have female friends and she is encouraging her to have a dating life at age 13.
OP, you should be doing things to assist your daughter with developing friendship, not a love life.


This is one of the more bizarre posts I've read on DCUM, to be honest.

Well they do live in Loudoun. That might explain it.

OP and I'm honestly curious to know what the problems are with Loudoun. It's one of the better areas around here, great schools, great communities.

A lot of people look down on Loudoun because until the recent explosion of the Indian population, the schools had lower test scores than Fairfax or Moco but we had no Farms students. There is some correlation between poorer students (Farms - related to free meals ) and lower scores. Loudoun schools had lower scores but no immigrants to blame for them. I assume since the explosion of other immigrants, the scores are up where people expect them to be.

Most people felt parents in Loudoun didn't care about academics and were only focused on their kids playing sports and being popular. Op seems to fit the demographic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre and gross to me. Why are you encouraging your child to do this?

I’m not OP, but in my case I’m not encouraging it, but I’m also not forbidding it. My parents forbade dating, and my response was to date and lie to them about it. My daughter, on the other hand, talks to me about boys and dating and feels comfortable asking me for advice. She’s never alone with the kid and the big excitement last week was that she hugged him.

When I was 13 (way back in the late 80s) kids in my grade were “dating.” It’s not a new thing.

I'm in Ashburn and none of the kids are "dating" this young. There is a lot of hanging out in groups and maybe a trip or two to the Ice House with a parent or the movies. Studies show this is not a good thing to be encouraging.

I’d be very curious to see a link to those studies you’re talking about.

Anonymous wrote:I'm fifteen and have been friends with my boyfriend for about a year, and we js started dating two weeks ago, we have gone to the mall, and text a lot, but it's important to take things slow, as this is why I believe I will stay with him till marriage, because the relationship is age appropriate and monitored closely by my parents. I won't sleep with him till i'm married, and in time I may kiss/hold his hand, but waiting is important.

Oh honey, just no….high school relationships rarely last.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre and gross to me. Why are you encouraging your child to do this?

I’m not OP, but in my case I’m not encouraging it, but I’m also not forbidding it. My parents forbade dating, and my response was to date and lie to them about it. My daughter, on the other hand, talks to me about boys and dating and feels comfortable asking me for advice. She’s never alone with the kid and the big excitement last week was that she hugged him.

When I was 13 (way back in the late 80s) kids in my grade were “dating.” It’s not a new thing.

I'm in Ashburn and none of the kids are "dating" this young. There is a lot of hanging out in groups and maybe a trip or two to the Ice House with a parent or the movies. Studies show this is not a good thing to be encouraging.

What you’re describing is what kids think of as “dating”.

The kids who dated for real at 13 (and not just texting, holding hands at school, breaking up 3 weeks later kinda “dating” typical in middle school) I know - are at 16/17 now in relationships I would definitely classify as codependent. And the girls especially are the ones that go from one boy to another and seem to lack a personal identity outside of whoever they are dating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre and gross to me. Why are you encouraging your child to do this?

I’m not OP, but in my case I’m not encouraging it, but I’m also not forbidding it. My parents forbade dating, and my response was to date and lie to them about it. My daughter, on the other hand, talks to me about boys and dating and feels comfortable asking me for advice. She’s never alone with the kid and the big excitement last week was that she hugged him.

When I was 13 (way back in the late 80s) kids in my grade were “dating.” It’s not a new thing.

I'm in Ashburn and none of the kids are "dating" this young. There is a lot of hanging out in groups and maybe a trip or two to the Ice House with a parent or the movies. Studies show this is not a good thing to be encouraging.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most young teens aren't dating. I think 13 is too young to be dating.

OP didn’t ask you Karen

And a lot of teens are dating and it’s perfectly normal.

Np. You and op are from Mississippi aren't you.

This is gross. Op is way too into this.

Anonymous wrote:Most young teens aren't dating. I think 13 is too young to be dating.

+100

Op you're more excited about this than your kid. Y'all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again and this isn't a discussion on whether I let her date or not, I just need help in supporting my daughter with this. Some of these suggestions are great.

You don’t get to dictate the responses people give. If you think they’re not of use to you, just ignore.

DP, at the same time people that don’t want to answer the question asked could just scroll past the thread and ignore.