Anonymous
02/28/2024 10:29
Subject: If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:Not quite the same, but my parents left the area where they grew up and raised me after 60+ years and moved close to me. They know literally everyone back home and they started from scratch here.
My mom volunteers at the library and for her church’s welcome committee. My dad plays pick up pickle ball at the YMCA. My mom joined a few book clubs and finally settled on one as her favorite. My dad joined a civil war history group. They joined a winery and go to see live music.
They literally started their lives over from scratch by putting themselves out there. If someone they knew said “Oh my cousin’s best friend lives in Virginia, you should meet up” they made the coffee date. Some things panned out and others fizzled. It probably took them 2 years to really establish roots.
+1. We did this when we up and moved 1000 miles for new jobs, but also had kids age 7-11. We socialized in waves- new school friends work networking, old friends, friends of friends.
Some places are very friendly and easy to do this. DC was because people are always coming/going and you find out fast if they’re open or friendly. Midwest was even easier as everyone was interests in the new people and would come up with 3-5 other people to meet, proactively. It’s been like they want to help you and want you to like it there (it’s fine here!).
But really, like many things in life, you stay for the people. Not the sports team or topography (do miss it!).
Anonymous
02/28/2024 09:36
Subject: Re:If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Going on 5 blissful years of divorce. I travel more for work, have great friends, visit my adult kids and grands, etc. Could not be happier.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 09:32
Subject: If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: Well, I shop, vacation and hang out with dd as our schedules permit. I travel to visit adult dc also. I am involved a lot at church, which I really enjoy (as does dd). Plus, sometimes I just need to rest!
I have aging parents nearby so that takes up a lot of time-I'm glad I'm available and wish it was more (I work full time with a commute).
I'm never lonely or bored. I defenitely want to be an involved grandma when the kids have kids and will arrange my retirement situation around their needs and desires.
OP here. It's wonderful that you still spend a lot of time with your DD! That's my hope, too.
OP you sound suffocating. Back off and get a life outside your daughter or you will driver her away.
Make friends you can spend time with
Anonymous
02/28/2024 09:25
Subject: If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Not quite the same, but my parents left the area where they grew up and raised me after 60+ years and moved close to me. They know literally everyone back home and they started from scratch here.
My mom volunteers at the library and for her church’s welcome committee. My dad plays pick up pickle ball at the YMCA. My mom joined a few book clubs and finally settled on one as her favorite. My dad joined a civil war history group. They joined a winery and go to see live music.
They literally started their lives over from scratch by putting themselves out there. If someone they knew said “Oh my cousin’s best friend lives in Virginia, you should meet up” they made the coffee date. Some things panned out and others fizzled. It probably took them 2 years to really establish roots.
My mom volunteers at the library and for her church’s welcome committee. My dad plays pick up pickle ball at the YMCA. My mom joined a few book clubs and finally settled on one as her favorite. My dad joined a civil war history group. They joined a winery and go to see live music.
They literally started their lives over from scratch by putting themselves out there. If someone they knew said “Oh my cousin’s best friend lives in Virginia, you should meet up” they made the coffee date. Some things panned out and others fizzled. It probably took them 2 years to really establish roots.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 09:18
Subject: Re:If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:My plan is to throw myself into work.
My empty nest is coming at the same time as retirement. And I was never married...so I understand how OP feels.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 09:13
Subject: Re:If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:I think you start forming a network now. Join a book club, join a gym, reach out your dd’s friends moms and do coffee or lunch, start a neighborhood mom game night, etc.
I agree with this. It's what I'm doing. I'm finding it hard to fill the weekends, though. My weeknights are packed, but the weekends not so much. However, I'm busy enough during the week that I'm (mostly) okay with relaxed (boring) weekends.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 19:51
Subject: Re:If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:I have a ton of friends and a boyfriend.
Are you married?
Anonymous
02/26/2024 19:23
Subject: Re:If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Recently a friend's washer broke, and she brought all her laundry to my house... she walked in and was like... why is your house so clean... I was like... because my cleaner came ..... 3 WEEKS AGO.
lol!
Huh?
With a slob husband and two kids whose rules never get enforced unless I’m around, the weekly clean gets undone rather quickly…
Coffee grounds on counter, dishes not put away, packaging left out for all the see, shoes everywhere, crumbs everywhere (h works from home most of the time), wet towels (h and D1 have adhd), clothing in piles.
I know ! A divorced empty nester = clean house
Empty nest and married=clean house for us. It's our boys that make the messes. My husband is a neat freak.
My ex had newpapers (yes the physical one) , magainzes, dog toys, books and unfinished projects all over the house.
Our dog puts his toys back in his toy box.
Anonymous
02/26/2024 19:23
Subject: Re:If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Recently a friend's washer broke, and she brought all her laundry to my house... she walked in and was like... why is your house so clean... I was like... because my cleaner came ..... 3 WEEKS AGO.
lol!
Huh?
With a slob husband and two kids whose rules never get enforced unless I’m around, the weekly clean gets undone rather quickly…
Coffee grounds on counter, dishes not put away, packaging left out for all the see, shoes everywhere, crumbs everywhere (h works from home most of the time), wet towels (h and D1 have adhd), clothing in piles.
I know ! A divorced empty nester = clean house
Empty nest and married=clean house for us. It's our boys that make the messes. My husband is a neat freak.
Our dog puts his toys back in his toy box.
My ex had newpapers (yes the physical one) , magainzes, dog toys, books and unfinished projects all over the house.
Anonymous
02/26/2024 18:43
Subject: Re:If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
I'm a lot like Jay on Modern Family so I'll be spending my time with my young hot wife and my new kids.
Anonymous
02/26/2024 17:25
Subject: If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:Books and cats.
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
You are MY people!
Ha!
Anonymous
02/26/2024 15:08
Subject: Re:If you are divorced/separated/ in an unhappy marriage, who are you going to hang out with when the kids leave the home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Recently a friend's washer broke, and she brought all her laundry to my house... she walked in and was like... why is your house so clean... I was like... because my cleaner came ..... 3 WEEKS AGO.
lol!
Huh?
With a slob husband and two kids whose rules never get enforced unless I’m around, the weekly clean gets undone rather quickly…
Coffee grounds on counter, dishes not put away, packaging left out for all the see, shoes everywhere, crumbs everywhere (h works from home most of the time), wet towels (h and D1 have adhd), clothing in piles.
I know ! A divorced empty nester = clean house
Empty nest and married=clean house for us. It's our boys that make the messes. My husband is a neat freak.
My ex had newpapers (yes the physical one) , magainzes, dog toys, books and unfinished projects all over the house.