Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:56     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My bosses would be 100% fine with this!

I do think you should wait until you start, but otherwise, grabbing coffee with workmates or using it as networking is totally normal. I feel like there are a lot of people on here without real jobs?


You contradict yourself. First you say your boss would be fine with it but then recommend op to wait.

I don't think that's much of a contradiction. I think it's fine to reach out to your boss to go for a coffee. I also think that because OP doesnt start for quite a while, that it would be better to wait until s/he's actually started (or is close to).

My bosses do love this though. They think it shows initiative blah blah.

So you did contradict yourself.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:55     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:It's probably better to find out now, whether you work for a psycho who would think less of you for sending a friendly invite to meet up. Working for that person would be hell, always walking on eggshells in fear of what trivial things would set them off.


Good lord! Now you’re making up ridiculous nonsense. Now the boss is a “psycho” if she thinks less of op. And she would have to walk on eggshells in fear.
Give us a break. You’re the psycho with your dramatics. You’re acting exactly the way you are describing the silly scenario you made up.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:52     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so odd to me. I for one wouldn’t take a job, even 100% remote, without meeting anyone in person.


Do you think they are just fake internet people otherwise?


It is a common identity theft / banking fraud scam.


There are jobs like that, but there's also plenty of legitimate fully remote jobs and interviews. Would you turn down FAANG or a federal government job because the interview was remote?
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:51     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People seem very uptight. I think you could reach out shortly before you start and ask if there is anything you should connect on before your start date. Say you are happy to talk on phone or could meet for a quick coffee in person. I think you will just seem excited about the job and ready to hit the ground running.

When I changed jobs, my new manager reached out to me about getting lunch before I started bc we live in the same town (though it's a mostly remote job). We talked about work + non-work stuff and it was nice.


It comes off a little like love bombing. The op should not do this. If her future boss wanted to meet, she would ask to do so.


I think offering to meet up is totally fine. I would just say you'd be glad to be available for a call or to meet in person. Let your boss decide what type of meeting it will be and pick the location if its in person. I led a medium sized team and did occasionally meet new staff in person before starting, especially if they were relocating for the job and were new to the area. I tended to do the same type of outing for new staff, so would want to be the person to pick where and what type of meet up.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:48     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:baffled by the quick and blunt "no" chorus.


Think about what kind of person spends all day trolling web forums, and how that person feels about face to face human contact.

The idea that a boss would be opposed to having a face to face conversation with a future employee, and more, be offended by the invitation, to the point of rescinding the offer of employment, is insane.

Or SAHPs who havent worked in a long while. Or retirees who havent worked in a long while.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:47     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
I guess it comes down to whether you are going to work at a place where people use the term "subordinate". I never have and never will.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:46     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:I don't have a "real" job like all of you so I am wondering about all of these rules about the hierarchy. I do understand that "subordinates" would not typically socialize with managers because they are being evaluated by them but doesn't this happen all the time? I am always hearing from people that they are "friends with their boss."

So which is it? And can't two people have coffee without it being weird, even when one person is the boss?


Yes all of us with our real jobs hanging out on DCUM at work. Are you surprised we would never do anything to draw our boss's attention?
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:44     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
It's probably better to find out now, whether you work for a psycho who would think less of you for sending a friendly invite to meet up. Working for that person would be hell, always walking on eggshells in fear of what trivial things would set them off.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:42     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
I don't have a "real" job like all of you so I am wondering about all of these rules about the hierarchy. I do understand that "subordinates" would not typically socialize with managers because they are being evaluated by them but doesn't this happen all the time? I am always hearing from people that they are "friends with their boss."

So which is it? And can't two people have coffee without it being weird, even when one person is the boss?
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:41     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:baffled by the quick and blunt "no" chorus.


+1

C Suite reporting that this is not the slightest bit weird, but the paranoid responses here absolutely are.


Shooting the breeze online is what C Suite people do, midweek afternoon?
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:41     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:I'd wait until after you've started and have a rapport with this person. Then I think suggesting you meet for a business lunch or coffee would be fine.


This. Your idea is not crazy like others are suggesting but in fact perfectly normal. But wait until after you starr.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:39     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:baffled by the quick and blunt "no" chorus.


Think about what kind of person spends all day trolling web forums, and how that person feels about face to face human contact.

The idea that a boss would be opposed to having a face to face conversation with a future employee, and more, be offended by the invitation, to the point of rescinding the offer of employment, is insane.


Who said that her boss would rescind the offer of employment. No one said that.


Homework assignment: find the 3 comments in this thread that highlighted that supposed risk.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:39     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My bosses would be 100% fine with this!

I do think you should wait until you start, but otherwise, grabbing coffee with workmates or using it as networking is totally normal. I feel like there are a lot of people on here without real jobs?


You contradict yourself. First you say your boss would be fine with it but then recommend op to wait.

I don't think that's much of a contradiction. I think it's fine to reach out to your boss to go for a coffee. I also think that because OP doesnt start for quite a while, that it would be better to wait until s/he's actually started (or is close to).

My bosses do love this though. They think it shows initiative blah blah.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:39     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
All the employees are remote and all interviews were virtual. Op should not contact her 2 month away boss to meet. If she wanted to meet, she would have asked and op should not have taken the offer if she is bothered by not meeting.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2024 16:36     Subject: Would it be weird to ask future boss to grab coffee before start date?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:baffled by the quick and blunt "no" chorus.


+1

C Suite reporting that this is not the slightest bit weird, but the paranoid responses here absolutely are.


Because you don’t agree with something doesn’t make it paranoid. It actually indicates you are paranoid of others not agreeing with what you believe.