Anonymous wrote:As someone who grew up watching my father cheat over and over again on my mom and then eventually the other women he married or dated all after up until he is now old, alone and in diapers - some men are cheaters. They like the thrill, they like women, and they hate or don’t have what it takes to be truly loyal to a partner. That’s it. It’s not you, it’s them. They have a pattern and you need to figure out why you are attracted to cheaters, how to spot one, and then believe you deserve better. Best of luck!

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my 50s, hes in his 60s.

When does this ever end?

Anonymous wrote:Just close your eyes and rest if you can't sleep. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Please try to be kind to yourself. It's so hard to digest this kind of information, but please take care of yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you to the PPs who have weighed in with encouragement. I don't feel so hot right now. I feel so devastated that I'm not sure what to do with myself. I called in sick. I don't have anyone I can talk to. It took a long time to find someone I trusted again. This hurts a lot. I feel sick.

It does hurt. Take some Tylenol, it will give you a small amount of relief temporarily.

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my 50s, hes in his 60s.

When does this ever end?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel better---narc cheaters tend to pick 'high value' women as the 'main' piece/wife/significant other. The women are empathetic, very attractive, successful, highly desirable, basically all the qualities anyone could want. This is to reflect back on them. If they can get a main piece like this--they must be very high value themselves.

No, this is honestly one of the stupidest things I've read on here. If cheaters are attracted to anything, it's simps. People who exhibit signs of low self-esteem. People like that more likely to ignore red flags and signs of cheating, as well as make excuses for the infidelity and try to stay in the relationship.

People who have high self-esteem don't put up with cheating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel better---narc cheaters tend to pick 'high value' women as the 'main' piece/wife/significant other. The women are empathetic, very attractive, successful, highly desirable, basically all the qualities anyone could want. This is to reflect back on them. If they can get a main piece like this--they must be very high value themselves.

No, this is honestly one of the stupidest things I've read on here. If cheaters are attracted to anything, it's simps. People who exhibit signs of low self-esteem. People like that more likely to ignore red flags and signs of cheating, as well as make excuses for the infidelity and try to stay in the relationship.

People who have high self-esteem don't put up with cheating.

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel better---narc cheaters tend to pick 'high value' women as the 'main' piece/wife/significant other. The women are empathetic, very attractive, successful, highly desirable, basically all the qualities anyone could want. This is to reflect back on them. If they can get a main piece like this--they must be very high value themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 60 and cheating? What in the hell?

Yeah. With other women in our age range - 50s-60s. I’ve seen the texts and pics. Someone else he was seeing sent them all to me. I feel very stupid and very hurt and the irony is I really love him, I fell in love again after heart broken by my ex and now it feels like it’s being broken again. I’ve read some threads on cheating and everyone says not to blame yourself, but it’s hard not to wonder what it is that’s wrong with me that men who I’m supposedly in monogamous, loving relationships with cheat. It hurts. I’ve never quite felt like this - I feel frozen, numb and sick.

If it makes you feel better---narc cheaters tend to pick 'high value' women as the 'main' piece/wife/significant other. The women are empathetic, very attractive, successful, highly desirable, basically all the qualities anyone could want. This is to reflect back on them. If they can get a main piece like this--they must be very high value themselves.

That’s quite the story you’re telling us.

One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists only look for emotionally dependent partners who lack confidence and self-esteem. In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women.

While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity. What appears to be an overabundance of self-assurance is actually a protective wall designed to block the narcissist from acknowledging his own insecurity and lack of self-confidence.

[/b]Narcissists often feel safe with strong partners as they have always struggled with a consistent parent figure. When you take charge, manage life effectively, and create your own success, this becomes a draw for the narcissist. Coupling this with your ability to show empathy and kindness creates a natural magnet for the narcissist who desperately wants to have those characteristics.[b]

read here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202106/why-strong-women-and-narcissists-attract-each-other#:~:text=In%20fact%2C%20narcissists%20are%20often,a%20mask%20for%20deep%20insecurity.