Anonymous wrote:Same here OP although I have no plans to ever even date again because I’m so happy alone. My ex and I are both low drama people and we have a calm, friendly coparenting relationship. It’s so much better than the bad, tense marriage we were trapped in.

Anonymous wrote: I'm another one who is very happy these days! I have a full life, my kids are happy and thriving-accoriding to them and to the professionals at school/ect. I don't care about the opinion of angry divorce kid poster. I'm not dating and do not plan to, I'm a bit older than pps in this thread.

I get along reasonably well with the ex, we co parent pretty well and he doesnt annoy me too much now that I'm not stuck with him lol. He has a gf that the kids like well enough. She doesn't live with him but when she's around he does things like cleans his house and buys groceries, so that's good for the kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Watching a few post-divorce lives play out over the years, my anecdotal sense is that there is a burst of exciting energy and then it's a return to the grind of life.

I'm not saying the divorce was a bad idea. These people had relationships that weren't exactly horrible, but they weren't good and I'm not sure how fixable they would have been with any amount of effort. The women, in particular, went through a stretch where the novelty of new guys, not having to deal with the old guys, etc. was really energizing. But, after a year or two, they mostly stopped dating and the reduced income became a drag.

Yep. Seen this play out several times recently in my neighborhood when the wife instigated the divorce in order to play the field or was caught cheating. A year or so later, the loss of income and middle age with baggage isn't attracting the men they thought it would and they look beaten down.

On the flip side, a few women who had devastating things ---husband ran off with someone else, got someone else pregnant, abusive situations, etc...these women are thriving. I have seen a few in healthy new long term relationships or just really top of their game in their careers and social lives.

That could be more a result of the type of 'person' and a little bit of karma mixed in. Those that are just chasing the next thing and never happy so they keep pursuing new relationship energy, material things, etc. will never be happy. They will go back to their base level of misery and blame the 'person' or situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go read Lyz Lenz's book that comes out today. This American Ex-Wife.

Congrats on rebuilding your life. My parents split, and I think seeing them both find happiness was really empowering for me. I choose my husband more carefully than they did, but I also know that if my relationship isn't serving me, I can move on and be ok.

I saw the wapo article with her. Maggie Smith also wrote a divorce memoir. There is a shift.

Anonymous wrote:At CPAC they just said they are coming for divorces.

Meaning women will not be able to divorce men.

IF you vote Republican you are an idiot.

Anonymous wrote:I love how every bad marriage has at least one narcissist. That’s a lot. I am staying home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is at the crossroads of divorce but too chicken to do it, this post is so encouraging. The unknown of divorce is so daunting but this post gives me hope that so many are finding happiness in the aftermath.

Having recently been unceremoniously dumped after a long marriage, this post helps me, too. I didn’t want the divorce, but am hoping for some sort of phoenix from the ashes situation once I glue myself back together. Kintsugi or something.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is at the crossroads of divorce but too chicken to do it, this post is so encouraging. The unknown of divorce is so daunting but this post gives me hope that so many are finding happiness in the aftermath.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Watching a few post-divorce lives play out over the years, my anecdotal sense is that there is a burst of exciting energy and then it's a return to the grind of life.

I'm not saying the divorce was a bad idea. These people had relationships that weren't exactly horrible, but they weren't good and I'm not sure how fixable they would have been with any amount of effort. The women, in particular, went through a stretch where the novelty of new guys, not having to deal with the old guys, etc. was really energizing. But, after a year or two, they mostly stopped dating and the reduced income became a drag.

Yep. Seen this play out several times recently in my neighborhood when the wife instigated the divorce in order to play the field or was caught cheating. A year or so later, the loss of income and middle age with baggage isn't attracting the men they thought it would and they look beaten down.

On the flip side, a few women who had devastating things ---husband ran off with someone else, got someone else pregnant, abusive situations, etc...these women are thriving. I have seen a few in healthy new long term relationships or just really top of their game in their careers and social lives.

That could be more a result of the type of 'person' and a little bit of karma mixed in. Those that are just chasing the next thing and never happy so they keep pursuing new relationship energy, material things, etc. will never be happy. They will go back to their base level of misery and blame the 'person' or situation.

Anonymous wrote:Watching a few post-divorce lives play out over the years, my anecdotal sense is that there is a burst of exciting energy and then it's a return to the grind of life.

I'm not saying the divorce was a bad idea. These people had relationships that weren't exactly horrible, but they weren't good and I'm not sure how fixable they would have been with any amount of effort. The women, in particular, went through a stretch where the novelty of new guys, not having to deal with the old guys, etc. was really energizing. But, after a year or two, they mostly stopped dating and the reduced income became a drag.