Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 09:21     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Man here.

If this happened to me, I would not go. It's a huge slap in the face to my marriage to not invite my wife, and my marriage is the most important thing in my life.

I would first confirm this wasn't just a mistake, but then would RSVP no
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 09:02     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.


OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.


Now it becomes more clear why you weren't invited. No. People can invite or not invite anyone they like to their celebrations. You and your spouse are not conjoined twins.


Absolutely NOT true. You do not get to invite one of a married couple. Period.

OP you have a husband problem if he is hiding it from you and willing to go without you.


You do not get to invite one half of a married couple to a social event, but a courthouse wedding isn't that -- it's a legal and personal milestone. If there's a lunch or dinner afterwards, OP should be invited to that.

Cosign the people saying she has a husband problem and the people saying he has a wife problem, because he shouldn't have hidden this from her, but given her reaction, I understand why he did, and why she's not invited.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 08:41     Subject: Re:Crash a wedding?
I'd spend the time filing for divorce instead. Seriously, how could you be married to someone who would keep that from you? What on earth?
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 08:36     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.


OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.


Now it becomes more clear why you weren't invited. No. People can invite or not invite anyone they like to their celebrations. You and your spouse are not conjoined twins.


Absolutely NOT true. You do not get to invite one of a married couple. Period.

OP you have a husband problem if he is hiding it from you and willing to go without you.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 08:35     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.


OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.


Devout Catholics don't have courthouse ceremonies.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 08:26     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SIL is getting married, she invited my spouse (her sibling) but not me. I found out by accident, spouse is hiding this from me. Its a small courthouse ceremony with half a dozen people. SIL was my bridesmaid 10 years ago, but there have been beefs since. My spouse claims he wants harmony between everybody, but is a people pleaser when it comes to family of origin. He doesnt know that i know. Do I crash the wedding?


Other ppl said it too: it’s a 6 person list. 4 parents and 2 siblings. 3 ppl per spouse.

It sucks for you, but don’t take it personally if the number of people is so limited. Not sure why they didn’t tell you, but maybe because they knew you’d get upset.


I agree with all but this. I don't think OP wants to go, I think OP is mad she wasn't invited and is rolling that into some dramatic claim about being separated from her husband. And if her head, after finding out, goes to some Jerry Springeresque - Do I crash the wedding? - I think it's pretty clear why her DH was trying to keep it from her.

Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 02:33     Subject: Crash a wedding?
If you’re a family unit, your husband will decline the invitation without his spouse, no action required on your part.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2024 23:58     Subject: Re:Crash a wedding?
Crash the wedding, it's your husband and I don't think for a second I would be okay with my in law going a shady action like this. I wouldn't step in the photos but I'll be damned if I'm not there on my husband's arm.

The people on here are spineless.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2024 23:27     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Anonymous wrote:SIL is getting married, she invited my spouse (her sibling) but not me. I found out by accident, spouse is hiding this from me. Its a small courthouse ceremony with half a dozen people. SIL was my bridesmaid 10 years ago, but there have been beefs since. My spouse claims he wants harmony between everybody, but is a people pleaser when it comes to family of origin. He doesnt know that i know. Do I crash the wedding?


Other ppl said it too: it’s a 6 person list. 4 parents and 2 siblings. 3 ppl per spouse.

It sucks for you, but don’t take it personally if the number of people is so limited. Not sure why they didn’t tell you, but maybe because they knew you’d get upset.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2024 23:21     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Ask your husband why he thinks you weren’t invited and how he feels about that. That will tell you loads about where the problem is here. I have no idea if it’s you, her, or him. Frankly, it could be all of the above!
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2024 21:46     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Yeah you lost me at the devout Catholics having a courthouse wedding. That’s not possible.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2024 21:41     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should let him know that you found out.

You should then ask him to ask his sister if you can go.

Respect the answer you get back.

If you aren't invited, there's a reason, and crashing is wrong. Who knows what it is. But it's the wedding couple's day, and a respectful person would not seek to detract from it.

This might mean your SIL has permanently written off your relationship. But so what. If you are already estranged it doesn't really matter if you are not there.


OP here. Is it not wrong to invite someone without spouse? What god united, men can’t separate. We are a family unit and in-laws are all devout Catholics.


Now it becomes more clear why you weren't invited. No. People can invite or not invite anyone they like to their celebrations. You and your spouse are not conjoined twins.


+1
She probably doesn't want the added stress at her wedding. Give her the gift of your absence.

+2 We have good friends who ended up getting married by themselves, instead of with just their four parents, because his parents refused to come without his siblings, two of whom had severe mental health problems at the time. Respect their wishes.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2024 21:38     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Anonymous wrote:Wow OP, what did you do?

+1 I want to know about the “beefs.”
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2024 21:32     Subject: Crash a wedding?
What have the "beefs" been about?

Why did your husband hid the invitation from you?

There's a lot of dysfunction to unpack here. But no, you don't crash a wedding.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2024 21:23     Subject: Crash a wedding?
Do not crash the wedding.