Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm low-key, and my DH flaunts it. For example, he drives a luxury car, and I don't; he joined an expensive golf club. He "needs" to live in a very expensive house that is too big for our needs. We are barely wealthy (think $5m net worth). Over the years, I've accepted the way he is, and just have my emergency fund he doesn't see, so if s*** hits the fan, I can float us for a while so we can sell our house, his car, and get out of memberships.

Did you grow up poor?

I'd think it's the other way around.

You are correct.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm low-key, and my DH flaunts it. For example, he drives a luxury car, and I don't; he joined an expensive golf club. He "needs" to live in a very expensive house that is too big for our needs. We are barely wealthy (think $5m net worth). Over the years, I've accepted the way he is, and just have my emergency fund he doesn't see, so if s*** hits the fan, I can float us for a while so we can sell our house, his car, and get out of memberships.

Did you grow up poor?

I'd think it's the other way around.

Anonymous wrote:I'm low-key, and my DH flaunts it. For example, he drives a luxury car, and I don't; he joined an expensive golf club. He "needs" to live in a very expensive house that is too big for our needs. We are barely wealthy (think $5m net worth). Over the years, I've accepted the way he is, and just have my emergency fund he doesn't see, so if s*** hits the fan, I can float us for a while so we can sell our house, his car, and get out of memberships.

Did you grow up poor?

Anonymous wrote:I'm very modest about it. My baby was wrapped in a Harvard blanket, so I told people that I got it at a thrift shop.

And we have the smallest yacht of anyone we know b

Oh my heavens, I used to be wealthy but when I had to downsize to a Hinckley, let 3 of my 5 domestic staff go, and begin renting out the caretakers cottage across my home’s courtyard in Gstaad, it was very humbling. Thank God, the 6br cottage in Maine is still in the family though.

I'm low-key, and my DH flaunts it. For example, he drives a luxury car, and I don't; he joined an expensive golf club. He "needs" to live in a very expensive house that is too big for our needs. We are barely wealthy (think $5m net worth). Over the years, I've accepted the way he is, and just have my emergency fund he doesn't see, so if s*** hits the fan, I can float us for a while so we can sell our house, his car, and get out of memberships.

We don't like to flaunt our wealth for several reasons:

-Relatives will be coming from all directions asking for handouts. As it were, some of them already do on a semi regular basis.
-We come from really humble backgrounds and just don't like flashiness.
-For personal safety.

Anonymous wrote:We live beneath our means but our name gives us away.

Lol. Doubt it. But this comment is really unintentionally revealing.

Anonymous wrote:We don’t flaunt it at all but we don’t hide it. We live very comfortably but well below our means. If you make a million but live on $100,000 what’s the point of making a million.

I don't normally add up our spend, but most of our expenses are on CC (except things like utilities), and their end of the year statement gave me a glimpse. I think we spend about 200K a year. Which is not nothing, but less than 20% of our annual income. I was surprised, and expected it to be more.

I’ve done some reflecting on this. DH and I grew up lower to middle class. We bought our house years ago and family, neighbors and friends are all middle - upper middle class. I will admit here that I have some prejudices about rich people, despite being one now myself.

I don’t trust that I could raise kids well who understand how wealthy they are. I do not want to get into circles where I or my kids feel pressure to keep up with the Joneses.

So, we don’t go out of our way to save money, but because our house is so cheap and cars aren’t that exciting, we do end up saving a lot. We go on nice vacations, and I buy lots of clothes but just at places I’ve always shopped.

For reasons above, plus possibility of getting robbed or being a target for a scam, I don’t want to buy watches or purses that cost thousands.

Flashy? No. Is it clear I have money, yes. Everything subtle and tasteful, but always expensive.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you have a HHI of $1 million but a net worth of only $4 million you are likely flaunting it.

You may be right, but we only began making this level of income within the last few years. Still, I've gotten roasted here before for our subpar savings level (20% of HHI). But yes, we've inflated our lifestyle significantly as our income has risen.

Anonymous wrote:I would consider us to be wealthy (early 40s, about $10M net worth) and we're probably somewhere in the middle. I think you have to define "flaunt".

We present as UMC for sure - fit, nice clothes and accessories, nice skin/hair/teeth, hobbies like golf and tennis. We go on very nice vacations and often stay in really nice accommodations. But we're not ones to post social media photos of ourselves in first class or staying at the Four Seasons. So in that way, no I don't think we're flashy. Plus, we know people worth triple-digit-million dollars and fly private, so we're well aware of broader context.

But we do drive nice luxury cars and I have nice jewelry and bags. So I'm sure some people would see me getting out of my (white) luxury SUV, wearing a Moncler jacket, and wearing a Love bracelet and think I'm the height of flash.

lol.

OP, if you have a HHI of $1 million but a net worth of only $4 million you are likely flaunting it.

We don’t flaunt it at all but we don’t hide it. We live very comfortably but well below our means. If you make a million but live on $100,000 what’s the point of making a million.

If someone is going to feel contempt about what you spend your money on, ditch them quick.