Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 10:06     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Depends on the man and the woman.
If someone wakes up everyday and has support and love, then he will feel more motivated and self confident.
I made the mistake of marrying into a family with lots of mental health issues with both of my wife’s parents, thinking that my wife got lucky and didn’t have them. Well the first ten or so years were great and then the conversion started.
All of the negativity and nastiness just progressed to a point of almost unbarability. Waking up every morning to all kinds of negative talk, complaining about everything, every day, had a huge toll on my life outside of home.
Once I reached a point of not giving a shit about her or her opinions my business started to flourish again. I look at our marriage like a prison sentence now, counting the days until kids are all out of the house.


Lol.

Imagine that. A self centered husband wasn’t pitching in at home so the exasperated wife kept trying to get him involved and pulling his weight. He didn’t want to so when he finally wrote her off more entirely “his business flourished.”

People like you never should have married anyone. Good luck with blaming your in laws and wife for your deficiencies. Be sure to saw that on your OLd profile.


Bitter much?
Always very involved with my kids, always had a cleaning person once or twice a week as needed, always was flying around to kids activities on evenings and weekends (and would cover mid day things if wife was spread to thin with other kids), cooked dinner 2-3 times a week. No interest in an online profile now or in the future, won’t be needed. Both in-laws and SIL have mental health issues that have very negatively affected their lives, in the early stages of our relationship I was always told that I got the, “normal one.” I should have thought more into it.

It was definitely a deficiency to allow the verbal and mental abuse to affect me negatively. I took a journal and wrote down the things that were said to me every day for about 3 months, went back and read it and was able to flip a switch instantly.

So going back to purpose of the thread: Yes I think a mans career can be boosted by a supportive relationship, depending on how the relationship is valued. I used to view my marriage as the center of my life with everything coming from it. Now I view myself as the center and the relationship is irrelevant to my mood. I am looking forward to having someone that I can share my life with in a positive and enjoyable way, but for now I just focus on my kids and then myself and work.



similar situation here. now know all about bipolar and aspergers on the DSM and that side of the family. we live parallel lives, thus far in the same home and I do all the kid, social, house stuff and arrangement. ASD spouse is tapped out and checked out and mean AF.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 08:39     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Depends on the man and the woman.
If someone wakes up everyday and has support and love, then he will feel more motivated and self confident.
I made the mistake of marrying into a family with lots of mental health issues with both of my wife’s parents, thinking that my wife got lucky and didn’t have them. Well the first ten or so years were great and then the conversion started.
All of the negativity and nastiness just progressed to a point of almost unbarability. Waking up every morning to all kinds of negative talk, complaining about everything, every day, had a huge toll on my life outside of home.
Once I reached a point of not giving a shit about her or her opinions my business started to flourish again. I look at our marriage like a prison sentence now, counting the days until kids are all out of the house.


Lol.

Imagine that. A self centered husband wasn’t pitching in at home so the exasperated wife kept trying to get him involved and pulling his weight. He didn’t want to so when he finally wrote her off more entirely “his business flourished.”

People like you never should have married anyone. Good luck with blaming your in laws and wife for your deficiencies. Be sure to saw that on your OLd profile.


Bitter much?
Always very involved with my kids, always had a cleaning person once or twice a week as needed, always was flying around to kids activities on evenings and weekends (and would cover mid day things if wife was spread to thin with other kids), cooked dinner 2-3 times a week. No interest in an online profile now or in the future, won’t be needed. Both in-laws and SIL have mental health issues that have very negatively affected their lives, in the early stages of our relationship I was always told that I got the, “normal one.” I should have thought more into it.

It was definitely a deficiency to allow the verbal and mental abuse to affect me negatively. I took a journal and wrote down the things that were said to me every day for about 3 months, went back and read it and was able to flip a switch instantly.

So going back to purpose of the thread: Yes I think a mans career can be boosted by a supportive relationship, depending on how the relationship is valued. I used to view my marriage as the center of my life with everything coming from it. Now I view myself as the center and the relationship is irrelevant to my mood. I am looking forward to having someone that I can share my life with in a positive and enjoyable way, but for now I just focus on my kids and then myself and work.

Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 07:54     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:Depends on the man and the woman.
If someone wakes up everyday and has support and love, then he will feel more motivated and self confident.
I made the mistake of marrying into a family with lots of mental health issues with both of my wife’s parents, thinking that my wife got lucky and didn’t have them. Well the first ten or so years were great and then the conversion started.
All of the negativity and nastiness just progressed to a point of almost unbarability. Waking up every morning to all kinds of negative talk, complaining about everything, every day, had a huge toll on my life outside of home.
Once I reached a point of not giving a shit about her or her opinions my business started to flourish again. I look at our marriage like a prison sentence now, counting the days until kids are all out of the house.


Lol.

Imagine that. A self centered husband wasn’t pitching in at home so the exasperated wife kept trying to get him involved and pulling his weight. He didn’t want to so when he finally wrote her off more entirely “his business flourished.”

People like you never should have married anyone. Good luck with blaming your in laws and wife for your deficiencies. Be sure to saw that on your OLd profile.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 07:51     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m not talking about social advantage, networking, or practical support at home. I’m asking whether having a loving relationship translates into increased ambition, drive, follow through, goal setting or achievement for a man. Or does water reach its level irrespective of emotional support.


Only women need “emotional support” in order to achieve anything.

nb many great men of history got their best work done before they got married, if they got married at all.


No ones talking about emotional support. The Op is talking about did someone’s internal motivation go up once married or having kids. Did they finally or more so feel the need tonott ur perform at work. lol. Sounds exhausting times two.

But to your other point, yes, women generally need to work on generating more confidence from within. I know they can do it. I’ve walked them through that - as a coach, parent, coworker, board member.
Some Woman can get so self critical that they do perfectionist level work, but at the same time don’t step back and look at their big picture accomplishments.

Everyone needs “emotional support” btw. Your emotions don’t just go away because yours too busy or important or ignorant to ID then it process through them. It’s your brian and body telling you something. So deal with that something.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 07:46     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m not talking about social advantage, networking, or practical support at home. I’m asking whether having a loving relationship translates into increased ambition, drive, follow through, goal setting or achievement for a man. Or does water reach its level irrespective of emotional support.


Only women need “emotional support” in order to achieve anything.

nb many great men of history got their best work done before they got married, if they got married at all.


Au contraire

Many men inventors and work addicts did their best work when married and worst work once divorced.
They needed someone to care for them and often organize their $hit$how life, and often married someone they met at work or uni to check their work, fix it, re do it and then be quiet about it.

There are countless books and examples of this with Einstein and Einstein-like inventors having a righthand woman wife doing the “details” like math, writing, spelling, processing, budgeting, financials, and making sure the crazy guy ate, slept and maybe went it the dentist or doctor once in a blue moon.

Countless more examples in the tech revolution- jobs, musk, bezos.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2024 07:29     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Depends on the man and the woman.
If someone wakes up everyday and has support and love, then he will feel more motivated and self confident.
I made the mistake of marrying into a family with lots of mental health issues with both of my wife’s parents, thinking that my wife got lucky and didn’t have them. Well the first ten or so years were great and then the conversion started.
All of the negativity and nastiness just progressed to a point of almost unbarability. Waking up every morning to all kinds of negative talk, complaining about everything, every day, had a huge toll on my life outside of home.
Once I reached a point of not giving a shit about her or her opinions my business started to flourish again. I look at our marriage like a prison sentence now, counting the days until kids are all out of the house.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 23:17     Subject: Re:Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
I would say likely if one is a politician.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 23:06     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Duh.

Everyone needs a wife at home taking care of everything so they bc na be a myopic one trick pony and focus on getting ahead at work 24/7.

Free childcare, free cooking, free cleaning, free planning, free social activities sign up, free $ex, free reminder system, free party planning, free kid tutoring, free healthcare mgmt, and I look like a mature, responsible, likeable Family Guy. After all, someone married me and had kids with me!


This^. Most of my physician friends want a SAHD while they are in med school or training and even after that, many only want them to go back to work part time or WFH as they don't want to share the burden.


I am not a SAHD but I am married to a physician. Yeah I don’t recommend it…


Its not a matter of recommending or not but individual choices. My point was that ambitious men AND women greatly benefit from devoted partners.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 22:24     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:I’m not talking about social advantage, networking, or practical support at home. I’m asking whether having a loving relationship translates into increased ambition, drive, follow through, goal setting or achievement for a man. Or does water reach its level irrespective of emotional support.


Only women need “emotional support” in order to achieve anything.

nb many great men of history got their best work done before they got married, if they got married at all.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 21:24     Subject: Re:Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, there is the expression happy wife, happy life. We had a very happy life and I know that my husband was never burdened by an unhappy wife, unhappy life and that allowed him to work unburdened by hell at home. Quite a few years ago he was invited to the Super Bowl and he turned it down so he could be home on the weekend. That stunned me given he was a fan but it just reinforced we had a very good relationship.


Allowed to work unburdened by the hell at home.

Nice.

Reminds me of if a SAHM I know, fake as hell, never let them see you sweat type. Happy and smiling and laughing mouth wide open in photos all day.

B1tching and complaining and drinking the rest of her time to her old sorority sisters and her own mother.

Sleeps in all weekend days and has the husband deep clean the house, out everything away and manage the four young kids until 10am. Also takes girls trips away monthly and spends like crazy but bills a credit card her parents pay.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 21:02     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:Duh.

Everyone needs a wife at home taking care of everything so they bc na be a myopic one trick pony and focus on getting ahead at work 24/7.

Free childcare, free cooking, free cleaning, free planning, free social activities sign up, free $ex, free reminder system, free party planning, free kid tutoring, free healthcare mgmt, and I look like a mature, responsible, likeable Family Guy. After all, someone married me and had kids with me!


OP specifically said she wasn’t referencing support at home/support with kids. She was wondering if the very nature of having a relationship can strengthen a man’s career.

And the answer is no.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 20:59     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
No
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 20:58     Subject: Re:Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Yes, there is the expression happy wife, happy life. We had a very happy life and I know that my husband was never burdened by an unhappy wife, unhappy life and that allowed him to work unburdened by hell at home. Quite a few years ago he was invited to the Super Bowl and he turned it down so he could be home on the weekend. That stunned me given he was a fan but it just reinforced we had a very good relationship.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 19:50     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Duh.

Everyone needs a wife at home taking care of everything so they bc na be a myopic one trick pony and focus on getting ahead at work 24/7.

Free childcare, free cooking, free cleaning, free planning, free social activities sign up, free $ex, free reminder system, free party planning, free kid tutoring, free healthcare mgmt, and I look like a mature, responsible, likeable Family Guy. After all, someone married me and had kids with me!


This^. Most of my physician friends want a SAHD while they are in med school or training and even after that, many only want them to go back to work part time or WFH as they don't want to share the burden.


I am not a SAHD but I am married to a physician. Yeah I don’t recommend it…
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2024 19:20     Subject: Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?
Anonymous wrote:Duh.

Everyone needs a wife at home taking care of everything so they bc na be a myopic one trick pony and focus on getting ahead at work 24/7.

Free childcare, free cooking, free cleaning, free planning, free social activities sign up, free $ex, free reminder system, free party planning, free kid tutoring, free healthcare mgmt, and I look like a mature, responsible, likeable Family Guy. After all, someone married me and had kids with me!


This^. Most of my physician friends want a SAHD while they are in med school or training and even after that, many only want them to go back to work part time or WFH as they don't want to share the burden.