This is old school thinking. Boys definitely see parents more now. I see my grown married boys almost weekly…definitely 3 times a month at least.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This worries me and somedays I pray my son is gay. I see all around it's all about what the DIL wants they have access to manipulate and influence relations.

It's so sad

Yeah, ngl this is sadly true. Women are awful, unless they’re your mom, daughter, or spouse. And if you have more than one of those three… they will—more often than not—drive a wedge between relationships with other women.


Gay son=happier mom and daughters. No wife to drive a wedge.

I honestly hate saying this, because it is misogynistic but sadly it’s the truth =/

+1

When my grandmother was elderly and eventually dying, it was my dad not his sister who moved her in and cared for her.

When my MIL had cancer, it was me and my DH who spent the most time going to visit/care for her, not my SIL.

I think if you are a good mom, you will maintain a close relationship with your sons. I have boys and am not worried about this.

Anonymous wrote:This worries me and somedays I pray my son is gay. I see all around it's all about what the DIL wants they have access to manipulate and influence relations.

It's so sad

Well, this line of thought is sadder.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t let the patriarchy tell you that you can’t have a close emotional bond with your adult sons. The world needs way more emotionally intelligent and empathetic men.

This has little to do with patriarchy and more to do with matriarchy.

I guess first fix yourself, don't be needy and suffocating. Let them come to you on their own, not out of guilt or obligation.

Second, give them love and embrace their loved one.

Third, it'll be what it'll be, don't sweat over something that hasn't happened. These mind blocks poison relationships. There is a reason MILs are disliked universally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I only had boys I would invest in a kick-was vacation home. There’s zero you can do to overcome the kind of help a woman’s mom gives them for free, but you can bankroll other things.

op - not always though. my mom was never a helper. she was a bankroller.

I never understand you sorts on these forums. You had a shitty mom and *luckily* the vast minority in this country do not have a shitty mom. Surely you understand that most moms love their kids and screw up but show their kids they care and do better with time and have a good relationship with them? Of course not every mom is good, there are school shooters in this country. But thankfully most daughters want to emulate positive pieces of their upbringing and as they learn to be their own mom, their moms bring them comfort that no MIL will. You can’t compete with that. A vacation home is the closest you get.

Anonymous wrote:This worries me and somedays I pray my son is gay. I see all around it's all about what the DIL wants they have access to manipulate and influence relations.

It's so sad

Yeah, ngl this is sadly true. Women are awful, unless they’re your mom, daughter, or spouse. And if you have more than one of those three… they will—more often than not—drive a wedge between relationships with other women.


Gay son=happier mom and daughters. No wife to drive a wedge.

I honestly hate saying this, because it is misogynistic but sadly it’s the truth =/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I only had boys I would invest in a kick-was vacation home. There’s zero you can do to overcome the kind of help a woman’s mom gives them for free, but you can bankroll other things.

op - not always though. my mom was never a helper. she was a bankroller.

My in-laws are neither. And yes we’d see then more if they were at least one or the other. They don’t seem to care though.

My DH sees his mom once a week! I see
My family a few times a year (but they live far away). My brother sees my parents a few times a month because he lives closer.

Anonymous wrote:If I only had boys I would invest in a kick-was vacation home. There’s zero you can do to overcome the kind of help a woman’s mom gives them for free, but you can bankroll other things.

op - not always though. my mom was never a helper. she was a bankroller.

If I only had boys I would invest in a kick-was vacation home. There’s zero you can do to overcome the kind of help a woman’s mom gives them for free, but you can bankroll other things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mother of adult men here. It all depends on who they marry and how controlling you are.

can you tell me more?
I was always sad about not having a third but i actually wasn't sad about not having a girl. but now I'm starting to be sad about both!

I think if you have two or more boys it can be ok because the boys may stay close. Things seem the worst when there is one son and one daughter.

Like others have said it depends on who they marry. Also what kind of example you set for them.

Anonymous wrote:Mother of adult men here. It all depends on who they marry and how controlling you are.

can you tell me more?
I was always sad about not having a third but i actually wasn't sad about not having a girl. but now I'm starting to be sad about both!