Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are living in the 80s, OP. Prestigious schools are now filled with grinders. No one else is getting in. Grinders don’t suddenly become laid back partiers once they arrive at college. Go take a walk around campuses. It is grim.

Of the selective campuses I visited, toured with multiple kids over the last 3 years, these seemed quite fun/social:
UCLA
Rice
Vanderbilt
Dartmouth
Michigan
Emory
UVA
USC
UIUC
Wisco
Wake
Santa Clara
UMiami
Tulane

Having attended one of these schools, I can attest that “fun” and “pressure-cooker environment” are by no means mutually exclusive.

This. Niece is having the time of her life at UCLA but struggles in her classes. Definitely a pressure-cooker even though she enjoys it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are living in the 80s, OP. Prestigious schools are now filled with grinders. No one else is getting in. Grinders don’t suddenly become laid back partiers once they arrive at college. Go take a walk around campuses. It is grim.

Of the selective campuses I visited, toured with multiple kids over the last 3 years, these seemed quite fun/social:
UCLA
Rice
Vanderbilt
Dartmouth
Michigan
Emory
UVA
USC
UIUC
Wisco
Wake
Santa Clara
UMiami
Tulane

Having attended one of these schools, I can attest that “fun” and “pressure-cooker environment” are by no means mutually exclusive.

Anonymous wrote:If your kid jumps through all the high school hoops required to get into a Top 25 university, college is almost certainly going to be a much lower intensity environment than high school, regardless of where they go

This is a ridiculous generalization. If coming from a top DC-area public or private, maybe. If coming from a less rigorous school, absolutely not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are living in the 80s, OP. Prestigious schools are now filled with grinders. No one else is getting in. Grinders don’t suddenly become laid back partiers once they arrive at college. Go take a walk around campuses. It is grim.

Of the selective campuses I visited, toured with multiple kids over the last 3 years, these seemed quite fun/social:
UCLA
Rice
Vanderbilt
Dartmouth
Michigan
Emory
UVA
USC
UIUC
Wisco
Wake
Santa Clara
UMiami
Tulane

Seems to be #20-50 or 60?
Full pay?

Anonymous wrote:You are living in the 80s, OP. Prestigious schools are now filled with grinders. No one else is getting in. Grinders don’t suddenly become laid back partiers once they arrive at college. Go take a walk around campuses. It is grim.

This. I graduated 10 years ago but visiting a friend at Princeton for a weekend was totally eye opening. My smaller university was ranked mid 30s at the time, strong party reputation. Virtually everyone I met that weekend seemed terribly stressed even while drinking... extremely different environment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bryn Mawr isn't a pressure cooker because it's taboo for students to discuss grades with each other

That makes it worse because human nature is to assume everyone is doing better than you.

“They all are doing great and I must be the only failure” is the path to disastrous mental health.

“My friend got a B- and my other friend bombed the midterm, so it’s okay if I have a B- too” sets realistic expectations for performance at a challenging school.

The running joke is that everyone assumes they are the admissions mistake. Still, it is actually not that hard to stop comparing yourselves to other people all the time and to just focus on doing your own work the best you can, especially when the work is challenging. When you are intrinsically motivated, grade comparisons don't really matter.

Anonymous wrote:You are living in the 80s, OP. Prestigious schools are now filled with grinders. No one else is getting in. Grinders don’t suddenly become laid back partiers once they arrive at college. Go take a walk around campuses. It is grim.

Of the selective campuses I visited, toured with multiple kids over the last 3 years, these seemed quite fun/social:
UCLA
Rice
Vanderbilt
Dartmouth
Michigan
Emory
UVA
USC
UIUC
Wisco
Wake
Santa Clara
UMiami
Tulane

You are living in the 80s, OP. Prestigious schools are now filled with grinders. No one else is getting in. Grinders don’t suddenly become laid back partiers once they arrive at college. Go take a walk around campuses. It is grim.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So no schools in the top 25 or so that are NOT pressure cookers? Really?

By nature of being the top 25, of course they are pressure cookers.

And the mindset of the kids that make it in are not related Ed.

You are looking for a unicorn.
Consider seeking healthy balance instead of prestige for your child. One leads to a more solid foundation.

Hi I would like a universally recognized elite college attracting the highest achievers in the world, and you need perfect grades/scores to even enter the lottery to get in but NO PRESSURE and also NO COMPETITION once there.

Next up, find me a house in perfect condition in a great neighborhood that’s super safe with great schools and short commutes, but UNDER MARKET PRICE.

OP here, and I hear you. Does it hurt to ask?
I don't think it's an inherently insane idea that a good school might also be prestigious, and also not a pressure cooker.

Anonymous wrote:Just avoid Johns Hopkins if you want to avoid pressure cooker.

Where else to avoid??

Schools like Brown that grade by pass/fail--at least in the first year--will be less pressure cooker.

Anonymous wrote:Brown

Very low pressure once you get the 1580 and 4.0 with 12 APs and the Nobel Prize you need to get admitted since they reject 96% of applicants.

Anonymous wrote:Bryn Mawr isn't a pressure cooker because it's taboo for students to discuss grades with each other

That makes it worse because human nature is to assume everyone is doing better than you.

“They all are doing great and I must be the only failure” is the path to disastrous mental health.

“My friend got a B- and my other friend bombed the midterm, so it’s okay if I have a B- too” sets realistic expectations for performance at a challenging school.

I don’t think any of the top schools qualifies for this description any more. Stanford, for instance, has crushed undergraduate fun. Some students and alumni have even started a website about it:

https://stanfordhatesfun.com/

But it’s not just Stanford. Essentially, the top campuses are filled with polarized groups of ambitious hoop-jumpers. That leads to misery. Not to be too grim, but there has been a rise in student deaths in all these schools, and the terrible mental health issues on many of these campuses are well-known.

Just avoid Johns Hopkins if you want to avoid pressure cooker.