I feel like it’s mostly for the kids? I will get my husband a card and he will get me one. It feels pretty routine and fine. I have specifically asked him not to buy me jewelry or chocolates because I am usually watching what I eat after the holidays and I would rather pick out my own jewelry. There truly is nothing I especially want. I think he likes the feeling of “if I do this I’m a good husband” and checking the box on Valentine’s Day makes him feel that way when I would prefer other things (quality time together just the two of us or with the kids). But I think we will go out for lunch later in the week and that is nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here of 20 years. I would love it if my husband were romantic at all but I have accepted he is not. He is funny, kind, loyal and a great father/husband/son/brother etc and provides a nice life for our family. So I pick my battles.

We will likely get takeout that night at my suggestion and that is all. I pick out my own Christmas and birthday gifts and make all plans for anniversary, Mother’s Day, etc. I do get twinges of jealousy, but I just let them pass and wash over me. C’est la vie.

But you have accepted this. It doesn't have to be a battle. He doesn't have to make a grand expensive gesture but he can't write a note or get a card and some flowers from the store?

PP here. Past performance would indicate that no, he cannot.

I'm a wife and mom to three young kids. My kids all think Valentine's Day is great because we do make kind of a big deal about it. They wake up and they have balloons, chocolate and little gifts. I put a heart on their door every day for the first 14 days of February with a little note about something I love about them, and I do this for my husband, too. He and the kids don't do all 14 days for me, but they do a few days. I always buy my husband sexy lingerie for MYSELF as his gift (his favorite thing) and he gets me (and my daughter) roses and usually some inexpensive piece of jewelry.

Sure, it's a Hallmark holiday, but why not indulge and take the opportunity to "prove" your love, as a pp said. Or at least just SHOW it. I figure, in addition to making each other smile, we're showing our children that it's fun to be a married grown up, too.

To all you men out there...I say...it may be true that your wife doesn't care about Valentine's Day. It may be true that she won't be upset if you do nothing. But...I feel confident in guaranteeing you...that she will NOT be offended if you come home with a card with a handwritten note telling her something you love and/or appreciate about her, a bouquet of flowers, a little gift...a beautiful sweater, a little pair of earrings, whatever you think she would love. Even if you've never done anything like that before. Try it. I promise you, she's gonna smile. She's going to feel loved, special and cared for. Even if it is just a Hallmark holiday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your wife except this day to be special in some ways? Mine does not and I am glad.

I do not (wife). I think it's a stupid holiday. I'd rather my husband treat me well all the time and buy me random things as he thinks of them not because it's a specific day in February. I also have never liked roses and chocolate isn't my thing.

It's not an either / or.

DH can treat you well all year and still do a nice gesture on vday. lol

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely adore Valentine’s Day! What a joyous day. A day to celebrate love! I look at it more broadly to be sure, love for my kids, parents, husband, friends. I would cover my entire house in roses and chocolate if I could. In the dark and dreary month of February, the warmth of Valentine’s Day brightens my heart. I could look at it as a crass, commercial day. Instead, I take delight in it.

I'm a DH, and I used to hate the holiday and be all grinchy and call it a hallmark holiday

But DW has the same perspective as you, and now I love it. It's a day to celebrate love and that's a wonderful thing. We don't exchange gifts, we will share a special dessert and take time together, maybe go out to lunch.

And now I love it.