Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time to get a job! You are a fixture for your kid and most likely are hovering over her without even noticing it.
- daughter of long term SAHM who used to desperately wish to see a bit less of her mom

Not easy to do! The job market stinks when you've been out for a decade or so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time to get a job! You are a fixture for your kid and most likely are hovering over her without even noticing it.
- daughter of long term SAHM who used to desperately wish to see a bit less of her mom

My mom worked and I used to want to see less of her. We never had a good relationship. Now she is old and has cancer and I have a lot of guilt. I don’t think working status necessarily changes your feelings towards your mother.

Anonymous wrote:I know this isn't what you'll want to hear, but I would love it if my daughter and husband had something even close to this relationship.

But that said, it sounds like with your husband's work schedule and you being probably the primary parent as a SAHM, your husband is more of the fun parent, while you take on most of the not fun work of parenting.
Are you the one reminding about homework, are you the one who is having her do chores, are you more firm about things? She's probably gravitating towards him because of that.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds great and it also sounds like you need to get a life outside of your daughter. She’s 10. You have 1 kid. What do you do all day? You feel this way because you have no identity or independence outside of being a SAHM and a wife. You’re not setting a great example for your daughter imo.

Anonymous wrote:What a horribly narcissistic post.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. No, this isn't a troll post. Not sure how it is. Yes, I'm still a SAHM because thankfully my husband is very successful so I don't need to work.

It does sadden me after all these years of my daughter being attached to me that she's starting to lean more toward her dad. I'm not upset or angry. It's just a feeling of 'awe, she used to do that with me' that's all. You spent almost ten years with your child everyday...you get attached.

To reply to some of the posts: He does stay for every single practice and game. He likes it. I asked him why and for him it's a break from work (he doesn't even play with his phone). He just enjoys watching her play. He was a serious athlete back in the day. Almost made the Olympics in the late 90s. He also likes to watch so he can help her with things she's struggling with during practice. As for me, I thought about going back to work but it's too hard for me after being out of the marketplace for a decade. Everyone has more experience than me, etc.

I was just wondering if this was normal for kids. I know kids always lean toward one parent and me only have one kid I don't see it if I had more. But, it does make me a little sad because she used to be so attached to me. I've also heard about the high school years. Some moms say it's going to be bad, some say not so much. We'll find out. Still have several years to go!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how left out your husband has felt for the last 10 years of her preferring you.

Don't ruin this relationship for them. It's an ebb and flow.

This is spot on.

Also, OP, perhaps you are feeling this way because you are a SAHM to an only child who is in school 7+ hours a day, and you don't have anything else going on in your life, so your whole identity is wrapped up in being a mother, and it's extra tough when your kid prefers the other parent.

Yeah it would feel bad if I sat around all day waiting for my kid to get home and she just preferred her dad and the dad took her to sports.

I am a SAHM to 3. This makes me want to go back to work.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. No, this isn't a troll post. Not sure how it is. Yes, I'm still a SAHM because thankfully my husband is very successful so I don't need to work.

It does sadden me after all these years of my daughter being attached to me that she's starting to lean more toward her dad. I'm not upset or angry. It's just a feeling of 'awe, she used to do that with me' that's all. You spent almost ten years with your child everyday...you get attached.

To reply to some of the posts: He does stay for every single practice and game. He likes it. I asked him why and for him it's a break from work (he doesn't even play with his phone). He just enjoys watching her play. He was a serious athlete back in the day. Almost made the Olympics in the late 90s. He also likes to watch so he can help her with things she's struggling with during practice. As for me, I thought about going back to work but it's too hard for me after being out of the marketplace for a decade. Everyone has more experience than me, etc.

I was just wondering if this was normal for kids. I know kids always lean toward one parent and me only have one kid I don't see it if I had more. But, it does make me a little sad because she used to be so attached to me. I've also heard about the high school years. Some moms say it's going to be bad, some say not so much. We'll find out. Still have several years to go!

Anonymous wrote:Normal. Relationships with parents ebb and flow. Be happy they have a strong relationship and she has a good Dad.

Anonymous wrote:I am very closed to my daughter and we are getting divorced. I am not sad about loosing my wife but I am having sleepless nights over the idea that I won’t get to maker her breakfast every morning, or her showing me her new dance routines every night, or the two of us learning about geography, so many activities.

So OP enjoy this. It’s healthy. She loves you too. Every girl loves her daddy. And we love our daughters too.