Fail forward.

Read up on the Rock (Dwayne) who really, really wanted to get into the NFL and it did not happen.

He said it pushed him forward to becoming a movie star.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sick of these posts…there are gobs of them if you search DCUM.

There is no perfect school so it was all a lie anyway. You should never have let your kid think this way which is your fault.

Tell them life is hard, give them a couple of days to grieve then have them focus on all the great things about the schools they were accepted.

How do you know OP did her kid thing that way? As a parent, you encourage your kids to work hard school get good grades and work hard to get to a good college. The problem is your kid who has done all that didn't get accepted, while others do. The kids have to think of some college to go to and work towards that but still not accepted. That is not easy to deal as a parent and OP is just trying to find out from others.

We never used or allowed the use of the term, "dream school" in our house. It's a stupid concept and sets everyone up for disappointment.

Love all those who think this is something under the parent’s control. My DC never had a “dream school.” He even applied to a school ED, but was fine (and even a little relieved) when he was not accepted. On the other hand, I had another family member whose heart was absolutely set on one school and it was going to be very, very bad if she didn’t get in. There was no appreciable difference in the parents’ attitude in either case. The parents of kid #2 actively tried to promote other schools and talk the kid down from their first true love, to no avail. The kid was deferred (and crushed) but then finally accepted, so crises averted, but kids do this — everything is not the parent’s fault.

Anonymous wrote:You don’t always get what you want in life and that’s okay - move on.

+1000

PP's are needlessly cruel. I doubt this is even a parent problem - my DC has had a dream school since middle school. That dream was ALL them. I tried my best to talk them out of it and forced them to consider other options, but they weren't having it.

OP, the sting will wear off over time. Does he has a second-best college he can get excited about?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First thing is to not have a “dream school”.

+1 I sort of think this is a parenting issue. The expectation should have been quelled before the application was even sent.

It’s a live and learn opportunity. Life isn’t fair.

+1 My kids now know that college admissions for certain groups and/or majors is like a lottery. Be prepared.

Anonymous wrote:If we didn’t live in a participation trophy world, kids would learn how to handle rejection long before it was time for college admission decisions.

Nope. I earned my trophies in the 80s and still felt bad with college rejection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks to the helpful posters. DC is "fine". He loved it and isn't home crying by any stretch. And has never called it his dream school. I am prob more upset knowing it checks every box that the others don't.

It just feels like the others are settling and all have negatives. This one doesn't. And it was a target.

You can't control if kid vibes with a school.

Sounds like we have a parent problem here - not a kid problem.

Maybe. He's bummed not despondent.

So really the title of your post should be “how does a parent get over a kid getting rejected from their dream school?” Because you are the one with the problem, not him.

Because he's not crying and despondent and bedridden? It still hurts-- this post is hilarious (the replies from crazies) One PP told a mom she failed as a parent lol. I would love to see them say that in real life to her face. Keyboard warriors.

DP. Bummed is normal. Kids get bummed when they don't get things they want, and they generally get over it. Op has as much as said the issue is her own disappointment.

Anonymous wrote:First thing is to not have a “dream school”.

+1 I sort of think this is a parenting issue. The expectation should have been quelled before the application was even sent.

It’s a live and learn opportunity. Life isn’t fair.

Anonymous wrote:I believe teens deep down are still looking to us and still want our approval. So show them in every way that you are not disappointed, that they did amazingly well, and that you love the options they have. Remind them they can be as or more successful where they land. Nothing is determined.

To do this well, you have to sincerely feel that way yourself. Our Instagram society is constantly pushing the wrong message in terms of prestige, but we need to be better and wiser for our children’s sake.

Kindest response. OP, I agree with this. However it hurts, keep it within and look at the amazing aspects of kid's other choices.

OP- TIME.

Falling in love with the school you go to lessens the heart break. You never get over it but you realize that it all works out!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks to the helpful posters. DC is "fine". He loved it and isn't home crying by any stretch. And has never called it his dream school. I am prob more upset knowing it checks every box that the others don't.

It just feels like the others are settling and all have negatives. This one doesn't. And it was a target.

You can't control if kid vibes with a school.

Sounds like we have a parent problem here - not a kid problem.

Maybe. He's bummed not despondent.

So really the title of your post should be “how does a parent get over a kid getting rejected from their dream school?” Because you are the one with the problem, not him.

Because he's not crying and despondent and bedridden? It still hurts-- this post is hilarious (the replies from crazies) One PP told a mom she failed as a parent lol. I would love to see them say that in real life to her face. Keyboard warriors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks to the helpful posters. DC is "fine". He loved it and isn't home crying by any stretch. And has never called it his dream school. I am prob more upset knowing it checks every box that the others don't.

It just feels like the others are settling and all have negatives. This one doesn't. And it was a target.

You can't control if kid vibes with a school.

Sounds like we have a parent problem here - not a kid problem.

Maybe. He's bummed not despondent.

So really the title of your post should be “how does a parent get over a kid getting rejected from their dream school?” Because you are the one with the problem, not him.

If we didn’t live in a participation trophy world, kids would learn how to handle rejection long before it was time for college admission decisions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks to the helpful posters. DC is "fine". He loved it and isn't home crying by any stretch. And has never called it his dream school. I am prob more upset knowing it checks every box that the others don't.

It just feels like the others are settling and all have negatives. This one doesn't. And it was a target.

You can't control if kid vibes with a school.

Sounds like we have a parent problem here - not a kid problem.

Maybe. He's bummed not despondent.