Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sitting here shooting down virtually every suggestion offered by anyone.

I’m not shooting anything down, but a lot of what folks have suggested I don’t qualify for. I’m looking for a pt job, will start tutoring this week, and continue my hunt for a better paying job. Aside from the cleaner & streaming services there’s not much more I can cut. I do my own hair & nails. I try to by off brand food. I workout at home so no gym fees. I wear the same raggedy clothes & shoes. Sometimes things have to be replaced because my job requires decent appearances but I definitely stretch things out. I don’t like junk so there’s not a lot of “extra” stuff in my house. I don’t do things like Starbucks unless I have a gift card. I don’t go out with friends. I cook most meals. I only have to pay $100 a month for braces because luckily my insurance covered 50%. I have the cheapest internet package. I dont host family or friends because $$. I keep my thermostat low to save $. I’m trying.

Hey Sis, another black woman here.

You’re doing EVERYTHING right.

I understand the hair and nails thing.

I’m going to make a suggestion that is going to sound wild to anyone who isn’t a black woman.

You MUST invest in your physical appearance, your clothing, hair, and nails must look presentable in order for you to advance professionally. For us, 9/10 it’s network, and in order to feel confident enough to successfully expand your network, you have to be out and about, and you won’t feel ok being out and about if you don’t feel like you look good.

Make a hair appointment, make a nail appointment. Get yourself a new nice outfit. Get outside.

Reach out to people that you know in the field that you’re in and circulate your resume directly.

You don’t need 7 part time jobs. You need one good full time job. Overworking will run you into an early grave and make you a less effective mom.

Do NOT get rid of your cleaner, it’s probably the thing that’s keep you from falling fully into a depression pit.

Your daughter is going to be fine. At your income, she’ll qualify for aid, loans, need based scholarships.

Pursue your child support through the courts, if your ex owes you $18k, that’s your cushion. It’s tax time, at minimum you can get his tax return intercepted to start things off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did an in-depth look at my finances today and I just…don’t want to feel any more. I’m employed full time and just picked up a tutoring job that doesn’t pay much. Ive been looking for another job for over a year and I can’t even get an interview. I’m talking hundreds of job apps. I have my masters but it’s worthless. Before taxes I make just under 80k. My kid does not have a college savings and will be going off to college in 2.5 years. Her dad’s child support is minimal ($200/month). I stopped getting my hair done to save money (fwiw I’m black so this is a big deal). Considering cutting streaming services too just to cut corners where I can. We have no vacation expenses this year. I don’t buy new clothes. One expense that I need to cut is my monthly house cleaner but she brings me so much joy and reduces my stress greatly, but I should save the $150 each month. Suicide is not actually a viable option because I can’t do that to my kid, but I am overwhelmed and frustrated with my situation. I’m just tired.

You have a spending issue. Get a part-time virtual job with customer service or something to supplement. May of us do our hair, don't have housekeepers, and don't take vacations. Welcome to my world. Your kid will get financial aid or community college.

I’ve been striking out on the part time virtual jobs. It’s beyond frustrating. We don’t eat out, don’t shop, and she gets her hair braided every 2 months or so. I haven’t been to the salon since last august (I look a mess). I’ve basically removed all joy from my life which is why I’m hesitant to cut the cleaner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sitting here shooting down virtually every suggestion offered by anyone.

I’m not shooting anything down, but a lot of what folks have suggested I don’t qualify for. I’m looking for a pt job, will start tutoring this week, and continue my hunt for a better paying job. Aside from the cleaner & streaming services there’s not much more I can cut. I do my own hair & nails. I try to by off brand food. I workout at home so no gym fees. I wear the same raggedy clothes & shoes. Sometimes things have to be replaced because my job requires decent appearances but I definitely stretch things out. I don’t like junk so there’s not a lot of “extra” stuff in my house. I don’t do things like Starbucks unless I have a gift card. I don’t go out with friends. I cook most meals. I only have to pay $100 a month for braces because luckily my insurance covered 50%. I have the cheapest internet package. I dont host family or friends because $$. I keep my thermostat low to save $. I’m trying.

Hey Sis, another black woman here.

You’re doing EVERYTHING right.

I understand the hair and nails thing.

I’m going to make a suggestion that is going to sound wild to anyone who isn’t a black woman.

You MUST invest in your physical appearance, your clothing, hair, and nails must look presentable in order for you to advance professionally. For us, 9/10 it’s network, and in order to feel confident enough to successfully expand your network, you have to be out and about, and you won’t feel ok being out and about if you don’t feel like you look good.

Make a hair appointment, make a nail appointment. Get yourself a new nice outfit. Get outside.

Reach out to people that you know in the field that you’re in and circulate your resume directly.

You don’t need 7 part time jobs. You need one good full time job. Overworking will run you into an early grave and make you a less effective mom.

Do NOT get rid of your cleaner, it’s probably the thing that’s keep you from falling fully into a depression pit.

Your daughter is going to be fine. At your income, she’ll qualify for aid, loans, need based scholarships.

Pursue your child support through the courts, if your ex owes you $18k, that’s your cushion. It’s tax time, at minimum you can get his tax return intercepted to start things off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what job do you have today? What is your master’s in? Why do you feel you need to take it off your resume? What roles are you applying to?

I’m an educator. My masters is in education. I took it off to apply to pt jobs because I thought it was making me an automatic no/she’s too expensive. I am applying for any and everything. I’d like to get out of education but it looks like I’m stuck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sitting here shooting down virtually every suggestion offered by anyone.

I’m not shooting anything down, but a lot of what folks have suggested I don’t qualify for. I’m looking for a pt job, will start tutoring this week, and continue my hunt for a better paying job. Aside from the cleaner & streaming services there’s not much more I can cut. I do my own hair & nails. I try to by off brand food. I workout at home so no gym fees. I wear the same raggedy clothes & shoes. Sometimes things have to be replaced because my job requires decent appearances but I definitely stretch things out. I don’t like junk so there’s not a lot of “extra” stuff in my house. I don’t do things like Starbucks unless I have a gift card. I don’t go out with friends. I cook most meals. I only have to pay $100 a month for braces because luckily my insurance covered 50%. I have the cheapest internet package. I dont host family or friends because $$. I keep my thermostat low to save $. I’m trying.