Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really sorry for your loss. What you are going through is so unfair, and I really wish you healing and peace.

That said, I also don't think they did anything wrong, and if anything were trying to distract themselves from their nerves for their own appointment. I always get anxiety before my OB appointments and need to bring something to distract myself so this honestly could have been me - except crochet or embroidery instead of knitting.

Even if this were the case, there were plenty of other seats. If the person starts crying harder, how about moving somewhere else? Literally we were the only 3 people in the office. And this person sat right next to us.

Okay, now that is very strange, for a waiting room to be practically empty, and then for someone to sit right next to you, a crying couple. That is not a person who has social skills or awareness. And then to bust out some baby clothing knitting? That's a classic Tragedy Vulture move. Tragedy Vultures are a kind of narcissistic person who feeds off sad things that happen to other people. Did she try to talk to you?

People can be weird at OB offices, though. In the waiting room at the MFM office, there was a very AMA mom there with her husband and she was loudly praying to god to forgive her for being such a sinner and questioning His Plan by getting an amniocentesis. Like super duper loud, calling a lot of attention to herself, in a room full of women who were all pretty on edge anyways.

I am sorry that happened to you, and I dont' understand why people here are being so insensitive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have a lot of anger at the situation and also jealousy. All of it is very understandable, but this person was not trying to hurt you and could not have known what was going on. I’m sorry for your loss.

I was DEVESTATED, my husband, a military officer was crying. We lost our baby. It was dead in my body.

There’s a good (at least 1 in 4) chance that the knitting woman beside you has gone through a similar experience. For my subsequent pregnancies after my first loss I was a shaking bundle of nerves before every ultrasound. I’m a big reader so I would try my best to just focus on a book and tune out everything around me…maybe that woman does the same through knitting.

Just because you’re rightfully devastated about your own situation doesn’t mean you need turn innocent bystanders into the enemy.

I would think that an obgyn's office would be full of reminders of babies and happy pregnant women/couples. It's too bad you had to go in person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have a lot of anger at the situation and also jealousy. All of it is very understandable, but this person was not trying to hurt you and could not have known what was going on. I’m sorry for your loss.

I was DEVESTATED, my husband, a military officer was crying. We lost our baby. It was dead in my body.

OMG would you please stop saying "dead baby" and "dead in my body"? You are incredibly self involved and literally using a dead child to get sympathy on the internet.

Clearly it wouldn't even occur to you that your language and posts could be triggering for others even as you are going on and on about how awful it was for you to get triggered. You need to go get some sympathy from an appropriate place, not here.

DP: Stop scolding this poor women for expressing her grief in a perfectly natural way. No one need participate in a thread and you already know what this one is about.

OP I have no idea why people are being so hard on you today. Usually this is a more supportive area.

The world doesn’t stop for you. Sorry for your loss, but you can’t expect everyone to walk on eggshells because you are upset.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She was probably asking herself why you didn’t leave the office to cry.[/quote]

Agreed. [/quote]

We couldn't leave, we were waiting to be called back. [/quote]

They could have texted you when the doctor was ready for you. [/quote]

They don't have that capability

Anonymous wrote:I think you have a lot of anger at the situation and also jealousy. All of it is very understandable, but this person was not trying to hurt you and could not have known what was going on. I’m sorry for your loss.

+1
I would feel the same op but I am also sure the lady was trying to distract herself to not invade your privacy. Kind of like looking away when a couple starts arguing near you. But like I said I'd be just as hurt at their oblivious jerkwad actions and I bet she is realizing later on how stupid she was in that moment.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She was probably asking herself why you didn’t leave the office to cry.[/quote]

Agreed. [/quote]

We couldn't leave, we were waiting to be called back. [/quote]

They could have texted you when the doctor was ready for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really sorry for your loss. What you are going through is so unfair, and I really wish you healing and peace.

That said, I also don't think they did anything wrong, and if anything were trying to distract themselves from their nerves for their own appointment. I always get anxiety before my OB appointments and need to bring something to distract myself so this honestly could have been me - except crochet or embroidery instead of knitting.

Even if this were the case, there were plenty of other seats. If the person starts crying harder, how about moving somewhere else? Literally we were the only 3 people in the office. And this person sat right next to us.

Jesus. Serious main character syndrome right here. Wherever they were on the waiting room, I’m sure you could see them. What does it matter where they sit?

This waiting room has 2 areas, so no, if they were in the other area I would not be able to see them knit if they needed to knit for whatever reason.

So you could have moved.

This would be the right move, OP.

It sucks - but it’s an awkward place. I was told I had HPV and then had to sit a waiting room with all these pregnant people.

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, OP. You are clearly grieving and I’m sorry for your loss. But the other people in the waiting room are not responsible for trying to help you feel better about your loss. On some level, you could have been making someone in the waiting room who was unable to even get pregnant feel badly by having a baby bump.

During the 16 week ultrasound for my first baby, we discovered no heartbeat. There was a 10 minute period when I was in the waiting room processing this, while all the other pregnant women around me were…still pregnant and not dealing with finding out they had lost a baby. My OB came to the waiting room and quickly whisked me back to her office to get me out of there, but I never expected other patients to modify their behavior to make way for my sadness.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was probably asking herself why you didn’t leave the office to cry.

Agreed.

We couldn't leave, we were waiting to be called back.

When we found out the baby was dead, I did wait to cry until we were in the hallway to avoid upsetting other patients.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was probably asking herself why you didn’t leave the office to cry.

Agreed.

We couldn't leave, we were waiting to be called back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have a lot of anger at the situation and also jealousy. All of it is very understandable, but this person was not trying to hurt you and could not have known what was going on. I’m sorry for your loss.

I was DEVESTATED, my husband, a military officer was crying. We lost our baby. It was dead in my body.

The doctor's staff should have put you in a exam room. My doctor would have let you wait in her office.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world does not revolve around you.

They probably didn’t even notice you.

Thanks for the kind words. My dead 15 week baby also thanks you.

I think it would be very uncomfortable for pregnant moms to have a crying person in the waiting room. The OB should have given you a private space to cry. I am sure miscarriages or unviable pregnancies are not rare occurrences in their business.

I've lost many and at no time was I offered a private space.

Anonymous wrote:She was probably asking herself why you didn’t leave the office to cry.

Agreed.