Anonymous wrote:NIAAA defines heavy drinking as follows:
For men, consuming five or more drinks on any day or 15 or more per week
SAMHSA defines heavy alcohol use as binge drinking on 5 or more days in the past month.

NIAAA defines binge drinking as a pattern of drinking alcohol that brings blood alcohol concentration (BAC) to 0.08 percent - or 0.08 grams of alcohol per deciliter - or higher. For a typical adult, this pattern corresponds to consuming 5 or more drinks (male) in about 2 hours.

https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/moderate-binge-drinking

One drink in wine is 4 oz. for these purposes, and so a bottle of wine holds more than 6 drinks. You do the math OP. Your DH is way beyond heavy, binge drinking.

It's 5 oz of wine at 12% alcohol, so a 750 ml bottle holds 5 "glasses of wine." https://www.dietaryguidelines.gov/sites/default/files/2020-12/Dietary_Guidelines_for_Americans_2020-2025.pdf

OP, this means he's at 5-10 drinks a night that you are seeing. He is a daily binge drinker.

OP, Al-Anon is a resource. They have meetings on Zoom. Search for one here: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/.

You cannot ever leave this infant alone with your husband until he gets treatment. This is likely to require major adjustments to plans you may otherwise have had--ex. the ability to go get a manicure on a Saturday afternoon while he "watches the baby." He would be drinking while doing that, so for now you can't. Be mad about it. It's worth being mad about.

Speaking from experience, I would focus on lining up a reliable babysitter, both for situations like that and for the inevitable crackup.

I am so sorry you are in this situation. Sending all good thoughts your way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he drinks 5 nights a week that’s 5 bottles of wine per week and 20 per month. That’s a lot!

How can you guys afford this? Is he thirsty? Have him drink a full glass of water before he starts with the wine.

What a naive idea. You...do know that drinking alcohol is not about slaking one's thirst, right? And that the idea of "filling up on water so you feel like drinking less" won't fly. He'll realize he's not getting the buzz he needs and simply won't do it. He needs much bigger help than just "drink a glass of water."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt he drinks a bottle of wine a night. Wine gives you the worst hangover and headache . How can he still function at work with these daily hangovers?

Perhaps he’s developed a tolerance from daily use - which means he would likely go through withdrawal when he stops (and might require hospitalization). I think the fact that he is “high functioning” has tricked OP into thinking he is not actually an alcoholic, but just someone who needs to cut down while they have a newborn. Nope.

It’s amazing how ignorant people on this thread are. DH may or may not be an alcoholic, but an average size male - let’s say 5”11 - 6’3 could easily drink a bottle of wine and not be “ falling down” drunk. That would take probably 2 bottles of wine and several shots of vodka.

One does not have to be "falling down drunk" to be an alcoholic. Addicts are often excellent at drinking large quantities whole still being remarkably functional to an outsider. It does not mean they're not alcoholics.

Beyond disrespectful at the least... why is this great dad having a party with himself every night while you take care of the baby? Do you work?

Anonymous wrote:If he drinks 5 nights a week that’s 5 bottles of wine per week and 20 per month. That’s a lot!

How can you guys afford this? Is he thirsty? Have him drink a full glass of water before he starts with the wine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt he drinks a bottle of wine a night. Wine gives you the worst hangover and headache . How can he still function at work with these daily hangovers?

Perhaps he’s developed a tolerance from daily use - which means he would likely go through withdrawal when he stops (and might require hospitalization). I think the fact that he is “high functioning” has tricked OP into thinking he is not actually an alcoholic, but just someone who needs to cut down while they have a newborn. Nope.

It’s amazing how ignorant people on this thread are. DH may or may not be an alcoholic, but an average size male - let’s say 5”11 - 6’3 could easily drink a bottle of wine and not be “ falling down” drunk. That would take probably 2 bottles of wine and several shots of vodka.

OP did this start after the baby came? How long have you been married? What is his drinking history? Did you feel this was a problem before and it’s been thrown into sharp relief with the arrival of the baby?

Your husband is an alcoholic. Give him an ultimatum immediately. It’s you and the baby or his drinking. Then act— leave him if he doesn’t stop drinking or seek treatment immediately. You owe it to your child.

Anonymous wrote:I doubt he drinks a bottle of wine a night. Wine gives you the worst hangover and headache . How can he still function at work with these daily hangovers?

Thanks for sharing your ignorance about alcohol use disorder. You’re lucky to be so ignorant.