Can anyone read???

On page 3, OP posted that they had a long talk and were going out for dinner.

And people are here on this page posting about brain tumors? Damn. Get a life.

Own your part in this, OP. You both behaved childishly. And sounds like he feels you're not listening to or respecting his needs and desires. It's a two-way street.

^ Yeah, I had the same concern when OP referred to her DH’s behavior as “WILDLY” out of character. Just keep an eye out, OP.

I also thought affair, or possibly other serious problems that are stressing him out and he’s acting out. Layoffs or setting the grounds for performance based termination at work, substance abuse, legal troubles. I’m sorry, I hope you get to the bottom of this.

I had the same experience as these other posters. Dh started treating me markedly differently and it was because he was in love with someone else and laying the groundwork to rewrite history and say our marriage sucked. Like the others, I never saw it coming and wouldn’t have believed anyone who had suggested it at that point. For my ex, the trigger was a midlife crisis. OP, your dh wouldn’t happen to be roughly 43 years old, would he?

Anonymous wrote:My ex acted like this when having an affair. Something to keep in mind. I never would have thought it possible.

Same. It wasn’t even a consideration when he was acting like that since we still were having sex and he’d be incredibly nice and doting …then a f@@@@hg pr@ck completely uncalled for out of the blue. As the spouse you literally start thinking you are crazy. Gaslighting. Being critical of the spouse let’s them square it in their mind.

Anonymous wrote:Cheating. Mine had these inappropriate unexpected outbursts over mundane things.

I remember it being very Jekyll and Hyde. It’s disorienting for you.

Cheating would have been the last thing I would have ever believed if someone wrote the same to me.

This is also where my head went. If it’s completely out of character, and he’s treating you like this, a lot of times it’s infidelity. It’s like they have to psych, themselves up to hate you to justify they’re cheating. Not saying that’s what’s definitely happening here OP, but keep your eyes open.

My ex acted like this when having an affair. Something to keep in mind. I never would have thought it possible.

Affair or brain tumor

You’re both stressed out. You both blame eachother for lack of support even though the stresses are from the outside. You had a kind of funny fight (I could totally see Paul Rudd and Kristin wiig re-enacting this: “well then I’m re-organizing your DESK…oh YEAH well then I’m reorganizing your shampoo to the couch!”)

Try to laugh about it. Remember that line: it will still be two days till we say we’re sorry” ? Don’t just pout till you get an apology. Just coexist for a bit and give eachother some grace. You

Anonymous wrote:The harpies in this sub forum will undoubtedly urge you to escalate.

They hate successful marriages.

If my husband were tossing my shampoo all over the house I would not experience that as “success.”

OP, I would ask for him to see a doctor. That is some crazy sh!t.

He sound like a leetle beech. Go to hotel and call deevorce attorney.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound just as immature as him. Why couldn’t you get him the paper that he wanted after he had a hard time dealing with the kids? Were you really busy or just wanted to be lazy like he said?

Not really. She said he was taking care of the kids because she had a long day. Being too tired, or even "lazy" to find paper (which he somehow can't find even though he works from home) is not the same thing as having the energy to go deliberately take their partner's toothpaste out of the bathroom and throw it on the couch and throw other items all around the house out of spite. That's way more immature.

When he moved the furniture, she went and moved his stuff that she knew he didn’t want moved as a punishment to him. That’s throwing a tantrum. You can say that his tantrum was bigger (and I would agree) but she started it. It sounds like she didn’t even try to understand why he wanted something moved. Did he just bang his knee into it multiple times that day? And OP is saying too bad, I don’t care what you think, I like it there, when it’s presumably both of their apartment. Definitely immature.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d suspect an affair.

+100 very typical behavior.

Looking back- I can see the time he was in it was when this out of character—walking on eggshells for me—behavior started.

It only makes sense looking in the rear view mirror…

And then they’re extra nice and you relax and make up…and then it happens again. And again. Then you just start not engaging.

Anonymous wrote:I’d suspect an affair.

+100 very typical behavior.

Looking back- I can see the time he was in it was when this out of character—walking on eggshells for me—behavior started.

It only makes sense looking in the rear view mirror…