NP - I may have my own version of this scenario happening, LOL.

When I got home yesterday I texted my family from the driveway that it was time to shovel. My husband came out and helped get groceries inside and I thought he'd come back out. Long story short - no one did and I cleared the sidewalk in front of the house. It's long as we have the widest front lot on our cul de sac. I ribbed the family about it during family movie night.

Now my husband is outside of his own accord, SHOVELING THE DECK. This behavior is out of character, to say the least. Have I started a shovel war?

OP, so what was the outcome! We need updates!

Oh, and my mom never modeled any passive aggressive behavior, she did exactly what Dad said, which probably led to me marrying someone a lot like him. Once I got into that situation, I refused to play along and everything has worked out...still married 20 years later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being toxic and petty. I read your other thread.

She’s truly a nasty piece of work and what’s worse is she is modeling that behavior for their impressionable teenage daughter.

PP here. +1 my thoughts exactly!

+3

I am fully invested OP, let.us know what happens! Really want to know if it's important enough for him to do it himself.

Grew up with a dad like your dh and knew enough to *not* take weird OCD orders from my dh when he tried to pull that as well. Dad has all sorts of weird rules how things should be done and we had to do it over if it wasn't don't the exact way we wanted. Probably both my dad and my dh are smart guys on the higher end of the spectrum, but never diagnosed. At first the seem reasonable...but then they get used to giving "orders."

You started later, but hang in there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being toxic and petty. I read your other thread.

She’s truly a nasty piece of work and what’s worse is she is modeling that behavior for their impressionable teenage daughter.

PP here. +1 my thoughts exactly!

Anonymous wrote:You are being toxic and petty. I read your other thread.

She’s truly a nasty piece of work and what’s worse is she is modeling that behavior for their impressionable teenage daughter.

You are being toxic and petty. I read your other thread.

But what did he do? Did he shovel it?

I mean, if you were clever, you would have shoveled the roof. That would really stick it to him...

Anonymous wrote:Is there a backstory here?

I don't understand.
You and your 16 yo child were home and capable of shoveling. You should have known and done that before DH asked.

And yes a deck needs to be cleared of ice and snow unless you enjoy damage from a collapse and the related expenses

Do they make decks out of Kleenex where you are? This is nowhere near enough snow to make a deck collapse.

My DH will ASK me to do something. Or he will raise it -hey, I did XXXX, now can you do XXX so I don't have to do it all- which is normal and reasonable. He does not DIRECT me to do anything.

I'd laugh my a$$ off if he did. And vice versa.

Yeah this is not a great update. I feel bad for your DD having to be around this.

OP, you need to submit this to Carolyn Hax.

Anonymous wrote:By spring this is gonna be "He was cheating on me while I shoveled the deck!" and "I was so miserable because she wouldn't just shovel the deck; I had to cheat!"

I was just going to suggest she withhold sex but this will do, lol