Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pre-kids, on a 3day weekend I'd have taken off either Friday or Tuesday to stretch to four days, and gone to Mexico or Hawaii or Miami or somewhere. I'd have eaten amazing meals on the beach, danced until 2am, gone to a spa, done yoga on the beach, all weekend.

But now I have kids. Yesterday my kid had a meltdown because she didn't like her ballet bun. Then we went to brunch with two small children and then a 4 yr old's birthday party, before DD had a sleepover with three friends. We were up at 7am to work out and get dressed before making an avalanche of pancakes, eggs and cut up fruit. When one girl's parents arrived to pick her up her little sister darted upstairs and hid and four adults spent 15 minutes looking for a 5 yr old. Sorry - I'd rather be in Mexico on the beach.

+1. I am happy for people like OP. Because to me child rearing is drudgery. Many people feel like this and the proof is that you have to pay someone to watch your child. I love my children but do not think feeding them, changing diapers, carpooling, disciplining, and attending kid birthday parties is fun. If I didn’t have kids then this weekend I would have gone skiing, enjoyed nice restaurants and got plenty of sleep. Still glad I have a family but can’t understand someone who really thinks having kids is fun. I’m sure if you asked a woman in 1850 if child rearing is enjoyable she would have thought it was a dumb question. It’s like asking if working in the mines is fun.

Anonymous wrote:I miss the youth and freedom to make decisions only for myself. Be able to wake up late, take a spur of the moment trop (did far too few of those). But that was always going to end, whether i had kids or just all my friends. Kids are 4 and 8 and a lot of the drudgery is gone. Getting easier to just chill with them and be more on the go and meet them as their own people. Looking forward to more trips and experiences with them. Now wanting to work less and do more kid stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pre-kids, on a 3day weekend I'd have taken off either Friday or Tuesday to stretch to four days, and gone to Mexico or Hawaii or Miami or somewhere. I'd have eaten amazing meals on the beach, danced until 2am, gone to a spa, done yoga on the beach, all weekend.

But now I have kids. Yesterday my kid had a meltdown because she didn't like her ballet bun. Then we went to brunch with two small children and then a 4 yr old's birthday party, before DD had a sleepover with three friends. We were up at 7am to work out and get dressed before making an avalanche of pancakes, eggs and cut up fruit. When one girl's parents arrived to pick her up her little sister darted upstairs and hid and four adults spent 15 minutes looking for a 5 yr old. Sorry - I'd rather be in Mexico on the beach.

+1. I am happy for people like OP. Because to me child rearing is drudgery. Many people feel like this and the proof is that you have to pay someone to watch your child. I love my children but do not think feeding them, changing diapers, carpooling, disciplining, and attending kid birthday parties is fun. If I didn’t have kids then this weekend I would have gone skiing, enjoyed nice restaurants and got plenty of sleep. Still glad I have a family but can’t understand someone who really thinks having kids is fun. I’m sure if you asked a woman in 1850 if child rearing is enjoyable she would have thought it was a dumb question. It’s like asking if working in the mines is fun.

Maybe I enjoy what you think of as drudgery. I love the joy in the mundane every day activities like walks in the park chatting with my kid as we make dinner together, watching her play with her toys in the bath, baking cookies and reading books together in bed. When they were younger I also really liked breastfeeding and felt so connected.

In contrast, I generally don’t like what is typically seen as fun stuff like boozy brunches, skiiing, staying up late and partying.

I’m with you. I like the mundane stuff. I have friends without kids and while the traveling and fancy dinners they do look great, they enjoy it much more than I ever did. Most of the time I’d genuinely rather spend a low key weekend with my kids than be hopping on a plane or out late at a dinner.

Can't wait until we can have lowkey weekends with the kids! Our little boys need so much activity and stimulation. Not super fun in the winter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pre-kids, on a 3day weekend I'd have taken off either Friday or Tuesday to stretch to four days, and gone to Mexico or Hawaii or Miami or somewhere. I'd have eaten amazing meals on the beach, danced until 2am, gone to a spa, done yoga on the beach, all weekend.

But now I have kids. Yesterday my kid had a meltdown because she didn't like her ballet bun. Then we went to brunch with two small children and then a 4 yr old's birthday party, before DD had a sleepover with three friends. We were up at 7am to work out and get dressed before making an avalanche of pancakes, eggs and cut up fruit. When one girl's parents arrived to pick her up her little sister darted upstairs and hid and four adults spent 15 minutes looking for a 5 yr old. Sorry - I'd rather be in Mexico on the beach.

+1. I am happy for people like OP. Because to me child rearing is drudgery. Many people feel like this and the proof is that you have to pay someone to watch your child. I love my children but do not think feeding them, changing diapers, carpooling, disciplining, and attending kid birthday parties is fun. If I didn’t have kids then this weekend I would have gone skiing, enjoyed nice restaurants and got plenty of sleep. Still glad I have a family but can’t understand someone who really thinks having kids is fun. I’m sure if you asked a woman in 1850 if child rearing is enjoyable she would have thought it was a dumb question. It’s like asking if working in the mines is fun.

Maybe I enjoy what you think of as drudgery. I love the joy in the mundane every day activities like walks in the park chatting with my kid as we make dinner together, watching her play with her toys in the bath, baking cookies and reading books together in bed. When they were younger I also really liked breastfeeding and felt so connected.

In contrast, I generally don’t like what is typically seen as fun stuff like boozy brunches, skiiing, staying up late and partying.

I’m with you. I like the mundane stuff. I have friends without kids and while the traveling and fancy dinners they do look great, they enjoy it much more than I ever did. Most of the time I’d genuinely rather spend a low key weekend with my kids than be hopping on a plane or out late at a dinner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pre-kids, on a 3day weekend I'd have taken off either Friday or Tuesday to stretch to four days, and gone to Mexico or Hawaii or Miami or somewhere. I'd have eaten amazing meals on the beach, danced until 2am, gone to a spa, done yoga on the beach, all weekend.

But now I have kids. Yesterday my kid had a meltdown because she didn't like her ballet bun. Then we went to brunch with two small children and then a 4 yr old's birthday party, before DD had a sleepover with three friends. We were up at 7am to work out and get dressed before making an avalanche of pancakes, eggs and cut up fruit. When one girl's parents arrived to pick her up her little sister darted upstairs and hid and four adults spent 15 minutes looking for a 5 yr old. Sorry - I'd rather be in Mexico on the beach.

+1. I am happy for people like OP. Because to me child rearing is drudgery. Many people feel like this and the proof is that you have to pay someone to watch your child. I love my children but do not think feeding them, changing diapers, carpooling, disciplining, and attending kid birthday parties is fun. If I didn’t have kids then this weekend I would have gone skiing, enjoyed nice restaurants and got plenty of sleep. Still glad I have a family but can’t understand someone who really thinks having kids is fun. I’m sure if you asked a woman in 1850 if child rearing is enjoyable she would have thought it was a dumb question. It’s like asking if working in the mines is fun.

Maybe I enjoy what you think of as drudgery. I love the joy in the mundane every day activities like walks in the park chatting with my kid as we make dinner together, watching her play with her toys in the bath, baking cookies and reading books together in bed. When they were younger I also really liked breastfeeding and felt so connected.

In contrast, I generally don’t like what is typically seen as fun stuff like boozy brunches, skiiing, staying up late and partying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the phase you're in. Different kids are different levels of difficulty.

This. OP has easy kids but doesn’t know it. I haven’t slept more than 4 hours in a row, even once, in 3 years. I definitely miss my pre-kid life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pre-kids, on a 3day weekend I'd have taken off either Friday or Tuesday to stretch to four days, and gone to Mexico or Hawaii or Miami or somewhere. I'd have eaten amazing meals on the beach, danced until 2am, gone to a spa, done yoga on the beach, all weekend.

But now I have kids. Yesterday my kid had a meltdown because she didn't like her ballet bun. Then we went to brunch with two small children and then a 4 yr old's birthday party, before DD had a sleepover with three friends. We were up at 7am to work out and get dressed before making an avalanche of pancakes, eggs and cut up fruit. When one girl's parents arrived to pick her up her little sister darted upstairs and hid and four adults spent 15 minutes looking for a 5 yr old. Sorry - I'd rather be in Mexico on the beach.

+1. I am happy for people like OP. Because to me child rearing is drudgery. Many people feel like this and the proof is that you have to pay someone to watch your child. I love my children but do not think feeding them, changing diapers, carpooling, disciplining, and attending kid birthday parties is fun. If I didn’t have kids then this weekend I would have gone skiing, enjoyed nice restaurants and got plenty of sleep. Still glad I have a family but can’t understand someone who really thinks having kids is fun. I’m sure if you asked a woman in 1850 if child rearing is enjoyable she would have thought it was a dumb question. It’s like asking if working in the mines is fun.

Anonymous wrote:Pre-kids, on a 3day weekend I'd have taken off either Friday or Tuesday to stretch to four days, and gone to Mexico or Hawaii or Miami or somewhere. I'd have eaten amazing meals on the beach, danced until 2am, gone to a spa, done yoga on the beach, all weekend.

But now I have kids. Yesterday my kid had a meltdown because she didn't like her ballet bun. Then we went to brunch with two small children and then a 4 yr old's birthday party, before DD had a sleepover with three friends. We were up at 7am to work out and get dressed before making an avalanche of pancakes, eggs and cut up fruit. When one girl's parents arrived to pick her up her little sister darted upstairs and hid and four adults spent 15 minutes looking for a 5 yr old. Sorry - I'd rather be in Mexico on the beach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posts like this are so wretched and smug. Implicit in them is that lives without kids are empty and meaningless and that being a parent makes you a superior human being.

In fact, many parents are among the most selfish people on the planet because they only think of themselves and their kids as an extension of themselves.

We have four adult children. Three are married, and two of the three have children. The third married child doesn’t want kids, and the fourth doesn’t want either to get married or have kids. All four are happy with their choices and supportive of their siblings’ choices, and we are equally proud of all four. But there is no question that the two without children are doing more to help the broader society than the two with children - or, for that matter, than we ever could because we had children ourselves.

So, bottom line: stop patting yourself on the back and stop implicitly judging everyone else. You’re not that special.

Op here. I wrote this post after reading Fleishman is in trouble, with the character Libby pining for her life before kids and missing who she was before that. I just truly could not relate to what she was missing or why she was so unhappy, hence the post.