Anonymous
01/16/2024 09:54
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was a first gen student. I had zero interest in joining a sorority. Nobody in my social group growing up had any experience with them, so it was not on my radar.
Moving forward, my daughter is rushing this week. We are supporting her, a little reluctantly though. All the girls she has met her first semester are also rushing. Her school does not ask for recommendation letters from previous members, thank God, because we really don’t have those connections.
My question is, how disadvantaged is a first gen student who is rushing at one of the schools where they still ask for rec letters? Is that system in place to continue keeping the “poors” out of the greek system? Also, don’t get me started on how expensive some of those soroties cost. Just another reason why they are so out of reach for most first gen students.
Your daughter is not first gen. You were.
This post smells weird.
I am the OP. I never said my daughter was first gen. I was asking how do first gen students get rec letters at schools where these are mandatory? My daughter attends a school where rec letters are not required.
Anonymous
01/16/2024 09:49
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Do not drop before initiation and think you’re going to go through rush again the next year successfully. Would never happen.
Definitely happened at my SEC school. Sometimes they got into "top" houses too. We'd definitely figure it out (we would usually ask upperclassmen why they didn't previously rush/why they're rushing this year) but it's not necessarily a ding unless there are other red flags.
Anonymous
01/16/2024 09:43
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Do not drop before initiation and think you’re going to go through rush again the next year successfully. Would never happen.
how do you figure? I know several of my DD's friends who did just that and did end up rushing other houses successfully the next year. No one cares. Obviously, you will not rush the same house, but no one cares if someone dropped as long as it was before initiation.
Anonymous
01/16/2024 09:41
Subject: Sorority Rush
Do not drop before initiation and think you’re going to go through rush again the next year successfully. Would never happen.
Anonymous
01/16/2024 09:28
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tell your dd to “trust the process” and never limit herself when accepting invites for the next night (if she gets 4 invites for a 4 party night she should accept them all and not just the 2 she really wants).
“Trust the process” is the biggest crock of BS. It’s a $hit show for everyone and unless you know girls currently IN the houses, set your expectations very, very low. If you wouldn’t be happy joining the least desirable house, don’t rush.
well my DD had a very tough rush. Was a legacy at one house and on a rush crush list for another one that she had a friend from childhood in. Ended up being cut by almost all, including those two, after the first round. Had only her bottom ranked houses left, including one that she actually liked but was considered a "lower-middle tier" house that she had never heard of prior. Was VERY hard to tell her to "trust the process" having been cut for seemingly no reason but she did stay in rush and ended up at that one house that she liked. Two years later, she still wonders if it's the right place though she has a solid group of friends, she has not necessarily found "her home".
It's a brutal process and yes the girls need to be flexible on where they go, and realize that they can always drop before initiation if they don't like it, and rush again.
She is in rush now and tells me how girls come in and say "i don't need to be here" and give one word answers to her questions because they are not interested in the house. It's so rude and disappointing how some of us have raised our daughters. Those girls might find themselves with no options so the message is to always be polite and respectful no matter where you see yourself.
Anonymous
01/16/2024 08:42
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Tell your dd to “trust the process” and never limit herself when accepting invites for the next night (if she gets 4 invites for a 4 party night she should accept them all and not just the 2 she really wants).
“Trust the process” is the biggest crock of BS. It’s a $hit show for everyone and unless you know girls currently IN the houses, set your expectations very, very low. If you wouldn’t be happy joining the least desirable house, don’t rush.
Anonymous
01/16/2024 08:33
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:I was a first gen student. I had zero interest in joining a sorority. Nobody in my social group growing up had any experience with them, so it was not on my radar.
Moving forward, my daughter is rushing this week. We are supporting her, a little reluctantly though. All the girls she has met her first semester are also rushing. Her school does not ask for recommendation letters from previous members, thank God, because we really don’t have those connections.
My question is, how disadvantaged is a first gen student who is rushing at one of the schools where they still ask for rec letters? Is that system in place to continue keeping the “poors” out of the greek system? Also, don’t get me started on how expensive some of those soroties cost. Just another reason why they are so out of reach for most first gen students.
Your daughter is not first gen. You were.
This post smells weird.
Anonymous
01/16/2024 00:08
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:I was a first gen student. I had zero interest in joining a sorority. Nobody in my social group growing up had any experience with them, so it was not on my radar.
Moving forward, my daughter is rushing this week. We are supporting her, a little reluctantly though. All the girls she has met her first semester are also rushing. Her school does not ask for recommendation letters from previous members, thank God, because we really don’t have those connections.
My question is, how disadvantaged is a first gen student who is rushing at one of the schools where they still ask for rec letters? Is that system in place to continue keeping the “poors” out of the greek system? Also, don’t get me started on how expensive some of those soroties cost. Just another reason why they are so out of reach for most first gen students.
Wishing a fantastic rush experience for your DD, OP!
And I sincerely hope that the sisterhood she eventually joins will have an opportunity to win you over from your previous viewpoint. It’s hard to set biases aside, but I applaud you for supporting your DD in this endeavor, even if you don’t value it….yet. My hope is that you’ll find her experience to be an enriching one for her and that you’ll see evidence that not only will it strengthen her connection to her alma mater, but it will sharpen her academic focus and give her a community if women who support and champion her i efforts to follow her path and make a difference in her community…whatever that may be! And yes, there will be parties and fun and all that—as you’ll find all over camp mus. But Women supporting women across all generations, across all interests is what sororities do best. And fun fact: many sororities nowadays offer some form of alumna initiation that allows young women to extend offer of membership to their own mothers who are not already affiliated with a Greek organization! So this is even something you may be able to share with your daughter someday.
Anonymous
01/15/2024 22:40
Subject: Sorority Rush
Tell your dd to “trust the process” and never limit herself when accepting invites for the next night (if she gets 4 invites for a 4 party night she should accept them all and not just the 2 she really wants).
Anonymous
01/15/2024 22:23
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP. I just looked up the process and my group takes recommendations from non-members now. They have also gotten rid of legacy preference. I don't know how many other groups have done this but there have been a lot of changes recently in the greek system.
Which sorority has gotten rid of legacy preference?
Kappa Kappa Gamma, Kappa Alpha Theta, and IRC, Kappa Delta
Tri-Delta too
What about SnickerDoodleTriFecta?
Anonymous
01/15/2024 18:15
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP. I just looked up the process and my group takes recommendations from non-members now. They have also gotten rid of legacy preference. I don't know how many other groups have done this but there have been a lot of changes recently in the greek system.
Which sorority has gotten rid of legacy preference?
A number of them. It was in response to the wokeness wave.
It was NOT a response to "the wokeness wave." It is a response to the increasing number of PNMs who have legacy connections. A legacy can be a daughter, granddaughter, step daughter, sister or sometimes a niece. In that case, one PNM can be a legacy at multiple sororities and a sorority may have more legacies going through rush than there are spaces to put them in the pledge class. There wasn't enough space to take PNMs who are better matches for the group or who are better qualified. So, legacy preferences have been cut or scaled back. No one should get a free ride to membership. PNMs need to earn their place, regardless of who their mother is.
Well maybe, but my sorority listed “diversity” and “inclusion” as one of the reasons for this.
Anonymous
01/15/2024 17:22
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP. I just looked up the process and my group takes recommendations from non-members now. They have also gotten rid of legacy preference. I don't know how many other groups have done this but there have been a lot of changes recently in the greek system.
Which sorority has gotten rid of legacy preference?
Kappa Kappa Gamma, Kappa Alpha Theta, and IRC, Kappa Delta
Tri-Delta too
Anonymous
01/15/2024 14:05
Subject: Sorority Rush
Cowboys boots are alive and well on Southern campuses and happen to be trending now.
Anonymous
01/15/2024 14:03
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was a first gen student. I had zero interest in joining a sorority. Nobody in my social group growing up had any experience with them, so it was not on my radar.
Moving forward, my daughter is rushing this week. We are supporting her, a little reluctantly though. All the girls she has met her first semester are also rushing. Her school does not ask for recommendation letters from previous members, thank God, because we really don’t have those connections.
My question is, how disadvantaged is a first gen student who is rushing at one of the schools where they still ask for rec letters? Is that system in place to continue keeping the “poors” out of the greek system? Also, don’t get me started on how expensive some of those soroties cost. Just another reason why they are so out of reach for most first gen students.
Depends on the school. There's another thread about SMU rush right now that caught my eye because I grew up walking distance from SMU's campus (but did not go to school there); the system there is not so much about "keeping the 'poors' out" so much as keeping the people of a certain class and culture in -- which effectively keeps everyone else out. My DH who is from here (FFX) saw a picture of my niece with her sorority friends posing in identical outfits and they all had cowboy boots on and he asked me if wearing cowboy boots is a real thing in Texas. I laughed, and told him it is, but that isn't why they all have those boots -- I'd bet a lot of money that all of those girls have those boots because they ride in them, and have been riding at one of Texas's sorority feeder summer camps for years (sorority-feeder camps are a thing in TX). So it's not just "We're Texas girls, we wear expensive cowboy boots." It's "We're Texas girls who have been to the right summer camps where we wore these boots as we learned to ride and care for horses because it's a thing here that people of our class do." It's not just about money, it's about shared lived experiences (that most people cannot afford, and that some people who can afford are clueless about).
Some schools are not like this, and have at least some houses that embrace diversity and first gen students.
You’re way over thinking the boots. Plus, the boots that you ride in, are not the type of boots that you’d wear any time other than riding.
- A former Mystic camper/UT sorority girl with a sister/cousin and many friends who were in sororities at SMU and went to Mystic or Waldemar
Inaccurate.
Nope. If you’re a sorority girl at SMU, the western boots you wear at school are NOT your riding boots.
-Have owned several horses, was a rider from childhood-20s, attended one of these camps and was in a sorority. BTW, most girls stop going to camp by age 15-16 and don’t ride after that. The boots have nothing to do with camp or riding.
The boot habit does survive riding. But of course the pair worn to a football game with a cute outfit isn't going to be covered in muck or mud -- of course not. But they are going to be a clean version of the Lucchese or Tecovas worn for riding at camp -- probably in a "scotch" or "tan" -- not white or black. Although this is changing, I'm seeing more white boots these days (which just makes me think of the DC cheerleaders in their Lucchese). Agree most of us don't ride past 15 or so.
Anonymous
01/15/2024 13:36
Subject: Sorority Rush
Anonymous wrote:It’s chapter dependent. For example, if you’re not homegrown (from MA or AL) you’re not getting a bid at KD at Ole Miss or Bama.
MS