Anonymous
01/19/2024 22:13
Subject: Re:If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Love the posters defending sleep training as establishing a “life skill.” So self-serving. How about deep trust in their primary caregiver as a handy skill to have? Oh, and a body that isn’t flooded with cortisol from infancy….? I know I’d much rather enjoy those and be “taught to sleep” at age 2
lol. How many tin hats you have hiding back there?
Anonymous
01/19/2024 21:11
Subject: Re:If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Love the posters defending sleep training as establishing a “life skill.” So self-serving. How about deep trust in their primary caregiver as a handy skill to have? Oh, and a body that isn’t flooded with cortisol from infancy….? I know I’d much rather enjoy those and be “taught to sleep” at age 2
Anonymous
01/19/2024 20:41
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:My oldest is 10 and was also literally immune to sleep training. She still doesn’t sleep alone.
I hope I’m not headed there because my daughter cannot be sleep trained. Our ped said her daughter was the same, stubborn, didn’t ask for her (worked for her other two though!).
Anonymous
01/12/2024 19:39
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow
This thread is basically an advertisement for sleep training
I agree.
And people who clearly should not be parents.
Getting a good nights sleep is so important.
OP you really need parenting classes
People who think I'm a monster for letting my six month old cry for an hour for three nights, yet are ok with their kids being chronically sleep deprived for literal years. Make it make sense.
My kids were not sleep deprived and not were we. Kids slept with parents or parents slept with kids. Kids didn’t wake up and if they did they saw parents next to them and fell back asleep because they were not scared of being alone.
Everyone slept great and happy and nobody cared for hours for parents that never came. To each their own
Glad it worked out for you, but there are responses here talking about their kids waking several times a night for years. That is sleep deprivation, and extremely dangerous for brain development, not to mention the parents.
And what would you recommend? I know sleep deprivation is bad. My kid and I lived it for years. I tried everything to not have it happen and it still did. You can’t control everything in life. Just because I know sleep is important and I prioritized it and tried my best to sleep train and set us up for solid sleep doesn’t mean I can force my kid to sleep. We tried every method, we saw drs and specialists specifically about sleep issues. Nothing worked.
Some posters here seem to think if you just follow some formula you’ll get a good sleeper and if you have a bad sleeper that’s a reflection on you as a parent. Not in my experience.
This thread doesn't apply to you. You did sleep train. OP is asking about people who didn't sleep train. Which you did. Hello.
It does apply to me because sleep training wasn’t successful, which is what PPs who are criticizing parents of kids who don’t sleep well are saying is a parenting failure.
No, they're talking about parents who refuse to sleep train and have their six year olds waking four nights a week. That is a parenting failure. People who have kids who don't respond to sleep training aren't the issue. I know because I am one.
Anonymous
01/12/2024 19:36
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
6 months. It was either gonna be my baby or me. I was dying of exhaustion. I let him cry 1 night. He cried for 5 minutes and went to sleep. Slept through the night after that. Now, turns out he had adhd. So for many years the issue was getting him to wind down enough to go to bed. He’d be like a motorized engine at bedtime. Never laid down with him though
Anonymous
01/12/2024 19:32
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
This is what I take from this thread, and all the similar conversations on DCUM.
If you sleep train, and you end up with a kid who sleeps well, it's because you are an awesome parent.
If you attempt to sleep train, and you end up with a kid who resist, and struggle, it's because you have a hard kid and you get credit for crying.
If you don't sleep train, and do other things instead, and those things work, it's just that you had an easy kid and you get no credit.
If you don't sleep train, and your kid doesn't sleep well it's obviously completely your fault.
Do I have it right?
If you sleep train, and you end up with a kid who sleeps well, it's because you are an awesome parent.
If you attempt to sleep train, and you end up with a kid who resist, and struggle, it's because you have a hard kid and you get credit for crying.
If you don't sleep train, and do other things instead, and those things work, it's just that you had an easy kid and you get no credit.
If you don't sleep train, and your kid doesn't sleep well it's obviously completely your fault.
Do I have it right?
Anonymous
01/12/2024 19:27
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow
This thread is basically an advertisement for sleep training
I agree.
And people who clearly should not be parents.
Getting a good nights sleep is so important.
OP you really need parenting classes
People who think I'm a monster for letting my six month old cry for an hour for three nights, yet are ok with their kids being chronically sleep deprived for literal years. Make it make sense.
My kids were not sleep deprived and not were we. Kids slept with parents or parents slept with kids. Kids didn’t wake up and if they did they saw parents next to them and fell back asleep because they were not scared of being alone.
Everyone slept great and happy and nobody cared for hours for parents that never came. To each their own
Glad it worked out for you, but there are responses here talking about their kids waking several times a night for years. That is sleep deprivation, and extremely dangerous for brain development, not to mention the parents.
And what would you recommend? I know sleep deprivation is bad. My kid and I lived it for years. I tried everything to not have it happen and it still did. You can’t control everything in life. Just because I know sleep is important and I prioritized it and tried my best to sleep train and set us up for solid sleep doesn’t mean I can force my kid to sleep. We tried every method, we saw drs and specialists specifically about sleep issues. Nothing worked.
Some posters here seem to think if you just follow some formula you’ll get a good sleeper and if you have a bad sleeper that’s a reflection on you as a parent. Not in my experience.
This thread doesn't apply to you. You did sleep train. OP is asking about people who didn't sleep train. Which you did. Hello.
It does apply to me because sleep training wasn’t successful, which is what PPs who are criticizing parents of kids who don’t sleep well are saying is a parenting failure.
Anonymous
01/12/2024 18:17
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow
This thread is basically an advertisement for sleep training
I agree.
And people who clearly should not be parents.
Getting a good nights sleep is so important.
OP you really need parenting classes
People who think I'm a monster for letting my six month old cry for an hour for three nights, yet are ok with their kids being chronically sleep deprived for literal years. Make it make sense.
My kids were not sleep deprived and not were we. Kids slept with parents or parents slept with kids. Kids didn’t wake up and if they did they saw parents next to them and fell back asleep because they were not scared of being alone.
Everyone slept great and happy and nobody cared for hours for parents that never came. To each their own
Glad it worked out for you, but there are responses here talking about their kids waking several times a night for years. That is sleep deprivation, and extremely dangerous for brain development, not to mention the parents.
And what would you recommend? I know sleep deprivation is bad. My kid and I lived it for years. I tried everything to not have it happen and it still did. You can’t control everything in life. Just because I know sleep is important and I prioritized it and tried my best to sleep train and set us up for solid sleep doesn’t mean I can force my kid to sleep. We tried every method, we saw drs and specialists specifically about sleep issues. Nothing worked.
Some posters here seem to think if you just follow some formula you’ll get a good sleeper and if you have a bad sleeper that’s a reflection on you as a parent. Not in my experience.
My heart goes out to you. I’m the OP. Thank you for answering. Yes, this is our situation too. But I hate discussing the details with all the angry, cantankerous jerks with easy kids so I just shorten it to “no sleep training.” People with easy, good sleepers just don’t get it and I don’t bother arguing with them.
Anonymous
01/12/2024 17:36
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Kid 1 - 11 months. Kid 2 - 2.5 years.
Anonymous
01/12/2024 17:35
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow
This thread is basically an advertisement for sleep training
I agree.
And people who clearly should not be parents.
Getting a good nights sleep is so important.
OP you really need parenting classes
People who think I'm a monster for letting my six month old cry for an hour for three nights, yet are ok with their kids being chronically sleep deprived for literal years. Make it make sense.
My kids were not sleep deprived and not were we. Kids slept with parents or parents slept with kids. Kids didn’t wake up and if they did they saw parents next to them and fell back asleep because they were not scared of being alone.
Everyone slept great and happy and nobody cared for hours for parents that never came. To each their own
Glad it worked out for you, but there are responses here talking about their kids waking several times a night for years. That is sleep deprivation, and extremely dangerous for brain development, not to mention the parents.
And what would you recommend? I know sleep deprivation is bad. My kid and I lived it for years. I tried everything to not have it happen and it still did. You can’t control everything in life. Just because I know sleep is important and I prioritized it and tried my best to sleep train and set us up for solid sleep doesn’t mean I can force my kid to sleep. We tried every method, we saw drs and specialists specifically about sleep issues. Nothing worked.
Some posters here seem to think if you just follow some formula you’ll get a good sleeper and if you have a bad sleeper that’s a reflection on you as a parent. Not in my experience.
This thread doesn't apply to you. You did sleep train. OP is asking about people who didn't sleep train. Which you did. Hello.
Anonymous
01/12/2024 17:26
Subject: Re:If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sleep-trained babies and toddlers still wake up! They are just habituated to not bother their parents—and half the time the training "method" instructs parents to ignore wakeups anyway.
Also, waking up does not mean sleep deprivation for the child. (It definitely can for the adult). The child usually falls back asleep in about two minutes after soothing. Parents will use whatever lies they need to justify the cruelty of CIO—as if a few minutes of disrupted sleep compares with the affects of abandonment/panic on a child's nervous and hormonal systems.
To answer your question, OP, my kids slept through the night with no wakeups starting around 2. They still required attention to fall asleep until 4 or 5, but not to stay asleep.
Lady no one is talking about opening an eyelid or taking a piss. Sleep training is teaching your kid to go to sleep themselves. Essential life-skill, some may say.
It's a skill that every parent on this thread has said their kid mastered.
Anonymous
01/12/2024 16:51
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Wow
This thread is basically an advertisement for sleep training
I don't know, there are plenty of threads on here about how people sleep trained, but then their kid "forgets" the sleep training because they are in a hotel, or the kid doesn't feel well, or Grandma is visiting, or whatever. If we're going to hold non-sleep trained kids to the standard of "100%, never needs parents" then we need to hold the "sleep trained" ones to that too.
I can't answer the OP's question about one of my non-sleep-trained kids, because he was sleeping through the night by about 5 months, so he was excluded. The other one coslept. He stopped waking me up at night when he stopped nursing. When we moved into a place with two bedrooms, and he moved into his own room, I taught him to just come climb in bed with me if he woke in the night. So, he still didn't wake me up unless he was throwing up or something, but it was a few more years before he never came to us. And because he was used to sleeping in a room with other people, he didn't have trouble on trips, or when we had visitors, or if there wasn't a sound machine, or all the other reasons that people with sleep trained kids experience trouble.
Anonymous
01/12/2024 16:46
Subject: Re:If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:She stopped scream-crying every night around age 3.5 or so but is now almost 7 and still wakes in the night and calls for us or comes to our room to get us about 1x per week. It’s a lot easier now bc she isn’t screaming and crying like she used to be when younger but she still wants us to come “fix her blanket” or wants a hug and for us to sit w her for a few mins. Then every few months or so she’ll have a night where she wakes and wants us to come to her room multiple times. Just had a night like that last week. It was the night before they went back to school after winter break and I think she was nervous about school starting back which led her to wake up and want a parent to stay w her 5-6x in one night. She’s in first grade.
Oh and we didn’t intentionally not sleep train her. We tried. Oh how we tried. It just never worked. We tried every sleep training method there is and we tried repeatedly—probably every few months from the time she was 4 months old. It never worked. None of the methods made any difference. We even went to a sleep consultant/specialist. We have other kids who we either successfully sleep trained (child #3) or else never had to sleep train bc they always slept well (child #1).
Thanks for answering. Did there turn out to be anything…wrong with her? Emotionally, physically, mentally? Autism, SPD, etc?
She is neurotypical and a great kid. Smart, funny, creative, very sweet and kind, has lots of friends, does very well in school, is a great dancer and very coordinated and strong physically, very healthy. She is on the sensitive side and is a bit shy. Otherwise totally normal easy kid now at age 7. She is a lot easier behaviorally than her older brother who is my great sleeper since he was born kid!
Anonymous
01/12/2024 16:42
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow
This thread is basically an advertisement for sleep training
I agree.
And people who clearly should not be parents.
Getting a good nights sleep is so important.
OP you really need parenting classes
People who think I'm a monster for letting my six month old cry for an hour for three nights, yet are ok with their kids being chronically sleep deprived for literal years. Make it make sense.
My kids were not sleep deprived and not were we. Kids slept with parents or parents slept with kids. Kids didn’t wake up and if they did they saw parents next to them and fell back asleep because they were not scared of being alone.
Everyone slept great and happy and nobody cared for hours for parents that never came. To each their own
Glad it worked out for you, but there are responses here talking about their kids waking several times a night for years. That is sleep deprivation, and extremely dangerous for brain development, not to mention the parents.
And what would you recommend? I know sleep deprivation is bad. My kid and I lived it for years. I tried everything to not have it happen and it still did. You can’t control everything in life. Just because I know sleep is important and I prioritized it and tried my best to sleep train and set us up for solid sleep doesn’t mean I can force my kid to sleep. We tried every method, we saw drs and specialists specifically about sleep issues. Nothing worked.
Some posters here seem to think if you just follow some formula you’ll get a good sleeper and if you have a bad sleeper that’s a reflection on you as a parent. Not in my experience.
Anonymous
01/12/2024 16:38
Subject: If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow
This thread is basically an advertisement for sleep training
I agree.
And people who clearly should not be parents.
Getting a good nights sleep is so important.
OP you really need parenting classes
People who think I'm a monster for letting my six month old cry for an hour for three nights, yet are ok with their kids being chronically sleep deprived for literal years. Make it make sense.
It seems like you think letting a 6 month old cry it out for an hr 3 nights works as a sleep training method for everyone and then their kid just sleeps solidly from then on? I’m here to tell you: it doesn’t. We did that. Didn’t work. Kid didn’t reliably STTN til age 3. No, we weren’t ok w kid (or parents) being chronically sleep deprived. But until you’ve had a kid who resists every sleep training method, don’t judge other parents who have been in that situation. You apparently got lucky w an easy baby who sleep trained in 3 nights at age 6 months. We had a baby like that too. We also had another baby for whom that didn’t work. So…STFU