Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He likes to “make love” which I also want to do, but I also like adventurous, imaginative, vigorous, wild sex. This seems to be new territory for him. I really enjoy the latter and don’t want to give it up, but I love him. Can this be taught or inspired?

I assume he was the one who asked you out and pursued you

Yes. He has taken the lead with advancing each stage of the relationship; not bc I can’t but bc I believe a man who wants you will do something about it so I wanted to see if he would.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can you lead the wild vigorous sex? From your mention about the bigger/taller priors I assume that it isnt just the force, tempo, etc. it is actually being dominated physically that is appealing.

This! Get on top and control the tempo.

OP. Being on top has never done much for me. I do it for variety and to give him a break.

OP, you’ve been given plenty of suggestions and don’t seem open to any of them. Are you one of those women who is a starfish? And expects the guy to do everything?

Anonymous wrote:He likes to “make love” which I also want to do, but I also like adventurous, imaginative, vigorous, wild sex. This seems to be new territory for him. I really enjoy the latter and don’t want to give it up, but I love him. Can this be taught or inspired?

I assume he was the one who asked you out and pursued you

Maybe he’s more submissive.

You can marry him, but you likely will need to get your kinky needs met elsewhere if he’s not really responding to your suggestions. There’s only so much you can teach if he’s not willing to take control and enthusiastically embrace it.

You should have an ENM and explore this side with another person who is more naturally inclined to enjoy these activities.

Rough him up a little. If you’re about the same size wrestle him into a position you’d like use. No man is going to turn down a highly aroused woman and he will follow along. Once in awhile my libido goes crazy and my husband is the beneficiary.

It can be taught. Speaking as a male who learned to take charge like this at age 39. Just need to be comfortable talking about what you like and willing to work on it. I actually prefer to be submissive myself but I do the dominant thing because she likes and it…and she told me what she likes and how she likes it and I tried all those things and slowly gained confidence.

Anonymous wrote:The obvious answer is to tell him what you want.

This.

I've been thinking about myself. With most women, I'm a "make love" lover. But with a few women I'm a pin-her-against-the-refrigerator type. Why the difference? I don't think it's the size of the woman. I think it's my fear of hurting some of them. I tend to do the rougher stuff if they're already turned on and obviously aroused. I have trouble turning them on by doing rough stuff because I don't want to hurt them. I have no fear of that when they're already very lubricated and loud. I myself tend to get very aroused after the woman is very aroused. So if she can't get very aroused until I'm excited, we have a problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you’re dying to lick his a** while he jacks it.

That’s an act of submission that will bring out the male aggression

Or as soon as he walks in the door, drop to your knees and get him out. In between licks, tell him you want him to c*m on your face. You’ll get the same response .

He told me he had never arrived from oral. I was dumbfounded.

Sometimes it’s hard to get out of your head and let it go, most women are pretty bad at it too.

This is true. Most women think they’re fantastic at BJs when they’re really awful.

Pro-tip: if you’re doing it and after a hot minute your guy moves you off to do something else, you’re not great at it.

My wife stops after about a minute and I’m just getting going. I don’t complain because we move on to other things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you’re dying to lick his a** while he jacks it.

That’s an act of submission that will bring out the male aggression

Or as soon as he walks in the door, drop to your knees and get him out. In between licks, tell him you want him to c*m on your face. You’ll get the same response .

He told me he had never arrived from oral. I was dumbfounded.

Two things
1. Did he use the word arrived? If so just work on dirty talk.

2. I would accept that as challenge

Do you play rough with him ever, OP? When I’m making passionate rougher live with my partner, it usually stems from playful wrestling which then continues with one of us getting our way and winning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you’re dying to lick his a** while he jacks it.

That’s an act of submission that will bring out the male aggression

Or as soon as he walks in the door, drop to your knees and get him out. In between licks, tell him you want him to c*m on your face. You’ll get the same response .

He told me he had never arrived from oral. I was dumbfounded.

Sometimes it’s hard to get out of your head and let it go, most women are pretty bad at it too.

This is true. Most women think they’re fantastic at BJs when they’re really awful.

Pro-tip: if you’re doing it and after a hot minute your guy moves you off to do something else, you’re not great at it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you’re dying to lick his a** while he jacks it.

That’s an act of submission that will bring out the male aggression

Or as soon as he walks in the door, drop to your knees and get him out. In between licks, tell him you want him to c*m on your face. You’ll get the same response .

He told me he had never arrived from oral. I was dumbfounded.

Sometimes it’s hard to get out of your head and let it go, most women are pretty bad at it too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can you lead the wild vigorous sex? From your mention about the bigger/taller priors I assume that it isnt just the force, tempo, etc. it is actually being dominated physically that is appealing.

This! Get on top and control the tempo.

OP. Being on top has never done much for me. I do it for variety and to give him a break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you’re dying to lick his a** while he jacks it.

That’s an act of submission that will bring out the male aggression

Or as soon as he walks in the door, drop to your knees and get him out. In between licks, tell him you want him to c*m on your face. You’ll get the same response .

He told me he had never arrived from oral. I was dumbfounded.