Anonymous
12/27/2023 19:10
Subject: Re:Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Anonymous wrote:This isn’t the season of life for travel. Adults tend to have more vacation time and money as they get older, and your kids will be much better travelers in a couple of years.
Chiming in with the same sentiment: right now, accept that you’re in a different season of life.
I’m in the same boat. I can’t beat myself up for not having a big enough budget or enough time off. I am grateful that I had a time for that pre-kids, when DH and I lived in Brussels and Cairo and took many side trips and explored.
Now I’m back to American amounts of PTO and have a kid in college and another in HS. But I’m not forgetting that it’s a priority—setting aside money and prioritizing my spending accordingly, and staying in shape so that when I do have time to adventure, I’ll be fit enough to do it.
There’s a woman at my office who is my inspiration. She retired at 60 then came back 2 days/wk. She can take unpaid time whenever she wants. She collects her pension and earns enough to fund her travel. Right now she’s in South Africa, in November she was in Spain, and she’s going to New Zealand next year.
Goals!
Anonymous
12/27/2023 18:59
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
You are only 40…many people travel well into their 70s.
Make sure you take care of your health. In the next few years where you may be tied to home a bit, prioritize your health & DHs health to help you live longer.
Then once your kids hit about 10 - go! Do smaller trips now (ie Latin America) & bigger trips then. 2 weeks anywhere is great. If DH still has a restrictive schedule, he can go with you for the first wk & then fly back.
If you prepare your kids to travel, you will have a great adventure with them. I have a friend who travels with her teen & middleschooler a lot - pretty much every summer & winter break. They have literally been everywhere. It is possible, but you must be healthy, have the budget, & raise kids who are adventurous.
Make sure you take care of your health. In the next few years where you may be tied to home a bit, prioritize your health & DHs health to help you live longer.
Then once your kids hit about 10 - go! Do smaller trips now (ie Latin America) & bigger trips then. 2 weeks anywhere is great. If DH still has a restrictive schedule, he can go with you for the first wk & then fly back.
If you prepare your kids to travel, you will have a great adventure with them. I have a friend who travels with her teen & middleschooler a lot - pretty much every summer & winter break. They have literally been everywhere. It is possible, but you must be healthy, have the budget, & raise kids who are adventurous.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 18:02
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I've been passionate about international travel since I first won a scholarship for a summer abroad program in high school. I chose my college based on the study abroad options. I met my husband while studying abroad and we shared our dreams of exploring the entire world.
Then, after college, both of us took intense jobs since we had no money. We could only take one longer trip a year, and only for a week at a time, so we stuck to different European countries.
Then I had my first kid and switched to an easier job. I got to travel more, but again stuck to US/Caribbean/Europe because DH couldn't take off longer than a week and I thought going to Asia, Africa, etc with a small child by myself would be too hard. Then, kid got older and we had kid #2. Now DH is exhausted and barely wants to travel at all, Kid #1 is in school and we don't want to pull her out too much, kid #2 is a cranky threenager, and I am pushing 40 and have still never been anywhere in Asia, Australia/NZ, Africa, or Latin America.
We don't have anyone to watch the younger one overnight, so we can't travel without her. My DH is occasionally willing to watch both kids so I can go somewhere, but again, for just 5-6 days max. Plus, 2-3 week trips to far flung places with a whole family are so expensive, esp since our kids need a separate room or they won't sleep.
I am feeling like I messed up my life somehow...maybe by having kids too early or not just being a SAHM with total flexibility, or I don't know what. I really, really want to see the world before I get old. Any advice?
It's not the American way, but maybe you can encourage your kids to take their big OE after college and before marrying or buying a house. The Big OE is "overseas experience" typically taken by Australians, New Zealanders and Brits when they are young and have access to working holiday visas.
Given your current family situation you may have to do your OE later once they get to college.
Don't discount the value of domestic travel either. Even though we've dragged out kids to visit our families abroad to places on your bucket list, some of our most enjoyable trips have been to US national parks.
Ditto on domestic travel, especially parks. International travel is fine, sometimes great, but it’s not always better.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 17:46
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Where did you go wrong?
You married a dude who gets basically no PTO.
You’re not extraordinary wealthy.
And you had children.
Big emphasis on the children.
Love my life as a DINK.
You married a dude who gets basically no PTO.
You’re not extraordinary wealthy.
And you had children.
Big emphasis on the children.
Love my life as a DINK.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 17:45
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Anonymous wrote:I've been passionate about international travel since I first won a scholarship for a summer abroad program in high school. I chose my college based on the study abroad options. I met my husband while studying abroad and we shared our dreams of exploring the entire world.
Then, after college, both of us took intense jobs since we had no money. We could only take one longer trip a year, and only for a week at a time, so we stuck to different European countries.
Then I had my first kid and switched to an easier job. I got to travel more, but again stuck to US/Caribbean/Europe because DH couldn't take off longer than a week and I thought going to Asia, Africa, etc with a small child by myself would be too hard. Then, kid got older and we had kid #2. Now DH is exhausted and barely wants to travel at all, Kid #1 is in school and we don't want to pull her out too much, kid #2 is a cranky threenager, and I am pushing 40 and have still never been anywhere in Asia, Australia/NZ, Africa, or Latin America.
We don't have anyone to watch the younger one overnight, so we can't travel without her. My DH is occasionally willing to watch both kids so I can go somewhere, but again, for just 5-6 days max. Plus, 2-3 week trips to far flung places with a whole family are so expensive, esp since our kids need a separate room or they won't sleep.
I am feeling like I messed up my life somehow...maybe by having kids too early or not just being a SAHM with total flexibility, or I don't know what. I really, really want to see the world before I get old. Any advice?
It's not the American way, but maybe you can encourage your kids to take their big OE after college and before marrying or buying a house. The Big OE is "overseas experience" typically taken by Australians, New Zealanders and Brits when they are young and have access to working holiday visas.
Given your current family situation you may have to do your OE later once they get to college.
Don't discount the value of domestic travel either. Even though we've dragged out kids to visit our families abroad to places on your bucket list, some of our most enjoyable trips have been to US national parks.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 17:42
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I wanted to see the world too - and maybe someday I’ll win the lottery and have the opportunity.
In the meantime, with hdtv and the internet, you and your kids can see more of the world from your own home than most humans who ever lived - and without contributing to the impact on climate change that all the travel from tourism creates.
Count your blessings until your situation changes, or in case it doesn’t.
I went to Machu Picchu via YouTube and didn't get altitude sickness or travel diarrhea. I also toured the
Forum in Rome with a professional guide for free the same way. I'm happy. My grandparents survived with National Geographic magazine.
My grandfather also saw the world through National Geographic. He had plenty of money and time, but never did any real travel. Though he never traveled, was one of the more worldly and well read persons I knew.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 17:40
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Op you seem to whine and complain a lot, even when people have suggestions. You're standing in your own way.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 17:36
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Anonymous wrote:I wanted to see the world too - and maybe someday I’ll win the lottery and have the opportunity.
In the meantime, with hdtv and the internet, you and your kids can see more of the world from your own home than most humans who ever lived - and without contributing to the impact on climate change that all the travel from tourism creates.
Count your blessings until your situation changes, or in case it doesn’t.
I went to Machu Picchu via YouTube and didn't get altitude sickness or travel diarrhea. I also toured the
Forum in Rome with a professional guide for free the same way. I'm happy. My grandparents survived with National Geographic magazine.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 17:29
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
You have a teen and a 3yo? Maybe once the older one is in college.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 17:22
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Anonymous wrote:May I suggest sleepaway camp for the kids? Then you and DH go on a trip you want while they are at camp
That works for older one, plus grandparents are happy to watch him too, but there are no such options for the 3-year-old.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 16:30
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
May I suggest sleepaway camp for the kids? Then you and DH go on a trip you want while they are at camp
Anonymous
12/27/2023 16:25
Subject: Re:Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
I get it. I thought we'd travel all over with our kids. They are now just turning 14 and 11 and we're only this summer planning our first trip out of the country! For us, covid happened right when they were getting old enough to enjoy and remember a bigger trip (they were 7 and 10). And now airline prices are so expensive! Then you add in that my older son is on a competitive travel sports team which severely limits the times of year we can travel and the length of time we can be gone.
It's disappointing, but at the same time, I'm hoping that my spouse and I can travel on our own once the kids are in college. We'll be in our mid-50s and at our highest earning. But I get where you're coming from.
It's disappointing, but at the same time, I'm hoping that my spouse and I can travel on our own once the kids are in college. We'll be in our mid-50s and at our highest earning. But I get where you're coming from.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 16:20
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
You'll get there. You are making decisions based on what your current self wants, not what your teenage self wants. FWIW, we do those kinds of trips with our family and it's not the kind of eye opening experience it was when I was I'm my 20s.
Anonymous
12/27/2023 16:12
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
I started traveling for 2-3 weeks at a time with the kids only (DH won't or can't take off that much at once) when they were about 5 & 6. I work in academia and can pretty much take all of August off, so it's what worked.
We go "backpacker" style- they always had to carry their own gear, and we move every few nights or so to really see a country.
Now they are older teenagers and not that interested in traveling with old mom
We go "backpacker" style- they always had to carry their own gear, and we move every few nights or so to really see a country.
Now they are older teenagers and not that interested in traveling with old mom
Anonymous
12/27/2023 16:06
Subject: Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?
Traveling sucks