Anonymous
Post 12/28/2023 11:13     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.


OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.

But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.


You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.

Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?

You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.


You just wanted to be nasty didn't you?


NP. Didn't sound particularly nasty to me. A bit abrupt, maybe.

Mine is over the moon with ED acceptance (lottery winner). But, even she kind of had a moment wondering if it is the right choice with it all being over so fast. She got over that pretty quickly, but I think the fact that they work so hard with other plans while they are waiting makes it a little weird when it's all over so suddenly.

But, so glad my kid can relax and just do school and fun. Phew!
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2023 11:01     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMDCP has an excellent economics department, which is T20 for that field and is not a stretch like HYPS.


without hooks HYPS is a crapshoot


But DC actually had a hook, that's part of the regret. Not many have a hook to HYPSM and DC did but didn't use it.


I think you need to remind them why they applied ED in the first place AND highlight that there are times in life when you have to made a choice like this, that could mean shutting another door and that you have to just move on. It's also question whether their "regret" is purely status driven with all the "what if". If so, squash that now...it's not a "good look". They got into a T20 and should be proud and happy and not look back.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2023 10:56     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:I know several kids like this.

I don't understand the "ED let us enjoy senior year". Really, all kids have to mostly finish all apps in case ED doesn't work out. At our HS, you sort of have to have them done by Dec 1. So I get that there may be a couple supplemental essays to do over xmas if you don't do ED (or if it doesn't work out), but otherwise, you're done either way.

Then you enjoy your senior year! The RD pool is exciting. You gets Yeses and Nos usually, but nearly always a few of each. For the first time, the power shifts to the kid. Colleges are courting you with lots of overnights and local events. You get to compare financial packages. It's great.

I've had kids do ED and RD and I prefer the RD experience


The "enjoy senior year" is about not feeling stressed or anxious about uncertainty from Dec to April. If you get in ED to a top choice - you have a win. It's a huge weight on these kid's minds.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2023 10:55     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMDCP has an excellent economics department, which is T20 for that field and is not a stretch like HYPS.


without hooks HYPS is a crapshoot


But DC actually had a hook, that's part of the regret. Not many have a hook to HYPSM and DC did but didn't use it.


If DC's the one bringing up that hook now, well, it's water under the proverbial bridge, and I'd gently steer DC away from that thinking. Why did DC prefer the ED school to begin with? What programs/majors caught DC's attention? What about the campus or campus life was attractive enough to merit that ED? And so on.

Does the ED college have an "accepted students day" in the spring? Look now and see if one is scheduled; if not, keep checking, get on the mailing list for it and register for it ASAP. Make the trip there to attend it. It'll be worth the effort. Your DC needs a shot of rah-rah and a fun visit to campus, and at an accepted students' weekend or day, will meet other rising freshmen who will be there in the fall. That could help a lot.


I've actually been wondering this - do ED students get invited to admitted students day? or is that just for students accepted RD who are trying to decide?


PP to whom you're responding. As someone noted, yes, ED students do go to "prospective students' days" as I'd call them. But I'm not referring to the days--usually held in the fall -- for prospective students, who have been accepted by the college but haven't said yes to the offer yet (unless they're ED).

I'm thinking instead of what my DC's college did (and I know others do it too), in the spring of HS senior year after students have accepted offers, when students who are definitely attending the college come for a weekend of specialized tours, talks, events, etc. Not aimed at students who are still deciding but at HS seniors who have said yes to the school's offer (ED, RD or anything else). It was a great experience for our DC and for us too because DC's SLAC encouraged parents and family members to come as well and had programming for us, separate from that for our DC/rising college student. All the pressure of "I have to decide whether to say yes to this place" is gone by that point, and the students can just enjoy being there.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2023 10:54     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Fact is, your DC probably wouldn't have gotten into either school during RD. (<<This is not meant as a mean statement)

It's very easy to have "what if" thoughts, but there is a reason your child used ED in the first place....admissions to those schools is HIGHLY selective.

Move on and enjoy senior year.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2023 10:49     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.


OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.

But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.


You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.

Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?

You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.


You just wanted to be nasty didn't you?


DP: how is that nasty? The daughter was smart enough to pick ED that was NOT the legacy HYPSM. That means she already knew which was a better fit for her. The kid already made that choice---without the parental nudging I doubt there is "what if " concerns.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2023 10:48     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.


OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.

But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.


You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.

Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?

You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.


THIS^^^^ Listen to your kid when they tell you which school is a good fit for them. DOn't make them apply ED (or at all really) to a school just for it's prestige. Just look at the parents on here who attended T20 schools/HYPSM 20-30 years ago and mention how it wasn't the best fit and they wished they'd attended the SLAC or their other choices that were better fits.

I want my kid to enjoy their undergrad experience. I recognize that what they do, their level of engagement while at college has much more to do with their success than the "prestige" of the school. So we let our kids pick the best fit for them schools.
Anonymous
Post 12/28/2023 10:44     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:ED is mentally tough for all. If you don’t get it, you feel you “wasted” your ED shot by aiming too high. If you do get it, you wonder if you should have aimed higher. I think your child will work through this and get excited again. But I also think their emotions are totally normal and justified.

ED1 was perfect for us. DS is thrilled. Not “mentally tough” at all. Just the opposite.


ED1 is "perfect" if that is by far your only TOP choice. If you have a few that your kid really likes, then even if they picked one it is natural to feel "buyer's remorse".
It also sucks if it is by far the top choice and you get deferred. Then you have to decide, do I wait for April or pick an ED2 with my 2nd choice. That's what happened to my kid. They decided to wait and were rejected ultimately. Thankfully they got into what would have been their ED2 choice and are attending happily.



Ohhh that does sound like a really hard choice. Glad it worked out in the end.


Deep down, I knew my kid was not getting into their ED1 choice....accetpance rates in single digits and my kid is not 1580/15 APs/cure cancer ECs. It was my alma mater and it is a great school, but ultimately I thought they would be happier where they ended up (where they ended up is T40, but more collaborative and not as cut throat environment) . Thankfully it worked out. They are thriving at their school
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2023 23:33     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
20+ years ago I was thrilled to get into my ED school and actually received my acceptance letter on my birthday! My only second thought (to this day) is if I would have gotten in with more aid had I not gone ED. I'm still unclear if that's a consideration for Admissions Offices when they are putting their packages together.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2023 23:26     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.


OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.

But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.


You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.

Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?

You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.


You just wanted to be nasty didn't you?
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2023 23:26     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMDCP has an excellent economics department, which is T20 for that field and is not a stretch like HYPS.


without hooks HYPS is a crapshoot


But DC actually had a hook, that's part of the regret. Not many have a hook to HYPSM and DC did but didn't use it.


If DC's the one bringing up that hook now, well, it's water under the proverbial bridge, and I'd gently steer DC away from that thinking. Why did DC prefer the ED school to begin with? What programs/majors caught DC's attention? What about the campus or campus life was attractive enough to merit that ED? And so on.

Does the ED college have an "accepted students day" in the spring? Look now and see if one is scheduled; if not, keep checking, get on the mailing list for it and register for it ASAP. Make the trip there to attend it. It'll be worth the effort. Your DC needs a shot of rah-rah and a fun visit to campus, and at an accepted students' weekend or day, will meet other rising freshmen who will be there in the fall. That could help a lot.


I've actually been wondering this - do ED students get invited to admitted students day? or is that just for students accepted RD who are trying to decide?



Depends on the school. My kid last year was not.
Yes ED students are invited.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2023 23:22     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.


OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.

But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.


You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.

Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?

You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2023 23:13     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.


OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.

But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2023 23:10     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMDCP has an excellent economics department, which is T20 for that field and is not a stretch like HYPS.


without hooks HYPS is a crapshoot


But DC actually had a hook, that's part of the regret. Not many have a hook to HYPSM and DC did but didn't use it.


If DC's the one bringing up that hook now, well, it's water under the proverbial bridge, and I'd gently steer DC away from that thinking. Why did DC prefer the ED school to begin with? What programs/majors caught DC's attention? What about the campus or campus life was attractive enough to merit that ED? And so on.

Does the ED college have an "accepted students day" in the spring? Look now and see if one is scheduled; if not, keep checking, get on the mailing list for it and register for it ASAP. Make the trip there to attend it. It'll be worth the effort. Your DC needs a shot of rah-rah and a fun visit to campus, and at an accepted students' weekend or day, will meet other rising freshmen who will be there in the fall. That could help a lot.


I've actually been wondering this - do ED students get invited to admitted students day? or is that just for students accepted RD who are trying to decide?


Yes ED students are invited.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2023 23:04     Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMDCP has an excellent economics department, which is T20 for that field and is not a stretch like HYPS.


without hooks HYPS is a crapshoot


But DC actually had a hook, that's part of the regret. Not many have a hook to HYPSM and DC did but didn't use it.


If DC's the one bringing up that hook now, well, it's water under the proverbial bridge, and I'd gently steer DC away from that thinking. Why did DC prefer the ED school to begin with? What programs/majors caught DC's attention? What about the campus or campus life was attractive enough to merit that ED? And so on.

Does the ED college have an "accepted students day" in the spring? Look now and see if one is scheduled; if not, keep checking, get on the mailing list for it and register for it ASAP. Make the trip there to attend it. It'll be worth the effort. Your DC needs a shot of rah-rah and a fun visit to campus, and at an accepted students' weekend or day, will meet other rising freshmen who will be there in the fall. That could help a lot.


I've actually been wondering this - do ED students get invited to admitted students day? or is that just for students accepted RD who are trying to decide?