Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 12:33     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!


I don’t think an 8 year old should ever reprimand an adult. Why is a child reprimanding the sister-in-law at all?


She isn't. OP corrected "by" to "my" on page one.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 12:32     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Posters who are supporting SIL did not pick up on the fact that SIL wouldn't shut up about it. That makes her in the wrong.

Also, and this seems so obvious but the Southern Belles can't accept it apparently, but if Susie is fine with Susie and not Aunt Susie, then the kid is fine!!!



This. If it’s cultural norm down there then at most a “Hey Larla, I think you meant to say Aunt Susie” should suffice, no one needs a lecture.


+1
A gentle correction is fine but to keep harping on it is rude and overstepping.


I don't get where the SIL kept up at it. OP didn't even respond but MIL got up to "diffuse" which seems like it escalated the situation (or spread it around?, but certainly didn't defuse anything, and then SIL left the room. Doesn't sound like this was a big deal yet OP is still fuming about the audacity of her child being reprimanded. Sounds like everyone was on edge and this gathering.


She said on the original post that MIL stepped in to diffuse but “SIL kept at it”.


Yes b/c the MIL was a buttinsky and made it worse. Then SIL left. Sounds like it was between MIL and SIL.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 12:06     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:If she doesn’t want to say aunt then miss will work.


Dude it’s not 1867
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 12:00     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Posters who are supporting SIL did not pick up on the fact that SIL wouldn't shut up about it. That makes her in the wrong.

Also, and this seems so obvious but the Southern Belles can't accept it apparently, but if Susie is fine with Susie and not Aunt Susie, then the kid is fine!!!



This. If it’s cultural norm down there then at most a “Hey Larla, I think you meant to say Aunt Susie” should suffice, no one needs a lecture.


+1
A gentle correction is fine but to keep harping on it is rude and overstepping.


I don't get where the SIL kept up at it. OP didn't even respond but MIL got up to "diffuse" which seems like it escalated the situation (or spread it around?, but certainly didn't defuse anything, and then SIL left the room. Doesn't sound like this was a big deal yet OP is still fuming about the audacity of her child being reprimanded. Sounds like everyone was on edge and this gathering.


She said on the original post that MIL stepped in to diffuse but “SIL kept at it”.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 11:58     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Posters who are supporting SIL did not pick up on the fact that SIL wouldn't shut up about it. That makes her in the wrong.

Also, and this seems so obvious but the Southern Belles can't accept it apparently, but if Susie is fine with Susie and not Aunt Susie, then the kid is fine!!!



This. If it’s cultural norm down there then at most a “Hey Larla, I think you meant to say Aunt Susie” should suffice, no one needs a lecture.


+1
A gentle correction is fine but to keep harping on it is rude and overstepping.


I don't get where the SIL kept up at it. OP didn't even respond but MIL got up to "diffuse" which seems like it escalated the situation (or spread it around?, but certainly didn't defuse anything, and then SIL left the room. Doesn't sound like this was a big deal yet OP is still fuming about the audacity of her child being reprimanded. Sounds like everyone was on edge and this gathering.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 11:55     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Posters who are supporting SIL did not pick up on the fact that SIL wouldn't shut up about it. That makes her in the wrong.

Also, and this seems so obvious but the Southern Belles can't accept it apparently, but if Susie is fine with Susie and not Aunt Susie, then the kid is fine!!!



This. If it’s cultural norm down there then at most a “Hey Larla, I think you meant to say Aunt Susie” should suffice, no one needs a lecture.


+1
A gentle correction is fine but to keep harping on it is rude and overstepping.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 11:33     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!


I do not allow children to call me by my first name. It's either Aunt Sally, Miss Dolly, or Mrs. Smith
Teach your child some manners!

Oh please, to each their own and it’s personal preference not manners. I don’t like to be called aunt and thankfully have never been called that. In general, if someone reminds someone once/corrects them, that is fine. If they do it more than once, it’s rude
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 11:32     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:Posters who are supporting SIL did not pick up on the fact that SIL wouldn't shut up about it. That makes her in the wrong.

Also, and this seems so obvious but the Southern Belles can't accept it apparently, but if Susie is fine with Susie and not Aunt Susie, then the kid is fine!!!



This. If it’s cultural norm down there then at most a “Hey Larla, I think you meant to say Aunt Susie” should suffice, no one needs a lecture.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 11:29     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!


I don’t think an 8 year old should ever reprimand an adult. Why is a child reprimanding the sister-in-law at all?
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 11:25     Subject: Re:What would you have said?
I teach my kids to use aunt/uncle titles and prefer to be called the same but don’t consider it a hill to die on by any means.

I think the level of correction expected etc really depends on what is normal for your family. This level of correction would definitely be an overstep in both my family and DH’s. Other adults will definitely step in if a kid is doing something dangerous (toddler playing with something he shouldn’t etc) or if there is a squabble between the kids or similar. But not for something like this, particularly not at that age. I’d be annoyed. But- other families are different.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 11:08     Subject: What would you have said?
Indian?
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 10:33     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op - we are in nyc and all of these rules are completely foreign and bizarre to me. And doubtless mostly expected by older generations. My kids call adults by their first names including their teachers. No one cares. Anyone who has a problem with that needs way way way bigger issues to worry about.
You do you - sil needs to get a life


So your kids are being raised without manners too? Nice!


Well, they are from NYC, so of course nobody would expect manners. Nothing to really brag about.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 10:28     Subject: What would you have said?
Anonymous wrote:Op - we are in nyc and all of these rules are completely foreign and bizarre to me. And doubtless mostly expected by older generations. My kids call adults by their first names including their teachers. No one cares. Anyone who has a problem with that needs way way way bigger issues to worry about.
You do you - sil needs to get a life


So your kids are being raised without manners too? Nice!
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 10:27     Subject: What would you have said?
They should be calling her aunt.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2023 10:26     Subject: What would you have said?
If she doesn’t want to say aunt then miss will work.