Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a teacher, but fcps hs teacher BIL says "the parents."

+100

Parents who think their child's behavioral issues aren't related to parenting (and lack of consequences/repercussions).

-APS

It's probably a combination of things but if that many kids are acting up in school, maybe what is going on at school isn't working and teachers need to rethink their strategies.

LOL or maybe parents need to parent

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a teacher, but fcps hs teacher BIL says "the parents."

+100

Parents who think their child's behavioral issues aren't related to parenting (and lack of consequences/repercussions).

-APS

This. Every parent conference I have boils down to lack of consequences at home.

Wow!

When my kid was in preschool I had a teacher try to convince me that my child needed to be spanked and have more severe consequences at home when she didn’t listen to the teachers during transitions at school. Difficulty with transitions is totally normal for a 3 year old. I couldn’t get my kid out of that school fast enough! My DD is in high school now and is as sweet as can be. I’ve actually had teachers say “I wish we could clone her”. Sometimes the teachers and admin just don’t know how to behave with kids, despite that literally being in their job description.

You really don’t see how your child wasn’t wrong or didn’t need consequences is the same argument everyone is making here? That’s why teachers are leaving.

True. I don't see how teachers fail to understand normal child development and respond in appropriate ways. Their suggestion was for me to hit my kid. Not going to happen. Let me tell you the end of this story. I moved her to a nicer school that focuses on child development and emotional control. Never heard anything but compliments after that. By 5 this child was a sweet role model student. Now she's in HS. Had those teachers realized some 3 yo have a hard time with transitions and modeled classroom behaviors to account for this then there would be no problems. I'm so glad I thought they were all nuts telling me to spank my kid. The research shows you lower their IQ, EQ, and confidence, while increasing violent tendencies and anger. I'm sure some of those parents probably took the bad advice. I'm sorry for those kids, they need a gentle hand of guidance, not a firm hand of punishment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a teacher, but fcps hs teacher BIL says "the parents."

+100

Parents who think their child's behavioral issues aren't related to parenting (and lack of consequences/repercussions).

-APS

It's probably a combination of things but if that many kids are acting up in school, maybe what is going on at school isn't working and teachers need to rethink their strategies.

More so admin and the school boards should rethink their strategies.

As well as teachers. Teachers choose how they run their classroom and while one size doesn't fit all they need to read the room and do what works best for the majority of the kids in the classroom.

I know people think this is true but it isn't always. We are required to use PBIS at my school. Admin makes sure we are using it. It's BS IMO. Kids who behave will behave pretty much no matter what happens. It's the ones who don't that cause the most havoc in a classroom. I'm tired of having students destroy my classroom (almost everything was purchased by me over the years) and they return to the classroom with an admin and candy. I have to spend a lot of extra time during planning (so no planning/grading is getting done) documenting these behaviors and contacting parents. So if you want to know why I'm not getting grading done, this is why. It's because little Larlo had a tantrum, destroyed my classroom, and I need to spend my planning dealing with it.

Is the kid getting resouces and needs a different placement. People love to make posts like the above but the teacher is clueless about the process of finding proper placement for the child.

I’m not clueless. It takes many, many months of data collection in order to have an initial meeting. Then comes (possibly) testing which takes more months. Then if there is a finding and an IEP is developed, the parent has to agree to sign it. You’d be surprised how many parents won’t sign it. So, not much happens. Even if there is a signature, it doesn’t automatically trigger a change in placement. You need 45-60 more days of data collection. By this point, it’s almost the end of the year.

The fastest I’ve ever had a student moved to a new placement was February and that was an extreme case (completely non-verbal), operating at a 12-18 month old level in kindergarten.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a teacher, but fcps hs teacher BIL says "the parents."

+100

Parents who think their child's behavioral issues aren't related to parenting (and lack of consequences/repercussions).

-APS

It's probably a combination of things but if that many kids are acting up in school, maybe what is going on at school isn't working and teachers need to rethink their strategies.

+1, parents need to be accountable but sometimes teachers scapegoat parents and kids.

Parents should be held accountable and should be contacted each and every time and if a kid is misbehaving that much they should be sent home for the day.

As a parent of a kid with behavioral issues, I would love to be contacted every time there is an issue. It’s impossible to impose consequences for behavior you don’t know about. Finding out about an incident from last week is not helpful if you want me to change my kid’s behavior.

Fully funding IDEA at the federal level would go so far in helping improve everyone’s experience at school. Having enough slots for kids in special education classrooms and meaningful support for inclusion would free up gen ed teachers to focus on the content.

This.

But let's be honest. Teachers do stir things up... I have been in more than one classroom where the teacher hated the sns student who was struggling so much that they did things to make them more anxious and even to set them off. There are plenty of teachers who are mean to kids with sns and do cause their behavior issues. I had this happen to my own child and sat in 2 meetings where the principal laughed about how what they did made my young child so anxious and caused physical reactions. The recording went to school system admin. I can tell so many more stories that it is horrible.

There are absolutely bad teachers and administrators out there. That number is going to grow since we are burning through all good teachers. When you give of yourself every day with little support and few resources, it’s only a matter of time before you pack it in and quit.

I’ve sat in IEP meetings where I’ve had to ask parents to refrain from screaming at me. I’ve had parents threaten to take my job. I’ve been mocked, being told that I’m only a teacher because I’m not smart enough to be anything else. (Nice thing to think about the people you entrust your children to, by the way). I now dread these meetings.

The problem with anecdotes is that we all have them. I’m sorry you had that experience with a teacher and an admin. I sincerely am. I’m also sorry I’ve had the experiences I’ve had.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a teacher, but fcps hs teacher BIL says "the parents."

+100

Parents who think their child's behavioral issues aren't related to parenting (and lack of consequences/repercussions).

-APS

It's probably a combination of things but if that many kids are acting up in school, maybe what is going on at school isn't working and teachers need to rethink their strategies.

More so admin and the school boards should rethink their strategies.

As well as teachers. Teachers choose how they run their classroom and while one size doesn't fit all they need to read the room and do what works best for the majority of the kids in the classroom.

I know people think this is true but it isn't always. We are required to use PBIS at my school. Admin makes sure we are using it. It's BS IMO. Kids who behave will behave pretty much no matter what happens. It's the ones who don't that cause the most havoc in a classroom. I'm tired of having students destroy my classroom (almost everything was purchased by me over the years) and they return to the classroom with an admin and candy. I have to spend a lot of extra time during planning (so no planning/grading is getting done) documenting these behaviors and contacting parents. So if you want to know why I'm not getting grading done, this is why. It's because little Larlo had a tantrum, destroyed my classroom, and I need to spend my planning dealing with it.

Is the kid getting resouces and needs a different placement. People love to make posts like the above but the teacher is clueless about the process of finding proper placement for the child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But teachers aren’t talking about your situation specifically—you’re personalizing this. When I call the parents of an elementary child who told another kid to “F off,” and the parent says, “yeah, he does that at home, too. I don’t know how to stop it,” I do tend to think there are not many consequences at home. In the rare occasions a parent asks for suggestions, I might recommend talking away a privilege or liked activity or item.

Exactly. It’s the egregious behaviors. It’s the “f*** you, B****” I get from students when I ask them to put away phones. When I call home, I get “why the hell do you care if his phone is out? He can have his f***ing phone out.” And then the kid fails the next test and it’s somehow my fault he didn’t understand the material.

It’s the teacher next door who was pushed into a wall by a student. Admin said that she shouldn’t have been in his way. She wasn’t. She was against a wall. He was free to storm out of the classroom but chose to push her first.

I have many stories just like these ones. I’m counting down the days until retirement. My own child played with the idea of putting education down as her major when she applied to college. I told her that’s the only major I won’t pay for.

You can tell your stories but those of us with sns children have our own of our kids having teachers put their hands on them, deny them accommodations and humiliate them in front of the rest of the class. I have horror stories that I witnessed personally. If you want to compete on this, I would win hands down. I'm not even talking about kids with behavior issues.

Anonymous wrote:We absolutely need to bring back corporal punishment in schools

You are insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a teacher, but fcps hs teacher BIL says "the parents."

+100

Parents who think their child's behavioral issues aren't related to parenting (and lack of consequences/repercussions).

-APS

It's probably a combination of things but if that many kids are acting up in school, maybe what is going on at school isn't working and teachers need to rethink their strategies.

+1, parents need to be accountable but sometimes teachers scapegoat parents and kids.

Parents should be held accountable and should be contacted each and every time and if a kid is misbehaving that much they should be sent home for the day.

As a parent of a kid with behavioral issues, I would love to be contacted every time there is an issue. It’s impossible to impose consequences for behavior you don’t know about. Finding out about an incident from last week is not helpful if you want me to change my kid’s behavior.

Fully funding IDEA at the federal level would go so far in helping improve everyone’s experience at school. Having enough slots for kids in special education classrooms and meaningful support for inclusion would free up gen ed teachers to focus on the content.

This.

But let's be honest. Teachers do stir things up... I have been in more than one classroom where the teacher hated the sns student who was struggling so much that they did things to make them more anxious and even to set them off. There are plenty of teachers who are mean to kids with sns and do cause their behavior issues. I had this happen to my own child and sat in 2 meetings where the principal laughed about how what they did made my young child so anxious and caused physical reactions. The recording went to school system admin. I can tell so many more stories that it is horrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The threat of consequences is what keeps most of the adult population in line so obviously it works well. Speeding will get me a ticket and I don’t want one so I don’t speed. If I do, I owe money.

You understand adults and children are different, right?

Frontal love development and all…

Really? Thanks for the info. Children need limits and enforcement of limits so they stay on the right track. No limits means someone isn’t going their job. Right now, it’s a combination of lack of parenting and schools not enforcing limits. Most kids don’t need much in this area but there’s always the 10% that need more and longer enforcement. That 10% is growing though since parents aren’t doing their job.

Anonymous wrote:The threat of consequences is what keeps most of the adult population in line so obviously it works well. Speeding will get me a ticket and I don’t want one so I don’t speed. If I do, I owe money.

You understand adults and children are different, right?

Frontal love development and all…

The threat of consequences is what keeps most of the adult population in line so obviously it works well. Speeding will get me a ticket and I don’t want one so I don’t speed. If I do, I owe money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a teacher, but fcps hs teacher BIL says "the parents."

+100

Parents who think their child's behavioral issues aren't related to parenting (and lack of consequences/repercussions).

-APS

This. Every parent conference I have boils down to lack of consequences at home.

Wow!

When my kid was in preschool I had a teacher try to convince me that my child needed to be spanked and have more severe consequences at home when she didn’t listen to the teachers during transitions at school. Difficulty with transitions is totally normal for a 3 year old. I couldn’t get my kid out of that school fast enough! My DD is in high school now and is as sweet as can be. I’ve actually had teachers say “I wish we could clone her”. Sometimes the teachers and admin just don’t know how to behave with kids, despite that literally being in their job description.

You really don’t see how your child wasn’t wrong or didn’t need consequences is the same argument everyone is making here? That’s why teachers are leaving.

NP but I see that teachers are SAYING the kids are so awful because the parents need to give more consequences. Sometimes (maybe often?) the teachers are wrong.

As a former teacher, I believe you’re right that it’s not just about lack of consequences. Most consequences (punitive) are ineffective anyway. I think a big issue is addiction to tech and social media. Parents do need to do a much better job of monitoring their children and not giving them so much screen time at such a young age. You don’t need a smart phone in elementary or even middle school.

My SIL is a HS math teacher not in this area. Her district is middle to UMC overall and pretty majority white - I don’t think there’s anywhere in this area that would be so homogenous unless you were really far into the exurbs maybe. But her district is suburban. She’s been a teacher for 20 years. She said the worst things are:

- kids being on their phones all the time, not paying attention, and the phones being a distraction. This goes for both remedial and on grade level classes.
- way too many meetings and admin type work assigned from the district and the principals. It cuts into the teachers’ planning time too much and they feel very stretched for time as a result.
- she still feels that kids are behind where they were before Covid but isn’t sure why - her district opened hybrid on their regular 1st day of school in August 2020 and was full time after the first quarter so they did not have lengthy school closures.
- her friend who is a history teacher says that all the kids are absolutely terrible writers.

I asked if there was a lot of drug use in school and they said some but it wasn’t a huge problem and the kids (boys especially) have stopped vandalizing the bathrooms since it’s not a social media trend anymore.

I've seen how bad teachers don't understand normal child development and jump to 'it's the parents fault'. I also see how there are bad parents who are not doing their job to raise respectful adults. Kids who use bad language probably get that at home. Kids who are disrespectful to adults are probably disrespected by adults at home. It's not that difficult. Parents and teachers need to work together, but the foundation starts at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a teacher, but fcps hs teacher BIL says "the parents."

+100

Parents who think their child's behavioral issues aren't related to parenting (and lack of consequences/repercussions).

-APS

It's probably a combination of things but if that many kids are acting up in school, maybe what is going on at school isn't working and teachers need to rethink their strategies.

+1, parents need to be accountable but sometimes teachers scapegoat parents and kids.

Parents should be held accountable and should be contacted each and every time and if a kid is misbehaving that much they should be sent home for the day.

Because you think the parents can do what to make they kid sit still or listen or not back talk the next day in class? You don’t fix these things with consequences. You fix them with services, and there aren’t enough services for all the kids who need them.

Sometimes these things can be helped with services. But sometimes, they need parents and teachers working together to provide firm boundaries. And that means that there are consequences for actions. When a kid calls a teacher a b1t&h, maybe he needs social work, maybe he needs parents to take away his video games for a few days, or maybe both. I deeply appreciate the many parents of my students who are doing their best to support our work at school. So many do.