Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 15:08     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband likes to make himself a nice breakfast while mine gets cold or I shove calories in my face without noticing because I am jumping up every 2 seconds for the kids or being their only conversational partner too. Then when his eggs are done the kids are also done and he gets a nice quiet breakfast by himself at the table. I blew up at him about it this morning and I'm still pissed. And this is a guy who does his share of dinners....


I don't understand this. How does this end up happening?


He will stand in the kitchen on his phone while waiting for toast to pop or water to boil. I'll be at the table with the kids.


No, I don't understand how someone needs to get up every 2 seconds with kids, and views having a conversation with their kids as a burden to whine about. I get that he's not eating with you, and that's sad, but it's your parenting that is confusing me.


You must not have multiple very small kids. They aren't old enough to go into the kitchen and reach to get themselves more food or water, they want to constantly talk over each other and have a parent's full attention and immediate response, they really really want to get up and look for toys instead of sitting down and eating, and they want you to look for that one particular toy RIGHT NOW too, but you would like to finish chewing before telling them no, you're still eating, and please give your brother a turn to talk too.

Believe it or not it takes some time to teach kids to be patient and take turns in conversation and wait for others, although I'm sure yours did it instinctively and never talked over each other or rushed you, because you are a PERFECT parent. Good job, you!


I am not a perfect parent but I did have multiple small kids, and enforced a rule that you eat and drink from what’s on the table at the start of the meal, and somehow managed to have conversations and eat my own meal. I don’t get this martyrdom.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 15:05     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Communication is such a key part of a healthy marriage. Tell him you’re burnt out from cooking all the time. Ask for help. Clearly he’s capable of cooking, why is he opting out?
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:59     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:We are a family of 4 and DH and I both work FT. I cook dinner for everyone 28 days per month and we get take out once night every other week. I also make everyone's breakfast most mornings unless the kids just want a bagel or yogurt or something else easy.

This morning, we've been up since 6am and kids ate then. DH and I haven't eaten yet. He just spent 30 mins in the kitchen sautéing vegetables and making a big omlette with a side of fresh fruit. Then proceeded to sit down and eat it all by himself, never even asking if I'd like something.

How can people be like this?


If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t have gotten married
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:29     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you bothering us while he is eating it up? GRAB A FORK AND TAKE YOUR HALF RIGHT OFF HIS PLATE!!!

And make sure you say mmmm and mmmm while you are eating it.

People that moan while eating are absolutely nasty.


Hi nasty poster. Do you know any other word besides " nasty?" It is getting old and crusty


What is nasty and disgusting is your inability to use a period at the end of a sentence.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:18     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:We are a family of 4 and DH and I both work FT. I cook dinner for everyone 28 days per month and we get take out once night every other week. I also make everyone's breakfast most mornings unless the kids just want a bagel or yogurt or something else easy.

This morning, we've been up since 6am and kids ate then. DH and I haven't eaten yet. He just spent 30 mins in the kitchen sautéing vegetables and making a big omlette with a side of fresh fruit. Then proceeded to sit down and eat it all by himself, never even asking if I'd like something.

How can people be like this?


If I see DH making food I say “hey what are you doing make me some.” It’s that easy. Sometimes he is thoughtful and makes some for me or asks me, sometimes he doesn’t, he doesn’t really read my mind and I don’t expect him to. Sometimes he makes me a yummy coffee in the morning, sometimes he doesn’t. I don’t let myself get bothered over it.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:14     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband likes to make himself a nice breakfast while mine gets cold or I shove calories in my face without noticing because I am jumping up every 2 seconds for the kids or being their only conversational partner too. Then when his eggs are done the kids are also done and he gets a nice quiet breakfast by himself at the table. I blew up at him about it this morning and I'm still pissed. And this is a guy who does his share of dinners....


I don't understand this. How does this end up happening?


He will stand in the kitchen on his phone while waiting for toast to pop or water to boil. I'll be at the table with the kids.


No, I don't understand how someone needs to get up every 2 seconds with kids, and views having a conversation with their kids as a burden to whine about. I get that he's not eating with you, and that's sad, but it's your parenting that is confusing me.


You must not have multiple very small kids. They aren't old enough to go into the kitchen and reach to get themselves more food or water, they want to constantly talk over each other and have a parent's full attention and immediate response, they really really want to get up and look for toys instead of sitting down and eating, and they want you to look for that one particular toy RIGHT NOW too, but you would like to finish chewing before telling them no, you're still eating, and please give your brother a turn to talk too.

Believe it or not it takes some time to teach kids to be patient and take turns in conversation and wait for others, although I'm sure yours did it instinctively and never talked over each other or rushed you, because you are a PERFECT parent. Good job, you!
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:12     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you bothering us while he is eating it up? GRAB A FORK AND TAKE YOUR HALF RIGHT OFF HIS PLATE!!!

And make sure you say mmmm and mmmm while you are eating it.

People that moan while eating are absolutely nasty.


It’s to irritate him
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:10     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you bothering us while he is eating it up? GRAB A FORK AND TAKE YOUR HALF RIGHT OFF HIS PLATE!!!

And make sure you say mmmm and mmmm while you are eating it.

People that moan while eating are absolutely nasty.


Hi nasty poster. Do you know any other word besides " nasty?" It is getting old and crusty
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:10     Subject: Re:I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:You married him. Why'd you marry someone inconsiderate? My DH is the main cook of our family, but I manage to crank out dinner one or two nights a week for the family, so he doesn't get burnt out, so he gets that time to spend with the kids and dog, etc.


And what is your contribution in the marriage? I am assuming you are bringing in the lion share of $$$
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:09     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just stop cooking. Tell your family to fend for themselves. And stop being a doormat and use your words in the meantime.


We don't know the ages for the kids. For the dh sure


Even little kids can put cereal and milk in a bowl


1 or 2 year olds?
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:08     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
I’m 45. My mom cooked dinner probably 364 days every single year and she had a full time job as well.

If my wife did the same, she would have divorced my ass after 1 year. Men need to understand that what their mothers endured is a thing of the pas. Modern women expect you to pull your weight.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:05     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:Tell him that what he did was selfish and rude, especially given how often you cook for him. You know, communication.

Something similar happened with my DH once, and I told him about it and ever since he has asked me if I want anything when he makes eggs or a hot breakfast of any kind.

Communication, OP. Stop being a doormat.


+1

He probably thinks you love cooking because you do it all the time.

Create a schedule. The kids can do pg and j for dinner if they are too young to cook but they should and can do something.

Spouse and I trade off. We each do three nights and kids do the other plus empty the dishwasher anytime it’s full.

DH washes any dishes not in dishwasher and I put them away.

Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 14:00     Subject: Re:I cook dinner 28 days per month
You married him. Why'd you marry someone inconsiderate? My DH is the main cook of our family, but I manage to crank out dinner one or two nights a week for the family, so he doesn't get burnt out, so he gets that time to spend with the kids and dog, etc.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 13:21     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:Why are you bothering us while he is eating it up? GRAB A FORK AND TAKE YOUR HALF RIGHT OFF HIS PLATE!!!

And make sure you say mmmm and mmmm while you are eating it.

People that moan while eating are absolutely nasty.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2023 13:10     Subject: I cook dinner 28 days per month
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the daily reminder I always find here at DCUM that the life of singledom is to be cherished. I definitely have regrets at times, but then I think about the servitude and disrespect and the regrets dissipate.


It doesn’t have to be like this. I married a man who made me breakfast in bed the first time I spent the night at his place when we were dating. He now makes me a cup of coffee every morning before work and cooks me and the kids a big breakfast of pancakes, bacon, etc. on weekends (when we don’t have to be out the door early).