Anonymous wrote:I agree that ordering coffee after the check comes or well into dessert is rude.
But it seems moderately rude to me not to offer coffee and tea to guests with dessert. Nowadays when so many people have espresso machines or single service coffee machines it seems easier than it used to be.
It does sort of irritate me when hosts want to make a whole pot but don’t even start it until after all the dishes are cleared and cleaned from dinner. My brother does this — it is late and we want to get on the road and he’s like “I’ll just put on the coffee….l” like it’s a totally unanticipated act each time.
Anonymous wrote:
I'm French. Many people drink coffee after a meal, indeed in France it's all the rage now to have "cafe gourmand", which means a plate of mini desserts to go with your coffee. You're SUPPOSED to take a leisurely time with it. And if you already had dessert, and now you want coffee, the waiter will think that's normal too. Because coffee at any time is normal!
It's the same in many countries around the world. Turkey, for instance.
So before you enrage yourself at people, please pause for a moment to remind yourself that it's rude to police what other people drink at mealtimes, and it's not healthy to bolt your food and rush out.
I do agree that it's important to read the room: if there's a poor schmuck who forgot he needed a little espresso and orders it after everyone has eaten dessert and no one else wants coffee... then he should probably ask whether they want to leave, or are ready to chat while he sips.
But I still don't think this warrants ranting on DCUM. Bad for your blood pressure. Have a chocolate and calm down, OP. Think about your Christmas or next holiday meal. Dream about buche de Noel! This is a time of joy, togetherness and indulgence.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is a really strange rant. My extended family doesn’t drink alcohol but they do expect coffee with dessert. At restaurants they often know this and will ask when you’re ordering dessert. Similar to how a lot of people order cognac with dessert.
In the age of keurigs how hard is it to make a cup of coffee?
Keurigs are disgusting. I’ve never had a decent cup of coffee that came out of a pod. So gross.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has it more work for the server if they order after desert or with? Said a a former server, GM and restaurant consultant.
Um, if the check has already been tabulated and presented, at the very least, it requires another tab to be created and brought to the table. It requires at least two more trips to and from the table: one to put the order in/fulfill it, and one to bring the new check.
Did I go slow enough for you?
NP. Why did you add the rude snarky comment at the end of your post? Are you like that in real life?
OP, I agree people should order coffee when they order dessert. And the server ideally will ask at the time the dessert orders are being placed.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What are you saying - that it’s passe or that it’s annoying?
My close friend loves to have coffee after dinner. I know I have to make her an espresso drink after dinner no matter what. It’s not that upsetting to me. She’s my friend so I want her to enjoy herself in my home.
NP. It is passe in that no one except Boomers still expect/ask for it. It’s not part of dinner party culture anymore, and hardly anyone of any age orders it out at a restaurant anymore. Even as long ago as the 90s, Bourdain was making fun of coffee-with-dessert and (worst of all) decaf people in “Kitchen Confidential.”
Anonymous wrote:I will say I don’t know anyone under the age of 50 who regularly serves coffee with dessert. If they’re doing it, it’s because someone old asked for it, or there are older people at the restaurant in our party.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow, is this aimed at a particular person in your life, by any chance?
Ha, obviously. Probably an in-law.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has it more work for the server if they order after desert or with? Said a a former server, GM and restaurant consultant.
Um, if the check has already been tabulated and presented, at the very least, it requires another tab to be created and brought to the table. It requires at least two more trips to and from the table: one to put the order in/fulfill it, and one to bring the new check.
Did I go slow enough for you?
Anonymous wrote:Has it more work for the server if they order after desert or with? Said a a former server, GM and restaurant consultant.
Anonymous wrote:What are you saying - that it’s passe or that it’s annoying?
My close friend loves to have coffee after dinner. I know I have to make her an espresso drink after dinner no matter what. It’s not that upsetting to me. She’s my friend so I want her to enjoy herself in my home.
Anonymous wrote:I agree. When my in laws visit, my FIL always ask "Is there coffee?" when we bring out dessert. Nope, there's no coffee. Feel free to make some while we enjoy dessert though.
Anonymous wrote:This is a really strange rant. My extended family doesn’t drink alcohol but they do expect coffee with dessert. At restaurants they often know this and will ask when you’re ordering dessert. Similar to how a lot of people order cognac with dessert.
In the age of keurigs how hard is it to make a cup of coffee?