Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my brother was about to become an empty nester he and his wife decided to build a new home and part of his rationale was if she didn’t have a big project to keep her busy she would drive him nuts. From beginning to end it took about 4-5:years. Now they are building a vacation home and I swear it’s for the same reason. I don’t see them heading to divorce someday but he is spending millions to keep her busy.

What makes me shake my head about this scenario is that if she and he had priorities beyond themselves, she would take all that energy and "doing" that he seems to find irksome, and she'd expend it on volunteering or helping others or something outside herself and her nest. And he would suggest and encourage that, both to channel her energy and to, oh, help put some good out into the world. Beyond the "good" of keeping lots of builders employed. What a waste of money and time, just to "keep her busy."

Seriously. How sad and pathetic. Finding purpose in life by buying sh*t and spending. Sounds like my SIL.

Because their priorities are all f’d up.

There's a certain chemical in new drywall that causes erectile dysfunction.

Really? This chemical was not that effective in my case, as my ex-wife banged one of the subcontractors we hired to redo our first floor. The sad part is that his work was sub-standard (and I mean his carpentry skills) and we paid full price for it.

Actually, I paid more than full price once our divorce was final.

Anonymous wrote:^ a lot of SAHMs I know lost the house in divorce because they couldn’t afford to buy the husband out. They had to sell and get an apartment or smaller home.

Your scenario is nice, but not what I see most often.

A lot of WOHM divorced women are also living in apartments. That is how housing inventory increases!!

Anonymous wrote:There's a certain chemical in new drywall that causes erectile dysfunction.

😜

Anonymous wrote:This is the plot of the movie Lost in Translation.

No it isn’t

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen anything related to building a dream house, but a lot of divorce when kids are in high school/college is because once the kids are out of the house the couple no longer needs to stay together for them and realizes they really don't have much in common.

This, it’s a common “exit point” in marriages.

^ a lot of SAHMs I know lost the house in divorce because they couldn’t afford to buy the husband out. They had to sell and get an apartment or smaller home.

Your scenario is nice, but not what I see most often.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple that’s moved every few years snd based on the stories snd what they’ve shared, they move every time the marriage is on the rocks. He cheats, they move. So maybe they’re onto something. Refresh the housing to save the marriage. Maybe that’s what OP’s observing but it doesn’t always work.,

Interesting! That might be what is happening with one of the couples I know of--especially because she 'entertains' them at home. I could see the house being a 'non-safe space' for her spouse after that.

They recently upped and left all of their friends and family to set up in a new location far away from everyone. No kids, either, so perhaps that makes it easier. They don’t have any ties where they landed. He’s known to have a big wandering eye though, so I’m sure he’ll eventually bring some drama into their lives.

I know a couple who did this, he cheated constantly, she found out they moved to beautiful home in Fla. to start fresh, across the lake from D Marino, she bided her time, quietly, no kids, his stock options matured and bam she was out of there with millions in hand. Cash so no need to be reminded of the jerk via monthly alimony checks.

She cut off all contact with him and married a nice guy a year later, started a family quickly thereafter, she’s happy 2 kids and a quiet stable life and and he’s on wife number 4 and still cheating.

With each divorce the housing gets smaller. He’s in a nice two bedroom condo now.

This is the plot of the movie Lost in Translation.

Anonymous wrote:OMG--I know of 4 families where this has happened!!

In two cases, a spouse was having an affair.

I think it is a last ditch effort. One case, the woman used the new expansive guest room to bang other men while spouse was at work.

How many men?

Any guest room is pretty small but can fit 5 easily.

New house isn't the issue, wanting to have a picture perfect house worth of impressing everyone is the issue.