Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 11:51     Subject: Re:"I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you live in the wrong neighborhood. There are constantly kids knocking on my door asking my kids to play. Sometimes they are home, sometimes they aren't but I feel like I often have a house full of kids on the weekend.

And I agree that structured activities are good for kids (though we limit to 1-2 at a time). For the most part, the teams that my kids are on are full of kids from the neighborhood so it just strengthens those relationships.


And what would you do if you didn't happen to live in that kind of neighborhood? It's complete luck of the draw as to whether you end up on a block/in a neighborhood with lots of kids your kids' ages in close proximity. It's not like the housing market is so easy that you can just be picky and hold out for that kind of situation. Imagine if you had to find parents' contact info and set up any play time with other kids in advance. It feels like another chore. It's easier to just sign kids up for aftercare or structured activities than to have to be some sort of playdate coordinator.


Agreed, and we definitely got lucky with our neighborhood but we did do a lot of research on the neighborhood because that was the area we were looking for. I'm not saying that the solution is to move (though that's what we did) but my point is that there are places that exist that would give OP what she is looking for. It's not all of society that has moved to overscheduled, screen-addicted kids.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 11:49     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:Wow, the knots some insecure parents of only kids will twist themselves into to fee better about their child’s loneliness and boredom.


Wow there are still people out there who think "having a sibling" rescues you from loneliness and boredom. Lol.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 11:30     Subject: Re:"I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you live in the wrong neighborhood. There are constantly kids knocking on my door asking my kids to play. Sometimes they are home, sometimes they aren't but I feel like I often have a house full of kids on the weekend.

And I agree that structured activities are good for kids (though we limit to 1-2 at a time). For the most part, the teams that my kids are on are full of kids from the neighborhood so it just strengthens those relationships.


And what would you do if you didn't happen to live in that kind of neighborhood? It's complete luck of the draw as to whether you end up on a block/in a neighborhood with lots of kids your kids' ages in close proximity. It's not like the housing market is so easy that you can just be picky and hold out for that kind of situation. Imagine if you had to find parents' contact info and set up any play time with other kids in advance. It feels like another chore. It's easier to just sign kids up for aftercare or structured activities than to have to be some sort of playdate coordinator.


Of course you can't be certain about this type of living situation, but don't people ask questions when they're moving? Of course kids can be ok without a neighborhood full of kids, but I think it is ideal. Free time and unstructured time is severely looked down upon anymore.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 11:11     Subject: Re:"I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:Maybe you live in the wrong neighborhood. There are constantly kids knocking on my door asking my kids to play. Sometimes they are home, sometimes they aren't but I feel like I often have a house full of kids on the weekend.

And I agree that structured activities are good for kids (though we limit to 1-2 at a time). For the most part, the teams that my kids are on are full of kids from the neighborhood so it just strengthens those relationships.


And what would you do if you didn't happen to live in that kind of neighborhood? It's complete luck of the draw as to whether you end up on a block/in a neighborhood with lots of kids your kids' ages in close proximity. It's not like the housing market is so easy that you can just be picky and hold out for that kind of situation. Imagine if you had to find parents' contact info and set up any play time with other kids in advance. It feels like another chore. It's easier to just sign kids up for aftercare or structured activities than to have to be some sort of playdate coordinator.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 09:25     Subject: Re:"I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Maybe you live in the wrong neighborhood. There are constantly kids knocking on my door asking my kids to play. Sometimes they are home, sometimes they aren't but I feel like I often have a house full of kids on the weekend.

And I agree that structured activities are good for kids (though we limit to 1-2 at a time). For the most part, the teams that my kids are on are full of kids from the neighborhood so it just strengthens those relationships.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 09:24     Subject: Re:"I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:For my entire life I’ve hated getting dirty, and disliked the outdoors. During my free time as a kid, I listened to records while writing plays, reading, choreographing dances, playing with our dog, etc. I was happiest indoors, on a stage. When playing with other kids, I got us dresssed up and either putting on a play or choreographing a dance (based on my friends abilities and interests). Digging in dirt was not something you could have paid me to do.


This is still free play, though. I was like you, more into reading and dance, but it was still blessedly unstructured.

OP, I get your point, and I hope you come to some happy medium with your kid. A lot of freedom + a truly enjoyable activity or two is a nice blend.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 09:13     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I ended up putting my kids in lots of activities because I realized all of the kids my kids want to play with are in extended day or other activities. There is literally nobody around for my kids to play with. It is sad.


Because they're off doing what they enjoy instead of being home in case your kids want to play.


You sure about that? All kids sitting in a classroom at Russian Math are enjoying themselves? Kids who have one on one tutoring in a sport they’re not good at are having a great time? Kids forced to join something for the sole purpose of a future college application ?

It comes down to having extreme opinions on both sides. Not every child is happy having excessive activities and never being able to relax. But some do. Not every child wants to just hang around the neighborhood every day. But some do.


+1. Everyone is different. And you have to have a balance in life. Kids should not have an activity every day and definitely no back to back activities on one day. But they should also have time to roam the neighborhood and have unstructured play time.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 08:29     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:The car lines at schools make me sad. Kids used to get themselves around. I never got rides hardly anywhere. I have lifelong friends I walked to school, rode bikes to sports, and had paper routes with. Playing outside way after dark ..wandering out the power lines for miles and miles. My mom said that neighborhood moms were watching out the windows to some extent but that was it as far as I know.


I walked to and from school for five years. I hated the girl I was forced to walk with. We were never friends. I had a paper route for a year. ???
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 08:26     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The car lines at schools make me sad. Kids used to get themselves around. I never got rides hardly anywhere. I have lifelong friends I walked to school, rode bikes to sports, and had paper routes with. Playing outside way after dark ..wandering out the power lines for miles and miles. My mom said that neighborhood moms were watching out the windows to some extent but that was it as far as I know.


LOL neighborhood moms were not watching out of their windows, they were enjoying peace and quiet. And maybe a G&T.

My kids walk to and from school. In middle school they will take a bus. Be sure to cry for my privileged kids.


lol. Probably right. Adults had a life back then.


Drinking is “a life”?


Part of life sure.



Shut up
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 07:59     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The car lines at schools make me sad. Kids used to get themselves around. I never got rides hardly anywhere. I have lifelong friends I walked to school, rode bikes to sports, and had paper routes with. Playing outside way after dark ..wandering out the power lines for miles and miles. My mom said that neighborhood moms were watching out the windows to some extent but that was it as far as I know.


LOL neighborhood moms were not watching out of their windows, they were enjoying peace and quiet. And maybe a G&T.

My kids walk to and from school. In middle school they will take a bus. Be sure to cry for my privileged kids.


lol. Probably right. Adults had a life back then.


Drinking is “a life”?


Part of life sure.

Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 07:57     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Wow, the knots some insecure parents of only kids will twist themselves into to fee better about their child’s loneliness and boredom.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 07:56     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The car lines at schools make me sad. Kids used to get themselves around. I never got rides hardly anywhere. I have lifelong friends I walked to school, rode bikes to sports, and had paper routes with. Playing outside way after dark ..wandering out the power lines for miles and miles. My mom said that neighborhood moms were watching out the windows to some extent but that was it as far as I know.


LOL neighborhood moms were not watching out of their windows, they were enjoying peace and quiet. And maybe a G&T.

My kids walk to and from school. In middle school they will take a bus. Be sure to cry for my privileged kids.


lol. Probably right. Adults had a life back then.


Drinking is “a life”?
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 07:35     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The car lines at schools make me sad. Kids used to get themselves around. I never got rides hardly anywhere. I have lifelong friends I walked to school, rode bikes to sports, and had paper routes with. Playing outside way after dark ..wandering out the power lines for miles and miles. My mom said that neighborhood moms were watching out the windows to some extent but that was it as far as I know.


LOL neighborhood moms were not watching out of their windows, they were enjoying peace and quiet. And maybe a G&T.

My kids walk to and from school. In middle school they will take a bus. Be sure to cry for my privileged kids.


lol. Probably right. Adults had a life back then.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 07:32     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
Anonymous wrote:The car lines at schools make me sad. Kids used to get themselves around. I never got rides hardly anywhere. I have lifelong friends I walked to school, rode bikes to sports, and had paper routes with. Playing outside way after dark ..wandering out the power lines for miles and miles. My mom said that neighborhood moms were watching out the windows to some extent but that was it as far as I know.


LOL neighborhood moms were not watching out of their windows, they were enjoying peace and quiet. And maybe a G&T.

My kids walk to and from school. In middle school they will take a bus. Be sure to cry for my privileged kids.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2023 07:27     Subject: "I lived the happiest childhood a child could possibly know”
The car lines at schools make me sad. Kids used to get themselves around. I never got rides hardly anywhere. I have lifelong friends I walked to school, rode bikes to sports, and had paper routes with. Playing outside way after dark ..wandering out the power lines for miles and miles. My mom said that neighborhood moms were watching out the windows to some extent but that was it as far as I know.