Anonymous
11/29/2023 13:32
Subject: ASD child had a meltdown
Anonymous wrote:I have mantras for myself to deal with meltdowns.
My kid is allowed to exist.
My kid is allowed to take up space.
My kid is allowed to sometimes inconvenience people.
Society literally hinges on the existence of children.
And, most importantly, the meltdowns are hardest for ME, the mother, and I kind of don’t give a rats ass if other people find my child annoying or loud.
I do my absolute best to try and avoid causing inconvenience to others and I don’t go to things like black tie events with DC. We go to kid friendly events and activities.
Sometimes kids melt down, sometimes they are loud, etc.
It’s part of living in a society and people who don’t understand that can eff off.
In my view, staying at home all the time is not an option. We live our life. Meltdowns happen.
I’m pp 18:05 and I say Amen to this post!! 😀
Anonymous
11/29/2023 09:25
Subject: ASD child had a meltdown
I hope you have felt some support from this thread. It is so tough to deal with meltdowns when you are in public. I had to laugh thinking about all of these parents, and how we plan outings like we're planning a military operation.
I was thinking about the DH piece (I feel like this is what you are really concerned about/not sure how to deal with).
Amongst the handful of ASD families I know really well, there were three who took their ASD kids very few places. Neither parent can / wants to deal with meltdowns. These kids, now that they are older, can all do outings to different degrees and with strategies in place. I think it is important to acknowledge that your husband's strategy is not wrong, unusual, or even bad for your child. Your child is still very young, and emotionally, they are even younger. For example, would you insist that a two year old go see a movie?
On a good day (or week!), sit down with your husband and discuss an outing that you think your kid would enjoy and how you two can support each other. Ask your husband if this is an outing HE would enjoy. If he doesn't want to do it, pick something else together.
Discuss your strengths and weaknesses. For example, I could always handle meltdowns at parks and other outdoorsy kinds of venues. Meltdowns at restaurants were just horrible for me. I could not deal. Husband on the other hand was always good at noting when kid was getting antsy and just GTF out of there while I finished up with our other kid (we went in separate cars for YEARS).
I was thinking about the DH piece (I feel like this is what you are really concerned about/not sure how to deal with).
Amongst the handful of ASD families I know really well, there were three who took their ASD kids very few places. Neither parent can / wants to deal with meltdowns. These kids, now that they are older, can all do outings to different degrees and with strategies in place. I think it is important to acknowledge that your husband's strategy is not wrong, unusual, or even bad for your child. Your child is still very young, and emotionally, they are even younger. For example, would you insist that a two year old go see a movie?
On a good day (or week!), sit down with your husband and discuss an outing that you think your kid would enjoy and how you two can support each other. Ask your husband if this is an outing HE would enjoy. If he doesn't want to do it, pick something else together.
Discuss your strengths and weaknesses. For example, I could always handle meltdowns at parks and other outdoorsy kinds of venues. Meltdowns at restaurants were just horrible for me. I could not deal. Husband on the other hand was always good at noting when kid was getting antsy and just GTF out of there while I finished up with our other kid (we went in separate cars for YEARS).