Anonymous
11/25/2023 10:55
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
How about organizing Christmas caroling in the neighborhood if you are musically inclined? What a great fun communal activity imho.
I am a non-Christian immigrant and have wonderful memories of caroling in my native country.
I am a non-Christian immigrant and have wonderful memories of caroling in my native country.
Anonymous
11/25/2023 10:53
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Anonymous wrote:Thinking back to when I was a child, I would have preferred a lot of small gifts instead of one big gift. Not sure if this has been suggested, but consider buying their gifts from Shein. While it won't be top quality, it will accomplish the mission of a full Christmas tree on a budget.
You’re better off getting things from a thrift store
Anonymous
11/25/2023 10:45
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
5 below, goodwill, free cycle, FB marketplace. Set a budget and don’t go over. FB marketplace you can get some “bigger toys”
For the elementary kids for a deal.
For the elementary kids for a deal.
Anonymous
11/25/2023 10:40
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Idk. Maybe I’m the outlier but if you’re in a lot of debt I really don’t see what spending $400-$500 on gifts for the 3 kids at Christmas could possibly do to make or break you. Buy your kids Christmas gifts and then double down on debt repayment in January, it’s not their fault you guys got into a bunch of debt.
I was thinking this the whole time. Not to mention how much stuff there is out there for pennies on the dollar in second hand stores and online.
I thought the debt is crushing OP and OP's Christmas spirit and we all will be helping with the ideas of how to get out.
And this is why there are still many Americans paying off Christmas 2022... the best way to get out of the bondage of debt is to stop spending. Good job, OP!
Anonymous
11/25/2023 09:08
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Thinking back to when I was a child, I would have preferred a lot of small gifts instead of one big gift. Not sure if this has been suggested, but consider buying their gifts from Shein. While it won't be top quality, it will accomplish the mission of a full Christmas tree on a budget.
Anonymous
11/25/2023 08:54
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
My kid is in middle school and definitely senses these types of situations. My opinion is tell them. We are going to do more family activities and less physical gifts. We want to save extra money to pay off xyz. I think for the older one some explanation is necessary for context.
Now that my child is in middle school and wants (occasionally needs) more expensive items I explain the cost difference. You want this nice sweater? Do you understand it costs x times more than clothes at Old Navy? It is nicer so please don’t ball it up on the floor where it can get snagged, use the laundry basket!
Also explaining the difference between wants and needs. We are going out today to buy snow boots. We have nothing that fits and it is predicted to be a snowy winter. My child walks to school, so I explain we NEED snow boots. Getting an additional pair of sneaker though, is a want. You have functional sneakers!
Maybe pick a want and a need?
Sorry it’s hard. This is just my 2 cents.
There are a lot of fun free things to do in DC.
Not sure where you live but my child has enjoyed the following free:
National Christmas tree
Capitol Christmas tree
Drinking cocoa and driving around downtown looking at lights
Local group caroling if you can find it
Mormon Temple in Chevy Chase, MD has amazing lights. Also a bunch of really high quality free performances/concerts (we are a mixed Christian & Jewish family and really enjoyed some of these, it’s okay if you are not Mormon)
Visiting Santa
Not super expensive:
Outdoor ice skating
Local student ballet companies Nutcracker
Now that my child is in middle school and wants (occasionally needs) more expensive items I explain the cost difference. You want this nice sweater? Do you understand it costs x times more than clothes at Old Navy? It is nicer so please don’t ball it up on the floor where it can get snagged, use the laundry basket!
Also explaining the difference between wants and needs. We are going out today to buy snow boots. We have nothing that fits and it is predicted to be a snowy winter. My child walks to school, so I explain we NEED snow boots. Getting an additional pair of sneaker though, is a want. You have functional sneakers!
Maybe pick a want and a need?
Sorry it’s hard. This is just my 2 cents.
There are a lot of fun free things to do in DC.
Not sure where you live but my child has enjoyed the following free:
National Christmas tree
Capitol Christmas tree
Drinking cocoa and driving around downtown looking at lights
Local group caroling if you can find it
Mormon Temple in Chevy Chase, MD has amazing lights. Also a bunch of really high quality free performances/concerts (we are a mixed Christian & Jewish family and really enjoyed some of these, it’s okay if you are not Mormon)
Visiting Santa
Not super expensive:
Outdoor ice skating
Local student ballet companies Nutcracker
Anonymous
11/25/2023 07:13
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Anonymous wrote:Idk. Maybe I’m the outlier but if you’re in a lot of debt I really don’t see what spending $400-$500 on gifts for the 3 kids at Christmas could possibly do to make or break you. Buy your kids Christmas gifts and then double down on debt repayment in January, it’s not their fault you guys got into a bunch of debt.
I was thinking this the whole time. Not to mention how much stuff there is out there for pennies on the dollar in second hand stores and online.
I thought the debt is crushing OP and OP's Christmas spirit and we all will be helping with the ideas of how to get out.
Anonymous
11/25/2023 05:12
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
5 Below you can find some real deals, Michaels, Kohls (no names on hoodies etc but nice enough) stockings with dollar store goodies or bath and body small size stuff…
Anonymous
11/25/2023 02:34
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Idk. Maybe I’m the outlier but if you’re in a lot of debt I really don’t see what spending $400-$500 on gifts for the 3 kids at Christmas could possibly do to make or break you. Buy your kids Christmas gifts and then double down on debt repayment in January, it’s not their fault you guys got into a bunch of debt.
Anonymous
11/25/2023 00:54
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Same poster again. I want to make clear that I spoiled my kids but they never acted spoiled. They rarely asked for things and easily accepted being told no.
I also decided to come back for one more post because I also wanted to say that my younger son went on a major spree making snowflakes out of white printer paper one year. They were so beautiful that we took some of the bulbs off the tree and put them up instead. And saved them for future years. He was very proud of that contribution to the festivities. This seems like about the biggest bang for buck craft there could be. I recommend using only part of the sheet so the snowflakes are closer to ornament size vs. a full sheet of paper size.
I also decided to come back for one more post because I also wanted to say that my younger son went on a major spree making snowflakes out of white printer paper one year. They were so beautiful that we took some of the bulbs off the tree and put them up instead. And saved them for future years. He was very proud of that contribution to the festivities. This seems like about the biggest bang for buck craft there could be. I recommend using only part of the sheet so the snowflakes are closer to ornament size vs. a full sheet of paper size.
Anonymous
11/25/2023 00:45
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Ok, feel free to hate me, PP. Most Americans are raised this way and it is a journey to undo internalized cultural norms. My husband grew up in a very poor family and has always wanted to over buy for our kids because he felt deprived as a child/couldn't have what he wanted. So we had internalized bad values from both directions. Also came from a couple of other directions. I have early childhood educators on the middle class side of my family and they just love toys. Love them as much as some people love major league sports. So reining them in was pretty difficult. Another issue we had going on was gendered...we had all girls in my generation and all boys in the grandkid generation. Shopping for gifts, toys, and holiday gear is a fairly gendered pastime. As women, we were trained to enjoy this stuff, expected to do it, and praised for doing it well. So that's a whole other aspect of things that feeds in here.
I had forgotten about these forums for about 10 years and just dropped in excited to share because there are way more parents here than I normally encounter. Not trying to teach, just explain what I did with my family and how it worked out. But now I'm remembering that this board had quite the reputation for toxicity back in the day.
Anyway, apologies if I annoyed anyone with my privilege - that wasn't my intent - still hope there's a valuable tip or two in there for someone. I like reading others' POV's even when I have to roll my eyes a little. I'd appreciate it if you extended me the same courtesy.
I had forgotten about these forums for about 10 years and just dropped in excited to share because there are way more parents here than I normally encounter. Not trying to teach, just explain what I did with my family and how it worked out. But now I'm remembering that this board had quite the reputation for toxicity back in the day.
Anyway, apologies if I annoyed anyone with my privilege - that wasn't my intent - still hope there's a valuable tip or two in there for someone. I like reading others' POV's even when I have to roll my eyes a little. I'd appreciate it if you extended me the same courtesy.
Anonymous
11/25/2023 00:22
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Anonymous wrote:I was raised to expect lots of gifts at Christmas. There were never any financial issues in our family. I also bought a lot of gifts for my children and they received lots from family during their early years when they were the first in their generation. Once my kids reached late elementary school, we determined that, even if we could afford it, our values needed examining and we needed to cut back because we had started to buy gifts just to buy gifts, and unused gifts were piling up. It had become a chore rather than a pleasure.
So when my children asked for things, I reminded them they already had something like it at home. I also introduced the occasional used book or dvd as long as it looked new (usually purchased from library booksale or Ebay). As they became more digital, I shifted to buying video game cartridges the size of postage stamps and downloads which seemed less like things but gave hours of playtime and didn't clutter the house. In that way, they were weaned off the experience that "Christmas means lots of packages". It also helped that my husband and I typically mainly gave each other books and small cooking gadgets as presents over the years. Eventually, we transitioned a lot of Christmas spending to ski lift tickets which were an experiential gift very much enjoyed by our children.
As the kids became even older, we stopped having gift giving birthdays and maintained only the "child gets a special dinner and requested homemade cake of their choice" tradition. I rarely bake so the kids really appreciate mom's special effort once a year (we used to decorate the cakes fully with themed plastic figures, etc.) When they were a little sad in a nostalgic way for the gift piles of yore, we discussed that although it is fun to unwrap things, there is no point in buying gifts that never get used or appreciated. And they were logical enough to recognize they didn't ever want some of the well-meaning gifts they had received (science kits and other educational materials were big duds - physics comics books anyone?).
This may sound kind of joyless but my kids are happy and secure and way less materialistic than I was at their age. They don't care about what kind of jeans they wear or what shoes they have. They trust that mom and dad will provide for their needs and reasonable wants/moments of delight without them having to be obsessed with owning stuff. I mention this to share my thought that you've gotten lots of good suggestions already and your kids will be just fine as long as you are comfortable with your decision and you genuinely reflect their interests within your budget. I would suggest trying to get each the one present they really want and economizing on the rest.
When I think back to fun presents that were really enjoyed but cost less than $20, I remember t-shirts with silly sayings, a personalized mug, a novelty pillow in the shape of a loved food item, Pokemon card packets, stocking candy, a chocolate orange, and a wooden frog that made a funny croaking sound when you ran an included stick over its back.
I also do support holiday pajamas. We bought them at Carters, once at Walmart, and Lands End on sale. Never more than $20 (never bought for the grownups). We let them wear them after Christmas and handed them down. So they fit into the clothing budget more than the gift budget. And I think my kids were a little sentimental about them. Some got completely worn out because they were so cozy.
Regarding crafts...my kids liked making pony bead art keychains. I got a starter kit at Walmart once that could have been shared by 3 kids for about $12. Very worth it.
Happy holidays to you and all reading this thread!
I hate when materialistic people who spoiled their kids finally become self-aware and then try to teach everyone else!
Anonymous
11/25/2023 00:19
Subject: How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
I was raised to expect lots of gifts at Christmas. There were never any financial issues in our family. I also bought a lot of gifts for my children and they received lots from family during their early years when they were the first in their generation. Once my kids reached late elementary school, we determined that, even if we could afford it, our values needed examining and we needed to cut back because we had started to buy gifts just to buy gifts, and unused gifts were piling up. It had become a chore rather than a pleasure.
So when my children asked for things, I reminded them they already had something like it at home. I also introduced the occasional used book or dvd as long as it looked new (usually purchased from library booksale or Ebay). As they became more digital, I shifted to buying video game cartridges the size of postage stamps and downloads which seemed less like things but gave hours of playtime and didn't clutter the house. In that way, they were weaned off the experience that "Christmas means lots of packages". It also helped that my husband and I typically mainly gave each other books and small cooking gadgets as presents over the years. Eventually, we transitioned a lot of Christmas spending to ski lift tickets which were an experiential gift very much enjoyed by our children.
As the kids became even older, we stopped having gift giving birthdays and maintained only the "child gets a special dinner and requested homemade cake of their choice" tradition. I rarely bake so the kids really appreciate mom's special effort once a year (we used to decorate the cakes fully with themed plastic figures, etc.) When they were a little sad in a nostalgic way for the gift piles of yore, we discussed that although it is fun to unwrap things, there is no point in buying gifts that never get used or appreciated. And they were logical enough to recognize they didn't ever want some of the well-meaning gifts they had received (science kits and other educational materials were big duds - physics comics books anyone?).
This may sound kind of joyless but my kids are happy and secure and way less materialistic than I was at their age. They don't care about what kind of jeans they wear or what shoes they have. They trust that mom and dad will provide for their needs and reasonable wants/moments of delight without them having to be obsessed with owning stuff. I mention this to share my thought that you've gotten lots of good suggestions already and your kids will be just fine as long as you are comfortable with your decision and you genuinely reflect their interests within your budget. I would suggest trying to get each the one present they really want and economizing on the rest.
When I think back to fun presents that were really enjoyed but cost less than $20, I remember t-shirts with silly sayings, a personalized mug, a novelty pillow in the shape of a loved food item, Pokemon card packets, stocking candy, a chocolate orange, and a wooden frog that made a funny croaking sound when you ran an included stick over its back.
I also do support holiday pajamas. We bought them at Carters, once at Walmart, and Lands End on sale. Never more than $20 (never bought for the grownups). We let them wear them after Christmas and handed them down. So they fit into the clothing budget more than the gift budget. And I think my kids were a little sentimental about them. Some got completely worn out because they were so cozy.
Regarding crafts...my kids liked making pony bead art keychains. I got a starter kit at Walmart once that could have been shared by 3 kids for about $12. Very worth it.
Happy holidays to you and all reading this thread!
So when my children asked for things, I reminded them they already had something like it at home. I also introduced the occasional used book or dvd as long as it looked new (usually purchased from library booksale or Ebay). As they became more digital, I shifted to buying video game cartridges the size of postage stamps and downloads which seemed less like things but gave hours of playtime and didn't clutter the house. In that way, they were weaned off the experience that "Christmas means lots of packages". It also helped that my husband and I typically mainly gave each other books and small cooking gadgets as presents over the years. Eventually, we transitioned a lot of Christmas spending to ski lift tickets which were an experiential gift very much enjoyed by our children.
As the kids became even older, we stopped having gift giving birthdays and maintained only the "child gets a special dinner and requested homemade cake of their choice" tradition. I rarely bake so the kids really appreciate mom's special effort once a year (we used to decorate the cakes fully with themed plastic figures, etc.) When they were a little sad in a nostalgic way for the gift piles of yore, we discussed that although it is fun to unwrap things, there is no point in buying gifts that never get used or appreciated. And they were logical enough to recognize they didn't ever want some of the well-meaning gifts they had received (science kits and other educational materials were big duds - physics comics books anyone?).
This may sound kind of joyless but my kids are happy and secure and way less materialistic than I was at their age. They don't care about what kind of jeans they wear or what shoes they have. They trust that mom and dad will provide for their needs and reasonable wants/moments of delight without them having to be obsessed with owning stuff. I mention this to share my thought that you've gotten lots of good suggestions already and your kids will be just fine as long as you are comfortable with your decision and you genuinely reflect their interests within your budget. I would suggest trying to get each the one present they really want and economizing on the rest.
When I think back to fun presents that were really enjoyed but cost less than $20, I remember t-shirts with silly sayings, a personalized mug, a novelty pillow in the shape of a loved food item, Pokemon card packets, stocking candy, a chocolate orange, and a wooden frog that made a funny croaking sound when you ran an included stick over its back.
I also do support holiday pajamas. We bought them at Carters, once at Walmart, and Lands End on sale. Never more than $20 (never bought for the grownups). We let them wear them after Christmas and handed them down. So they fit into the clothing budget more than the gift budget. And I think my kids were a little sentimental about them. Some got completely worn out because they were so cozy.
Regarding crafts...my kids liked making pony bead art keychains. I got a starter kit at Walmart once that could have been shared by 3 kids for about $12. Very worth it.
Happy holidays to you and all reading this thread!
Anonymous
11/24/2023 23:29
Subject: Re:How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of free activities and you can drive around looking at lights. You can bake together and make new decorations. Have family movie nights to watch holiday movies. Have a special breakfast and nice dinner on Christmas. These things will make the season special. As for gifts, make a budget and stick to it. Be guided by what your kids want - if it’s a bunch of small things do that and if it’s a large gift do that.
Matching pjs are not cheap and not good present bang for the buck but o agree otherwise with the sentiment of doing fun family activities.
I’m not pushing matching pjs — but Christmas pjs — which make large packages to open on Christmas or even on Christmas Eve actually can be inexpensive. Old Navy on sale has low prices— and it’s something the kids might need any way. Similarly: hoodies, sweatshirts, hats, gloves, vests….can be found at very low prices, with specials and other discounts if you get their emails.
Anonymous
11/24/2023 20:26
Subject: Re:How to have a good Christmas for kids when we are in a lot of debt?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of free activities and you can drive around looking at lights. You can bake together and make new decorations. Have family movie nights to watch holiday movies. Have a special breakfast and nice dinner on Christmas. These things will make the season special. As for gifts, make a budget and stick to it. Be guided by what your kids want - if it’s a bunch of small things do that and if it’s a large gift do that.
Matching pjs are not cheap and not good present bang for the buck but o agree otherwise with the sentiment of doing fun family activities.
Agree, skip the matching PJs this year
I picked up some adult sized pajamas at Carter’s today for $10 and matching kid pj’s for $6. You can do it on the cheap.
That’s still not a good use of money that would be better spent on actual gifts. If no one needs PJs, why blow $40 on unnecessary clothing items for a one morning instagram moment instead of using it on board games or art supplies or something else that will last?
$24 for the kids seems worth it for me. Get them in the next size up.
Art supplies will get blown through in a weekend.