Anonymous wrote:They’re close family, not guests. Give them the sheets, tell them you are working, and carry on. No big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't your DH be the one to "deal with them" anyway? When my MIL comes to visit, the timing etc doesn't stress me because she is DH's cross to bear. Makes her sound like a bad thing, I know, which she's not. She's just his responsibility rather than mine.

SIL here. I like to believe I am not high maintenance but I do require being given the sheets and maybe a cup of tea and some food on arrival (o visit my brother once a year).
We always used to have a good relationship with my SIL, but I think she started “making me my brother’s responsibility” lately (maybe for the last couple of years?)
It looks weird and makes her look like a bad host and unfriendly person.
I am not a super hostess myself but it doesn’t bother me to make my guest comfortable and offer tea and maybe some snacks or food. I don’t get it when people act all put out by such huge tasks.

This is not meant as an argument with OP or PP, just an observation. It’s not that hard to be a minimally good host. Not serving hand and foot on anyone but just being friendly and providing initial basic supplies.

What’s wrong with your brother that he’s not offering you tea or making you comfortable? Is he a quadriplegic, or what? Why do you expect hospitality from someone with a vagina and not your brother, hmm?

Oh, he does. It’s just that it’s so obvious how she is now “leaving everything to him”, it’s eyeroll worthy.
She then eases up and becomes herself (I.e. does some things when she is around and leaves others to her DH/my brother when it’s convenient for them) but it’s just funny how she tries to be this modern woman who is letting her husband take responsibility for his family by leaving until tea is served lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait until all of your kids grow up and trash you. Seriously, why are you all so petty and mean? Who did what to you? What trauma did you suffer? What has made you so insecure and unsettled?

My kids will likely have various complaints about me, but me showing up hours earlier than planned is not something I would ever do. So I am safe from that particular note. What an extraordinarily rude thing to do—indefensibly so. You might have a leg to stand on if they texted or called once they decided to get on the road early, but they did not. Indefensibly rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't your DH be the one to "deal with them" anyway? When my MIL comes to visit, the timing etc doesn't stress me because she is DH's cross to bear. Makes her sound like a bad thing, I know, which she's not. She's just his responsibility rather than mine.

SIL here. I like to believe I am not high maintenance but I do require being given the sheets and maybe a cup of tea and some food on arrival (o visit my brother once a year).
We always used to have a good relationship with my SIL, but I think she started “making me my brother’s responsibility” lately (maybe for the last couple of years?)
It looks weird and makes her look like a bad host and unfriendly person.
I am not a super hostess myself but it doesn’t bother me to make my guest comfortable and offer tea and maybe some snacks or food. I don’t get it when people act all put out by such huge tasks.

This is not meant as an argument with OP or PP, just an observation. It’s not that hard to be a minimally good host. Not serving hand and foot on anyone but just being friendly and providing initial basic supplies.

What’s wrong with your brother that he’s not offering you tea or making you comfortable? Is he a quadriplegic, or what? Why do you expect hospitality from someone with a vagina and not your brother, hmm?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't your DH be the one to "deal with them" anyway? When my MIL comes to visit, the timing etc doesn't stress me because she is DH's cross to bear. Makes her sound like a bad thing, I know, which she's not. She's just his responsibility rather than mine.

SIL here. I like to believe I am not high maintenance but I do require being given the sheets and maybe a cup of tea and some food on arrival (o visit my brother once a year).
We always used to have a good relationship with my SIL, but I think she started “making me my brother’s responsibility” lately (maybe for the last couple of years?)
It looks weird and makes her look like a bad host and unfriendly person.
I am not a super hostess myself but it doesn’t bother me to make my guest comfortable and offer tea and maybe some snacks or food. I don’t get it when people act all put out by such huge tasks.

This is not meant as an argument with OP or PP, just an observation. It’s not that hard to be a minimally good host. Not serving hand and foot on anyone but just being friendly and providing initial basic supplies.

Anonymous wrote:They were probably really worried about the weather and traffic, but you should carry on as planned. Let your husband take care of his parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I need some more information. So they showed up at 8am? How far away do they live that they were worried about traffic?

OP here. They live 2 hours away. So hardly a huge trek. They did not text or call to say they had decided to get moving basically right after they woke up. That still would have been weird, but not as weird as our doorbell ringing right after DH had left to drop the kids off at daycare. A text would have been nice.

I am planning on staying up here, working, getting myself and only myself lunch when I need to, and leaving them to entertain themselves. DH has the office that’s in a more central location, so he can deal with them. My “office” is a corner of our bedroom.

Now that business hours have started, this is my final post about my situation, and I cede the thread to anyone who has a petty vent!

Translation: you’re embarrassed by your own pettiness.

How does it feel that everyone else in the thread is in agreement this is annoying, and you are so totally wrong and doubling down on it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't your DH be the one to "deal with them" anyway? When my MIL comes to visit, the timing etc doesn't stress me because she is DH's cross to bear. Makes her sound like a bad thing, I know, which she's not. She's just his responsibility rather than mine.

SIL here. I like to believe I am not high maintenance but I do require being given the sheets and maybe a cup of tea and some food on arrival (o visit my brother once a year).
We always used to have a good relationship with my SIL, but I think she started “making me my brother’s responsibility” lately (maybe for the last couple of years?)
It looks weird and makes her look like a bad host and unfriendly person.
I am not a super hostess myself but it doesn’t bother me to make my guest comfortable and offer tea and maybe some snacks or food. I don’t get it when people act all put out by such huge tasks.

This is not meant as an argument with OP or PP, just an observation. It’s not that hard to be a minimally good host. Not serving hand and foot on anyone but just being friendly and providing initial basic supplies.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait until all of your kids grow up and trash you. Seriously, why are you all so petty and mean? Who did what to you? What trauma did you suffer? What has made you so insecure and unsettled?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s probably anxiety on the ILs part.
I am a SIL and I don’t arrive earlier than planned, but I just wanted to say I would actually be relieved if my SIL removed herself from the whole situation and I only had to interact with my brother (no preference on nephews).

Anxiety it is not. In my experience, ILs just do whatever is best for them

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't your DH be the one to "deal with them" anyway? When my MIL comes to visit, the timing etc doesn't stress me because she is DH's cross to bear. Makes her sound like a bad thing, I know, which she's not. She's just his responsibility rather than mine.

Anonymous wrote:It’s probably anxiety on the ILs part.
I am a SIL and I don’t arrive earlier than planned, but I just wanted to say I would actually be relieved if my SIL removed herself from the whole situation and I only had to interact with my brother (no preference on nephews).