Anonymous wrote:And sorry, OP here again. I meant to add that maybe if I’d had more time to bond and deal with my PPA I would have felt better. To the PP who was able to be a SAHM for a while, I’m happy for you. I wish I had more time to bond and spend with my son where it doesn’t feel like I’m going through the motions of life.

That's exactly what I was trying to say, I'm glad you understood OP. I too wish you could work it out so you didn't have to split yourself so much between work, kids and your own time that it makes you so unhappy. Seems like a lot of people here have the same problem but finding a solution is very difficult. I feel very fortunate to have been able to focus on my kids until they were in school, even when it meant caring for other people's kids for awhile too. My husband and I also made the decision to sacrifice in ways many others are unwilling to so that we could do without the second income for awhile. I hope you are able to find solutions to your depression and desire to just run away and can find a way to enjoy these years of your child's life as well as your own.

And sorry, OP here again. I meant to add that maybe if I’d had more time to bond and deal with my PPA I would have felt better. To the PP who was able to be a SAHM for a while, I’m happy for you. I wish I had more time to bond and spend with my son where it doesn’t feel like I’m going through the motions of life.

OP here, returning to work at 4 months post partum while dealing with PPA was awful. Sending my child to be cared for by someone else was also awful. But I was out of PTO.

I am going to see my doctor about upping my SSRI and find a therapist. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

You are so nasty and rude.

Yes, I get that way when I am insulted for stating a point of view that doesn't coincide with somebody else's. My comments weren't nasty or rude until I was insulted.

If everyone else is wrong but you, maybe look in a mirror. Being nasty is so trashy.

That would include you then. What makes you think everyone else disagrees with me?

I'm being clear. You're lashing out because as you stated, others didn't agree with you. Your original post was demeaning and rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

You are so nasty and rude.

Yes, I get that way when I am insulted for stating a point of view that doesn't coincide with somebody else's. My comments weren't nasty or rude until I was insulted.

If everyone else is wrong but you, maybe look in a mirror. Being nasty is so trashy.

That would include you then. What makes you think everyone else disagrees with me?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

You are so nasty and rude.

Yes, I get that way when I am insulted for stating a point of view that doesn't coincide with somebody else's. My comments weren't nasty or rude until I was insulted.

If everyone else is wrong but you, maybe look in a mirror. Being nasty is so trashy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

You are so nasty and rude.

Yes, I get that way when I am insulted for stating a point of view that doesn't coincide with somebody else's. My comments weren't nasty or rude until I was insulted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

DP. Not everyone is in a career field where you can just bow out for a few years and then expect to re-enter later. I know I'm not.
If I did so, I would essentially be starting from scratch. Different people (and families, and careers) are exactly that...different.

That's why I said "I know not everybody can do this" etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

Your happiness shines through.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

You are so nasty and rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

DP. Not everyone is in a career field where you can just bow out for a few years and then expect to re-enter later. I know I'm not.
If I did so, I would essentially be starting from scratch. Different people (and families, and careers) are exactly that...different.

Don’t pretend play if you don’t like it. I just told my kids pretend play is something children do and adults don’t like it. He can always help you with chores or play by himself. My daughter always wanted me to play Barbie - I didn’t even play Barbie when I was little. I just said not a chance, kiddo. Help me do XXX. She basically said nope she preferred to play alone than do chores.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.

Whatever! Don't want to hear about people who put their careers on hold for a few years to be full time parents to their young kids? Are you looking for an echo chamber here that only spouts your values and choices? My husband and I made a lot of sacrifices so that I could stay home with my kids when they were young and neither of us are high earners like so many are here. Totally worth it. It sounds like the OP is not having a great life so I tried to give her another point of view to consider, whereas your moronic sanctimommy comment is only meant to insult and demean my viewpoint, that's real helpful. Shove it!

I’m sorry, OP. I loved 99% of it, even with a kid with special needs. I miss that phase - oldest is in college already. I just like having my kids with me.

Forgive yourself and put the religious conversion on hold. You are not in the right mental state! I think you’re depressed and looking for the wrong solutions. Focus on your mental state first with a psychiatrist.

Best of luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved parenting, even to the point where I cared for my sister's kids and my best friend's kid for a few years so I could continue to stay home with my own kids until they were in elementary school. I started my career after that.

I don't personally know how anybody can enjoy their life much if both parents work full time and also parent young kids. It sounds totally overwhelming and impossible to do justice to, much less enjoy, either your job or your kids.

How in the world is this helpful?

Helpful? Well, maybe the OP needs to consider that it's not the kids that are the problem or parenting them, it's the lack of time to enjoy it and devote herself to it, with some time also to spend on herself, without the grueling life of balancing work and kids. I know not everyone can make that happen but many people here on DCUM could easily make it happen but choose not to. Then they wonder why parenting is so hard and often not enjoyable.

Thanks Sanctimommy.