Anonymous
Post 11/06/2023 09:43     Subject: Do your frequent guests help with the burden of hosting at all?
Anonymous wrote:My MIL does dishes. My mom and dad are in poor health and I ask them not to help.

I don’t think anyone enjoys visiting in laws. It is more an obligation.

DH and I pick up take out whether it is at our in laws, my parents or our house. I don’t think it is a big deal.

It is a normal complaint for adult children to complain when their parents and in laws visit. Half of parents are helpful and other half is not.


My MIL does not do anything. Ever.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2023 09:43     Subject: Do your frequent guests help with the burden of hosting at all?
Anonymous wrote:My parameters are this: guests stay over no more than (3) days, max, same when we stay with someone (ie: not a hotel).

Guests are guests when they are at my house - no work requested from them, and we provide a clean place to stay, always. We have stayed in some truly spacious homes, and it is obvious that the guests quarters (yup) were not tended to - sheets had not been changed, bathroom had not been cleaned - kind of gross, and unfortunately, memorable.

For holiday dinners, if we host, we do not have the guests clean up, maybe help us serve, but that is all. No one knows where we keep anything, and that is just awkward. People do help clear the table, but that is it. We do clean up when we are hosted, regardless of who (family or high profile individual) is hosting.


For the record, we stripped the beds when we left that house - because it was so clearly overdue. The host was not happy.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2023 08:51     Subject: Do your frequent guests help with the burden of hosting at all?
My MIL does dishes. My mom and dad are in poor health and I ask them not to help.

I don’t think anyone enjoys visiting in laws. It is more an obligation.

DH and I pick up take out whether it is at our in laws, my parents or our house. I don’t think it is a big deal.

It is a normal complaint for adult children to complain when their parents and in laws visit. Half of parents are helpful and other half is not.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2023 08:17     Subject: Do your frequent guests help with the burden of hosting at all?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stay in a note when you visit. No way am no I cleaning someone else’s guest room.


That's funny. I have a large vacation home where my kids come to stay often. If they visit when I am there, I spend hours cleaning and childproofing for grandkids, I do all of the laundry for towels, bedding, etc. I do all of the grocery shopping, cooking or pay for all meals. I finally got frustrated that they treated me and my house like a free hotel. I ask them to make the beds with clean sheets before they leave, to empty their trash and to hang up their towels to dry. If staying in a hotel is preferable, knock yourself out.

The moral of the story is that family members should communicate.


A beach house is different than someone visiting their parents’ home in rural Pennsylvania whatever for the holidays, and you know it. Don’t act cute. We get it, you needed us to know you have a beach house.


You are really good at reading comprehension, aren't you?
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2023 07:49     Subject: Re:Do your frequent guests help with the burden of hosting at all?
My parents are our most common visitors. They're becoming a bit less helpful now that they're starting to age which of course makes total sense, but my mom especially always pitched in. She isn't a good cook so she always volunteered to clean the kitchen and scrub the pots and pans because she enjoyed that. They would always strip the guest bed before they left unless we specifically told them not to for some reason. My dad is less hands on in the house but is the first one to run errands for us or go pick up lunch or dinner. When the kids were little they would encourage us to pour a glass of wine and relax while they handled bathtime and bedtime, which was a treat at that point.